My mother-in-law HATES squirrels. She’s the type who likes every leaf and branch picked up in the yard and the squirrels – I swear on mah life y’all – THROW tree nuts at her while she’s out there. It’s like they know how upset she gets. Their little beady eyes light up when they see her.
Which is why I totally wanna get her one of these for her next birthday:
Oh not to be cruel, not in the least. I wouldn’t dream of upsetting my mother-in-law. But here’s the thing: since I quit smoking 3 years ago, she has to go outside alone to smoke. There’s no more gossiping about family members on the back deck for us. Now she’d have Charlie the Smoking Squirrel here to smoke with. As a bonus, he and his giant uzi* would scare off all the other squirrels that have tormented her for years!
Think she’d go for it?
Pah. Me neither. She’d probably never speak to me again. Maybe I should stick with the squirrel earrings. Nothing says I love you like Dead Tree Rat.
via A Smeddling Kiss – thanks Velma!
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* I have no idea if that’s an uzi, obviously. I’m pulling from very limited, very old G.I. Joe figurine knowledge.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
AWESOME.
I think I’m going to get one for my dad. He gets mad at them for stealing from the bird feeder. I say it’s a perfect way to tell those pesky critters they could be next. LOL
June 5th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
I think I’m have stroke right now – or the deepest, weirdest laugh I’ve ever had. WOW WOW WOW! I have a handful of people who deserve these – but I can’t make myself actually purchase one. Thank you for making my day (in a really uncomfortable way.)
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June 5th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I do believe that is an AK-47. =)
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June 5th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Looks like an AK to me, too… why do I even know this?
I have a serious hate-on for squirrels, too, so this gave me a really good laugh!
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June 5th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
It’s an M-16 or AR-15, the military or civilian version of the US standard army rifle. I’m not sure where they got such a detailed toy version, my Lego minifigs have simplified versions from BrickArms.
sam {temptingmama} (146 comments.) Reply:
June 10th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Allan, your freakish knowledge of this weapon has scared me a little. Now I’m going to buy this nutty squirrel to protect me while I
try tosleep.June 5th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
But he’s wearing like – a little Guardian Angels beret… don’t they fight for good and protect little old ladies? What is this exactly? Some kind of gangbanger’s trophy?
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June 5th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Whoooooweeee. After checking out those lurvely earring, I think I know what Rick’s Mrs. might be gittin’ fer her birthday this year!
Yours in Yeehawness,
Velma
June 6th, 2009 at 12:16 am
I think it’s definitely an AR-15. But OMG, is the kicky beret to DIE FOR, or WHAT???
June 6th, 2009 at 8:19 am
I can think of about 4 people I could buy them for for a joke. That is almost cute. Yes, I said it. I can’t believe it. I should be sad but I can’t stop laughing at how he’s holding that gun!
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June 6th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
I want one. For work. Just kind of a cute “You do *not* mess with my decisions” kinda statement.
And besides, it’d make one of the ops managers freak. She has major squirrel hate. And bunny hate.
Okay, I’d probably get fired for the toy gun though. And that whole cigarette thing. And someone would invariably be offended by the squirrel itself. (Dang, I guess I can’t justify the purchase)
June 7th, 2009 at 3:51 am
Why are they all military-themed? Personally, I would prefer my stuffed squirrel be dressed in a double breasted suit with an ascot, drinking a dry martini.
Jade beads (112 comments.) Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 2:01 am
i think its a mad squirrel or maybe a frustrated army squirrel haha
June 8th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
i totally had squirrels on my wedding invitation. the website for these is rad.
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