And the winner wiener is:

Congratulations Melany, you win this:

The Golden Peen!

No, really. It’s all yours.

Okay, okay. Seriously. You win a gift certificate for whatever your heart desires from Eden Fantasys!

Congratulations!

Thanks again to Casey for this find!

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I have an incredible urge to buy these, put them on my tree and just wait to see who notices.

(more…)

Perusing some of the older submissions I came across this. At first I thought it was just some weird polymer head with a goofy grin and funny eyes.

Then I read the description and choked on my water then spit it all over my computer.

Someone owes me a clean computer.

Heed the warning, people. Heed!

From the listing…

This is a strong mama & not for the timid. She is crowning in a deep squat, known to be an optimal position for birth, utilizing both gravity and a wide open pelvis to bring her baby strongly into the world. She refuses to be drugged, cut open, or forced onto her back in a pose of subservience. She takes charge of her birth & she’s doing it HER WAY. She is as anatomically detailed as I could manage, complete with labia, nipples & clitoral hood.

Holy feminist Batman!

Guess that makes me a push over man servant. Ah well. Can’t win ‘em all, can we? No sense in getting my labia all bunched up.

I will not make her less detailed.

How’s that for standards!?

Thanks Carolyn!

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“She never uses this one. I bet she won’t even notice it’s gone… This is going to be so awesome! She’s going to love it. This and the cutlery from the china cabinet? She hasn’t used that in forever! So amazing. I’m brilliant!”

:::

“Honey! Have you seen my tea pot? The Jones’ are going to be here soon! I need the good tea pot. I can’t serve Betty tea is this old thing. I’ll be the talk of the euchre club. – Speaking of the tea pot, all my cutlery is gone too!”

“Nope, sweetie! Haven’t seen them.”

*whispers* Ah crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!

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Barbie herself would be pretty pleased with this Pretty in Pink version of the almighty girl-throne.

At $2100, this lovely number isn’t cheap, but the only thing that keeps running through my mind is how in the heck would you clean all that grout?  Call me a germ-a-phobe, but it just seems to me that all those nooks and crannies would be ideal places for poo germs to have an all out crazy-ass rave, complete with glow necklaces and boomboomboomboom and poppin’ ecstasy all up those little VIP rooms between all that toilet bling.

So um, ew.  Say no to drugs, kids.

Thanks Nic!

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