Craftastrophe » You Probably Won’t Win But You Can Try!

IT’S A NEW WEBSITE DESIGN! IT’S A GIVEAWAY! And? Bratz ain’t the only naughty dolls, yanno?

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 20:00:02 +0000

As you can see we’ve made a few changes around here (if you’re reading in your feedreader, come on over and see!) It’s been nearly a year since we started Craftastrophe and we’re glad you’ve been along for the ride. We’ve listened to you in terms of making the site lighter and easier to read, and also heard you regarding having to click each entry to read (what a PAIN, I know). So unless a post has more than one picture from here on out, you shouldn’t have to click anything to see the whole thing.

(this is where Karen steps in and says, “dude. you’re SITTING. Do not complain to me about clicking a freaking button.”)

(this is where Sam says, “Karen, quit being a douche.”)

Hope you enjoy the new look. Unless you’re using Internet Explorer. We curse you with the fire of a thousand glue guns. And we’ll fix that later. Happy Thanksgiving if you’re Canadian like us, and if you’re anyone else – that blows that you gotta work on Monday, sucker. We’re gonna go eat some turkey. But not like this hilarious freakshow.

Lots of Love,

Sam & Karen

p.s. We’re still working out a few kinks, and in the meantime, feel free to get kinky with Barbie and MAYBE WIN SOMETHING!

:::

Barbie is damn sick of all this talk about these slutty little girls who have been trying to steal her limelight. Many have speculated that Barbie may just be too tame for the young girls these days. Doctor Barbie? Daycare Barbie? Three Musketeers Barbie? They’re all a show people.

Barbie is a dirty, dirty whore.

From the listing:

This is a single blank greeting card with one of my ‘Fetishdollies’ images on it. It comes complete with white envelope.

You know, so you can mail a note to Nana, inviting her over for tea….

And!

Speaking of bondage and all things naughty sex we’re hosting another Eden Fantastys giveaway here at Craftastrophe for those who wanna get their freak on.

Eden Fantasys is your home for all things dirty fun like lingerie, vibrators, and everything bondage. You too can get your freaky Barbie on!

HOW TO ENTER: Go HERE.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

We Have a Winner!

Karen Sugarpants — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 21:35:10 +0000

Drumroll please: Congratulations to Jesica! Jesica has won the Brother P-Touch PT-1290 and I couldn’t be happier for her. Upon hopping over to her blog, I saw that she became Super Mom the other day when she made makeshift corn dogs for like 4cents. Colour me totally impressed! Jesica, I’ll be emailing you to get your address to send to our lovely Brother representative.

Not the same, but still fun:

TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 16:30:01 +0000

It’s a sickness for someone like me. My baking cupboard is chock full of labeled Tupperware containers, my laundry shelves and pantry are similarly stocked like an OCD’s (or retail merchandiser’s) dream. But I did it all without the help of a Brother P-Touch PT-1290.

You? You don’t have to, dear pet.

Check this bad boy out:

Part of the “Simply Stylish” line of P-touch products, the PT-1290 is perfect for all your home office labeling applications. With its sleek design, the PT-1290 will blend nicely with virtually any home office décor.

Features an easy-view 15-character LCD display, typewriter style keyboard and Auto Tape Detection feature that automatically recognizes the size of the installed tape cassette and adjusts the text to fit the label width. A dedicated “Deco Mode” key gives you easy access to 15, unique pre-designed label formats for creating decorative labels – including professional layouts that accommodate 2 rows of text. Easily switch between 2 fonts – with the touch of a button. Use the built-in memory to store up to 9 of your most frequently used labels. More Info…

There are two simple ways to enter this lovely contest:

Re-tweet the following statement on Twitter: RT @craftastrophe ENTER TO WIN A BROTHER P-TOUCH LABEL MAKER here: http://tinyurl.com/nrgvln
Subscribe to our feed.

Once you complete one or both of these tasks, comment below and let us know.

TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP!

We will draw a winner using random.org. Contest ends Wednesday August 5th, 2009 at MIDNIGHT E.S.T.

Now get outta here!

Not the same, but still fun:

GIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!

Karen Sugarpants — Mon, 18 May 2009 16:19:44 +0000

Twitter users rejoice! The lovely Lori of Moda di Magno Blog for Stylish Living is back and she has been busy!

First, she made a slew of Frail (Fail) Whale necklaces for y’all.

Then she made Sam and I each one (Score!) and one with @craftastrophe on it to give to one lucky Craftastrophe reader.

(YOU CAN FOLLOW US ON TWITTER HERE!)

