and now we know what the tooth fairy does with all of those teeth.  Also, ew.

Source

I’m beginning to think you people are making this shit to purposefully get on Craftastrophe.  This is worse than Katy Perry’s whipped cream bra.

Okay, no it isn’t.  But it’s still really fucking weird.

Do you think this is what Courtney Love had in mind when she sang, “I am…Doll Parts…”?

{source}

Renee is at a loss for words.

That’s a pretty good likeness of Caroline Rhea.

Oh, wait–what?

Miley Cyrus?

You are fucking kidding.

{source}

Renee likes her jeans blue.

Yesterday my boyfriend and I were talking about the ridiculousness of the term “sex positive.”  If you’re unfamiliar with it (because you don’t live in the hipster-and-hippie-fied SF Bay) it can mean anything from “I have an open mind about sex” to “I’m a fetish crazy swinger with sex toys mounted to three of my four living room walls.”  Basically (as Oleg put it) “I’m not a repressed Christian zealot.” It’s one of those terms that’s inherently unnecessary–who doesn’t feel positively toward sex (apart from the aforementioned repressed religious types)?–but that people have decided they really, really like throwing around.  They also like to use it (as previously mentioned) to describe a stupidly wide range of attitudes, which is why it reminds me of another term I’ve come to loathe: objet d’art.

Literally meaning “object of art,” this term has been taken over by anyone and everyone that’s ever made something ridiculous and wanted to make it sound fancy.  And since it technically covers a pretty big group of things–any object that you can consider “art,” which is basically any object–people have thrown it around to the point that it’s been rendered absolutely meaningless.

How can I be sure it’s lost all meaning?  Because that’s how someone described this garish patriotic explosion, titled “handbeaded AH HA BARRETTE.”

A grown-up “conversation piece… you’re going to be talked about flaunting this “after one’s own heart” object d’art
(It’s classy by it’s own sassy self but it’s a swingy, beady eye catchy standout in a hairdo too!)

I can imagine what people will say when they mention my object d’art (way to know your terminologies!) and I’m guessing most of their statements will be made while giggling behind my back and will probably include things like aren’t there laws about flag desecration? and wearing that barrette does not mean we are going to call you Miss America.

I also love the parenthetical nod being classy.  Know what’s classy?  Simple shapes in basic shades–black, white, brown.  Clean lines.  Quality components.  Basically, things that are not made of shiny red plastic stars and Fimo clay.

And I can’t fathom what you’re supposed to do with this thing apart from wear it in your hair.  I mean, I’d never wear this in my hair because I don’t want to look like I’m vomiting stars and stripes out of my skull, but that write up seems to suggest that there are other options.  Am I going to lay it on my desk at work?  Should I hang it on the wall?  Or maybe it can be like those car testicles and dangle from the underside of my Nissan.

Whatever it is, I’d better be able to do something with it if it’s going to cost me a cool $50.

{source}

Renee kind of hopes somebody buys this.

At some point, in every Chiropractor’s life, a certain sense of stagnation sets in. They think to themselves, “Self? Whatever can I do to increase my patient load?”

The answer, my friends, is not blowing in the wind. It is this:

This $193.00, 412lb,  spine jacker, is sure to alleviate that pesky natural curve which has been hounding your cervical spine FOR YEARS. It is one of a kind, you’ll be shocked to learn. But, hell. The brass teapot is not included.

Source