Hi. I’m Candace. My Daddy brought this frog back from China for me, but ever since I got the little guy, I ain’t been feelin’ so good.
My Nana says the frog is possessed by the devil. My Dad says not to listen to her. She is always goin’ to church and rubbin’ on the minister all friendly-like.
My Mama says Nana is possessed by the AL-Call, but I dun know what she talkin’ ’bout. Alls I know is Nana gives me stickers from her whisky bottle. I have scads of ‘em on account of her handing them over faster than we all go through toilet tickets.
My Mama is worried ’bout my little sister. Her eyes done bugged out nearly onta tha floor when she got near the frog. I reckon it’s the frog’s spots that made her go all wacky tabacky. Frog spots likely ain’t no good for a baby.
My Uncle Tyrone says the frog is not to blame. In fact he made all three of his kids lick my frog just to prove a point. Now one has a blind eye, the cat looks the same, and the other kid has no nose. Her Mama say she gonna take her to Hollywood and sell her as a Bratz doll.
My Uncle Steve is really jealous. Now he wants to lick my frog too so his nose will fall off. He is dying to be a Bratz Doll. He barfs up every meal and says that his dreams knows no bounds.
Maybe I can give my frog to Uncle Steve. I’m just real worried it’ll end up where his hamster did – in his butt. Uncle Steve scares me.
{for the record, I think these dolls are really well done. I just saw them and had to make up a story.}
































November 13th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I will be needing an extra therapy session this week. Thanks.
Sassy’s last blog post..Conwoman or a true sob story?