Soap on a rope, or airport-clearing novelty item?

Also handy for giving the combat veterans in your life a jolt of PTSD.

{Source} $10 and several years in a Supermax prison

Whether it’s a first birthday or a 50th birthday all birthdays are special. Why not make it extra special with a keepsake party hat.

Because if you do, I will kill you. That’s why.

Middle age is full of its own humiliations. I don’t need anyone to add to them. Yes, I’m cranky. That’s one of the enjoyable parts about getting older.

{Source} $24.95 and your imminent death.

One way to tell the world that there’s no way you’re over him?

{Source} $4. I recommend a spa weekend with your besties instead.

Cute, or creepy?

{Source} $17, and the chance that you will forget the baby outside in a tree and will have to deal with Child Protective Services for the next 5 years.

The price is one pcs.There are two colors (blue/pink ) in the selected one. Please tell me what kind of color need to ship, thank you!

Wait, the price is $99. Does this mean the two shown are $198? It must be. Because two may push the Bling Scale past its reasonable limits and destroy space and time as we know it.

{Source}