If that wasn’t enough, she’s offering free personalization to the first 20 Craftastrophe readers who order a Frail Whale necklace via the button at the top of her blog sidebar.

Lori is clearly a Rockstar.

Lori’s Blog (where the sale is – the button in the sidebar)

Lori’s Shop

Lori on Twitter

To win a Fail Whale Necklace, tell us in the comments what your Twitter ID is (so we can follow you) and what you love most about Twitter. This is a quickie contest and will end tonight (Monday May 18th, 2009) at midnight EST.

Best of Luck!

Some more like this one:

Winner Announcement: The Cone GIVEAWAY!

sam {temptingmama} — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 23:14:36 +0000

Thanks to those of you who participated in our giveaway sponsored by edenfantasys.com! It was great reading all your responses! Hopefully you are able to find something from edenfantasys.com that suits your *ahem* needs.

The winner of The Cone:

Beverly says:

April 8, 2009 at 8:38 am (Edit)

Most interesting item? I vote for the “Five Gates of Hell”. It really made me stare wide-eyed. Like so: O_O

I don’t have a penis, and that little gem makes me grateful.

Congratulations Beverly! I’ll be in touch to get your contact information to have your item sent out!

Some more like this one:

GIVEAWAY!: Cozies, Done Craftastrophe Style (NSFW)

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:20:13 +0000

It’s time for another Craftastrophe giveaway but this time we’re giving back to our readers courtesy of EdenFantasys! Which means it’s time to get your freak on!

Ever worry about your child / parent / friend finding your sex toy? Well fear not because now you can disguise it as a sushi roll!

Or a lobster?

Or how about the ever popular Flying Spaghetti Monster, who made an appearance here once before?

You could use one to store the very popular G-spot Gemstone (though, it may be too pretty to hide in one of these).

How about showing your pride by snuggling your prized possession in a patriotic cozy?

Keep your toy warm in a Canadian flag cozy – especially if it’s one of these gorgeous steel toys because seriously? You don’t want that stuff stickin’.

Monsters scare little kids. Monsters with mohawks and button eyes would surely scar an ankle biting snooper.

For those more hardcore players, here’s his and hers totes to attempt to conceal this behemoth carry hide your 10″ TEX.

A tote for her:

Or how about a manbag for him – created from used Star Wars bed sheet. HAWT.

Giveaway Rules

1. Visit EdenFantasys.com and peruse the site.
2. Tell us, in the comments, the most interesting item you found.
3. Only one entry per person, but twitter the following to receive an extra entry:

@craftastrophe is giving you the chance to win something special from #edenfantasys I entered and so should you - http://bit.ly/pui7K

Giveaway closes Monday April, 13 2009 at 12:00pm EST.

Winner will be chosen via the old name in a hat routine and selected by my three year old son. Appropriate, right?

What do you win?

The Cone

Designed for him and her, you can use it for solo exploration or during partner play for even more fun. With a powerful 3 volt, 300 rpm motor, the 16 built-in functions vary the vibration speed and frequency up to 30Hz, with a powerful “orgasm button” for those who are impatient.

Good luck!

Some more like this one:

Holy Pig Head Bras! We’re Nominated in the 2009 Bloggies!

Karen Sugarpants — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:15:32 +0000

Before I get to today’s Craftastrophe (which really, you should stick around for because OH MY DAYS it’s funny horrifying), I must tell you the good news!

Craftastrophe was nominated in the Best Art, Craft, or Design Weblog category in the 2009 Bloggies.

Yeah, we don’t know what the hell they were thinking either. I mean really, they must be on some sort of drug that makes them all shaky and weird. Probably they read our blog and immediately sought medical help for mental anguish and then got these little pills but because they were so traumatized, they shook too many pills out and overdosed and SLAMMO! Down the gullet with a cocktail of FUN, and next thing you know, this blog is in a contest. Druggies are really unpredictable. Don’t loan anybody money over at the 2009 Bloggies. They’ll just use it all for blow and hos. Is that how you spell ho, plural? See, we’re not even good writers. We don’t even know our grammar.

We’re also guessing the “Blog Most Likely To Warrant Therapy” category was nixed at the last minute. To be in the same category with big blogs like Post Secret, Apartment Porn Therapy (omfg we love them), and Yarn Harlot scares the pants off of us. And that’s saying something nothing because we often blog without pants. We’re big fans of pantsless blogging. With glitter. And warm glue.

ANYWAY.

