I swear. Some media outlets just make it too easy to make fun of them. Apparently, Miley Cyrus picked up dinner at Outback Steakhouse the other night. And that should have been the end of it. Except it wasn’t. Because Miley {gasp} “angered the staff” when she “failed to leave a tip on the $70 bill”.
“She pulled an envelope of money out and handed a $100 bill over, but she kept all the change.”
Reports immediately circulated that “Miley Cyrus Makes $25 Million and Thinks She’s Better Than You!”, “Miley Cyrus Gets The Best of Both Worlds!” “Miley Cyrus Makes Mickey Mouse Cry!”.
Miley’s spokesperson issued a response claiming that Miley “made a genuine mistake in failing to add a service charge. Miley didn’t know she was supposed to
tip unless she was eating inside.”
First of all, Outback? Second, I once left a bitchy waitress a note that said “Here’s a tip: fix your hair”. Third, let me explain takeout. According to initial reports Miley and her sister, Brandi, picked up dinner themselves and then ate it outside the restaurant. You know, without a server. Like, to go. As in, to leave.
If I were Miley’s spokesperson my response would have been a little less…diplomatic. Fortunately for you I get paid to be a smartass.
We all know Candy Spelling is a wackadoo, right? Her daughter Tori even wrote a book about it. I keep meaning to order it and read it but then something less shallow than a kiddie pool comes along and trumps it.
“Spelling has three gift-wrapping rooms in the home (dudes, WTF?), including the smallest for everyday gifts (pictured). “When Liam was still coming to see me,” says Spelling of estranged daughter Tori’s 2-year-old son, “we changed his diapers right here on this table, so it’s good for all kinds of wrapping.”"
Oh hee, Candy. You so silly. Remind me never to accept a gift you wrapped on your grandbaby’s change table.
Anyway folks, forget those crazy Spellings and check this out. Artist Scott Hove has made a completely sculptured cake room that looks like if you got too close, it might eat you. Or yanno, blame your mother for everything in your life and write a book about it.
Okay, and y’all know what I mean when I talk about Tree Faces, right?
If not, here ya go, rookie:
Yeah. People actually buy these in country stores and put them on their trees. Apparently none of them ever hid in their Papa’s chest when the trees start pelting Dorothy with apples in The Wizard of Oz. *eep*
Well if those faux wood faces weren’t enough to send me to therapy for an extra session, looking at these Orgasm Tammy Faye-Baker tree adornments? SURE DID THE TRICK.
