After hearing a radio commercial for the new Kentucky Fried Chicken campaign for Mother’s Day (Moms Night Off!), Sam turned to me and said, “If someone gave me a bucket of chicken for Mother’s Day, I’d rip his member off, shove it down his throat and pull it out his cornholio.”
Sam has issues.
Course if someone gave me THIS for Mother’s Day, it might elicit the same reaction. Here’s the backstory:
It all started one Christmas as an innocent joke. Leo bought Kitty some gold earrings, and just to see what would happen, he attached a toenail to each one. Kitty thought they must be shark’s teeth or shells, and she thought that they were beautiful. She wore them all Christmas day before he ‘fessed up to the true nature of the bling on the earrings. Luckily for him, she thought it was hilarious, as did the rest of the family. (I personally find it hard to believe that Kitty didn’t recognize those toenails – I mean, this was pre-painting and pre-sculpting eras of toenail art, and they really kinda look like toenails to me).
It got worse. Leo kept making creations out of his toenails and giving them to Kitty as gifts. Now they are all displayed in a curio cabinet in their home.
Thanks Jana!
{source}
May 1st, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Oh. Mah. Gawd. Can Not Stop Shuddering. Must shower with Borax immediately.
Joie at Canned Laughter’s last blog post..I Have Such A Crush
May 1st, 2009 at 2:14 pm
In the case of any gift bearing toenails I believe the court allows immediate dissolution of marriage vows and all assets given to the injured party. Dear God.
May 1st, 2009 at 2:18 pm
OMG I just threw up in my mouth a little.
The Introvert’s last blog post..feelin’ good again
May 1st, 2009 at 2:19 pm
O. M. G.
*blink*
*blink*
I HATE toenails as it is, now seeing this…
I have goosebumps.
O.M.F.G. So gross.
May 1st, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Thanks for the review
Glad you’re enjoying it. Or. . . rather. . . NOT enjoying it.
Rachel @ Grasping for Objectivity in my Subjective Life’s last blog post..Practice Makes Perfect!! . . . unless you’re two.
May 1st, 2009 at 2:27 pm
I’m gonna heave. I can feel it. *shudders*
Chibi Jeebs’s last blog post..How old is too old for an allowance?
May 1st, 2009 at 2:36 pm
why did I go look at her blog??
May 1st, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I have to say, once you get past the ick factor (and that’s quite a trip), the whole thing is hilarious.
May 1st, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Where was the safety warning on this post!? My eyes!
Deluxx’s last blog post..Newspaper Dinghy Drainstopper
May 1st, 2009 at 2:50 pm
whats worse is the way they are RIPPED off, not clipped.
Oh My God.
So disgusting
May 1st, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Could you have warned me? I’m eating, and now about to hurl. Thanks.
Oh, I get it…you’re just trying to help with my diet!
Headless Mom’s last blog post..
May 1st, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I think i just threw up in my mouth.
Oh my god, why? Just… why?
May 1st, 2009 at 3:40 pm
that is so gross. I’m shocked, and there are a lot of crazy things on this site and this, this shocks me.
May 1st, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I read this blog regularly and have never been compelled to post a comment.
Until now.
BARF.
BARF AGAIN.
Really, this person should be locked away. FOREVER.
sarah’s last blog post..The Dog is Jealous
May 1st, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Oh my god that squicks me out so badly. Ick ick ick ick ick.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:40 am
oh my. I hope Santa took a crap in his stocking. That would be just about fair payback. Then again, anyone who couldn’t easily tell that is a nasty hank of a toenail on those earrings might need to be humiliated like that to learn a lesson…NOT ALL GIFTS ARE LOVELY. Ick.
May 2nd, 2009 at 1:11 am
Aack. Aaack. Aaack. I’m dry heaving.
Lotta’s last blog post..Trios and Duos
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:08 am
@mundanejane
I’m glad I’m not the only one.
May 2nd, 2009 at 6:56 am
A toe nail for a gift?
Palabuzz’s last blog post..Charice Pempengco releases new album
May 2nd, 2009 at 8:09 am
I hate feet, I hate toenails. Those earrings make me shudder! I can’t get that pukey feeling out of my mouth. Seriously, that is disgusting.
Give me the f”in chicken because I will so leave your ass if you give me those earrings.
Taylor Blue’s last blog post..Hayden Panettiere Shows Off More Of Her Tattoo
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:49 am
Wow, I guess there really is a perfect soul mate out there for everyone, huh?
“Cute and Romantic?” Um, no. In fact, hell no.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I love this prank! When ever I brush my nappy, split ended hair I end up with a clump of hair on my brush. I remove the clump and tightly twist it into little figures I dubbed ‘hair babies’. I leave them in strange places all over the house. My wife hates them! I never understood why. She doesn’t mind my hair when its attached to my head, but as soon as its detached it becomes ‘disgusting’. Girls are odd!
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Look at how long those nails are! Dude must shred his socks on a regular basis.
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Please pass the Comet – I’m going to scour my eyes out.
May 3rd, 2009 at 8:45 pm
“That is so gross” said while running, gagging towards the bathroom.
May 4th, 2009 at 7:47 am
OMG!!!
That’s the most disgusting thing ever!!!!
It’s only 8:45 am and my day is ruined.
I’m about to puke……
May 4th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
what the hell? The internet is a dangerous place folks!!
candace trew camling’s last blog post..Stories for Children Magazine May 2009 Issue
May 5th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Um…where the f**k did all the toenails come from? did they collect them from friends or rip them off of the decaying bodies in their basement.
May 5th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
This was NSFL (I am eating lunch right now…. or I was…. haha)
May 8th, 2009 at 8:52 am
If the woman would wear your toenails as jewelry you better have already married her or setting out to do so,
that is a keeper.