I want to go eat a carton of Chubby Hubby just so I DON’T end up looking like this miserable bobble-headed little bony wretch. And I don’t even LIKE Chubby Hubby.

This slimming fridge magnet is designed to reduce the excessive amount of trips to the fridge. Whilst it does not claim any magical powers it serves as an extra reminder of “the big goal” whenever you are lurking into the kitchen.

{Source} $8 and all the pie you can stuff into your pie-hole

Bloody zombie garden gnomes. For those who aren’t going for that quaint, charming look.

{Source} $10. Where are you going to find a better deal on bloody zombie gnomes? Huh?

Just what every little girl needs to get her start on a business empire!

This is a little pile of professionally bailed bricks of pure Columbian cocaine, a perfect addition to your child’s dollhouse or school diorama. (You could also put them inside your Tijuana-themed terrarium.)

Attention: There are no drugs inside these packages. It’s white clay. If you snort it, you’re on your own.

{Source} H/T Elizabeth Only $18 dollars, a savings of $5 million, more or less, over the real thing (don’t ask me, I haven’t priced kilos of cocaine lately)

One question, though: What is up with her boobs?
{Source} $125 or will trade for a pallet of Two-Buck Chuck

I present the Disco Ball Bra

Warning: If you break this, it is like 1 million years bad luck.
{Source} $72 worth of sparkly mirrors