In order for us to win the 2009 Bloggies, we’d probably have to resort to some sort of showing of our tits. I mean, we’re up against POST SECRET, for goodness sakes. Dude does a great service to the blogging community once a week and donates a pantload of money to suicide prevention. So even showing our tits won’t work. Besides, we’re both raging feminists and well, the other ladies would be pissed if we did that.

Instead I’m just going to say, “We’re heads over tits that we’re finalists in the 2009 Bloggies! Vote for us!”

See what I did there? Heads over tits? That oughtta do it!

Oh and while you are voting – please note that our very own Sam (of Temptation Designs) designed Blog Nosh Magazine, who are nominated for “Best Designed Weblog,” and my cousin Sarcastica is up for “Best Teen Weblog.”

GO VOTE! Vote daily and remember to floss!

{pig head bra source}

Some more like this one:

Hangman Necklace Giveaway Winner!!

Karen Sugarpants — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 14:43:58 +0000

First I’d like to congratulate our lovely winner of the Below14th’s Hangman Necklace:

Abbey L who said:

This winter I was making crafty snowmen with my 5 year old daughter. I set out the supplies on the table (construction paper, cotton balls, glue, pipe cleaners, etc.), and we both went to work. She made me promise not to look at hers until she was done, and I agreed. Well, I made mine, a cute melted snowman with buttons for eyes and a little felt hat, but when I looked over at her finished product, I laughed so hard I was crying. She had made an anatomically correct “Daddy” snowman, with buttons for b*lls and an orange felt carrot for a p*nis. LOL!

Thanks to Abbey for her funny story and for all of you who participated!

As a kind gesture to those of you who went over to Luana’s Etsy shop and gave her a ‘heart’ to favorite her shop, Luana would like to offer Craftastrophe readers 10% off until next Saturday! Now since Etsy doesn’t do coupons, she’ll just reimburse people thru Paypal. All you have to do is use the code “Craftastrophe” at checkout.

I’m SO PUMPED because I’ve had my eye on this:

Ready, set, SHOP!

Some more like this one:

TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman Necklace

Karen Sugarpants — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 17:05:44 +0000

Luana commented on our blog last week and I had to write her back. Her shop and website are a good indication of her amazing and intricate work, and once we got to talking, it was obvious who I would pick to be our next giveaway sponsor. Especially when Luana showed me this:

Stick figure, handmade entirely out of sterling silver. Hand-sawed, edges are intentionally left uneven to maintain the look of a hand drawing.

Measures 4cm x 3cm. Comes with a 24 inch sterling silver chain.

Made to order, some tiny details may vary. Please allow 2 weeks to ship. Like all of our orders, it will arrive wrapped simply in recycled materials.

Doesn’t that just scream, “I’m a Craftastrophe reader!?” I’ll admit, I’m a wee bit jealous of the recipient!

Below 14th is a women-owned metal and glass studio in New Haven, CT. They hand make all of their pieces and try to use ethical materials whenever possible. You can follow their story - about how Luana quit her full-time job and set up a studio, as well as tutorials, and overall judgment of everything- at their blog, Below 14th.

In order to enter to win this fabulous necklace, you need to comment with a funny craft story. Could be your own, could be your Grannys, could be made up in your head. Just come up with a story that involves crafts and makes us laugh. Crafts and laughs baby. Got it? GO!

*Winner to be pick by Random.org Generator on Saturday January 10th. Contest ends Thursday January 8th at 9 p.m. EST.*

Some more like this one:

And the Winner Is…..

Karen Sugarpants — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 16:29:08 +0000

Thank you for entering our very first giveaway, dear readers. If you missed it, stay tuned for more giveaways in the future!

Our lucky winner of the pendant made by the talented and gracious Stacey of JS Glass Art is…..

Mrs Nutty Mommy who said:

Mrs Nutty Mummy says:

My favourite was definitely the sushi necklace that made a poo! I think I would probably get one too. Maybe.

I tweeted too
Mrs Nutty Mummy’s last blog post..Oh poo!

Congratulations Mrs Nutty Mommy! (Please email us at craftastropheblog@gmail.com with your mailing address so Stacey can mail that little gem out to you!)

Now if you didn’t win, don’t worry, we will be hosting more contests featuring talented designers in the future. The best way to keep informed on new contests is to follow us on twitter, subscribe to our RSS feed via your favorite blog reader, or subscribe to our blog via email (in the sidebar, just put your email address is and hit the subscribe button!)

Love,
The Craftastrophe Girls

p.s. If you are a crafter and would like to gain exposure and traffic by helping us host a giveaway, please email us at craftastropheblog@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you!