This one comes from an assist by the able Schmutzie, of Schmutzie, Five Star Friday, and the Canadian Blogging Awards (among other things). She sent me the cutest message saying "Would you mind if I occasionally sent you Etsy links to crazy shit? Like this?" Would I MIND? No, I love having people help me excavate the muddy minefields of crazy Etsy stuff. Oh, you want to see what she sent me? Guess what? It has already sold! But it looked like this: Fret not, my friends. The shop has even better items in it, my favorite of which is a - wait for it - statement necklace that looks almost exactly like a banana peel! And what better way to say "I'm going bananas!" than to wear bananas? {Source} Less than $23 worth of crazy

LaurieWrites pointed me to these horrifying items. Thanks, Laurie. When we're sharing a room at BlogHer and I wake up screaming, I'll remind you about this. Jewelry made from Barbie parts. They should be called the Mayhem Collection. Full story at Toxel.com

It's time to start thinking about Valentines Day. Guys, don't be caught unawares! Your best girl wants something from you, and what she wants is a Cuttlefish Necklace! Don't believe those jewelry store commercials. Diamonds and pearls are so old-fashioned. Show your lover that you want to wrap her in your tentacles and take her to your crevice on the sea floor for some cephalapod-style romance! {Source} $35 of squiddy beauty

To YOU it may be a "statement necklace." To me, it's something that is going to get caught in a whirring gear, drag me into the machine, and snap my neck, leaving me dead, tragically young, and beautiful. Well, one out of three, anyway. [caption id="attachment_8399" align="alignnone" width="570" caption="Messy green necklace"][/caption]

Rubber jewelry is light weight, versatile and fun to wear. This piece combines black and purple buttons with seaweed green rubber to create a dramatic statement.

So, dear readers - do tell - what IS the statement this necklace is making? {Source} Marked down from $55 to $49.50 for the thrifty

Sometimes don't you just want to say: PUT DOWN THE WIRE AND MAKE SOME REAL CRAFTS. Those three were bad, but this one makes me furious:

This is a great necklace. Wire wrapped ball looks like a fabulous ball of yarn. Hanging from an 18 inch Sterling silver chain, it is sure to delight! The perfect gift for the knitter in your life!

It is NOT a fabulous ball of yarn. It is some damned wire rolled in a ball, and no matter how hard you try to make it something else, that is all it will ever be. Gah. You are DISMISSED. {Source} As if.