Dear Santa,

I’ve been such a good girl this year.  What I’d really like is a carousel of Crayola crayons and a couple of dirty colouring books filled with genitalia.  Don’t forget the glitter crayons!

Love, Karen

p.s. I know about glitter.  That’s why I asked.  Someone should tell that dead teenager, Edward Cullen.

Thanks Annette!

{source and source and source}

Want an edible thong but aren’t sure what ingredients are safe for your bod?

A little red lace thong made from red lace candy might make his heart race!  And the snot-nosed kid at the Walmart won’t be the wiser when he rings your candy purchase through!  Diabetic comas included with every orgasm.  We give and we give, people.

Knitty.com has the pattern but warns:

Like all fine lingerie, these panties are very delicate. Knit gently. If you need your L-string to last longer than a few hours before use, you will need to keep the panties moist.

They mean vegetable oil, perv-o.

On a somewhat poontastic related note, Deb on the Rocks is requesting Madame T. melt down her Bush for a world-wide Bush Whacking Waxing.  Go see.

Thanks Gisela for the sweet find!

Once in a great while, we sit on a craft, biding our time and waiting until the perfect opportunity to show it to you.  You never know when these things will be released from the Top Secret CraftastaVault, but when they do…they are usually Not Safe For Work/Kids.

This is one of those times.  Especially if your work has a no Unicorn Vagina rule.

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Imagine your Granny opening one of these. My Granny would probably laugh her head off, but that’s because she is The Awesome.
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Since having my first kid and having my lady bits ripped to shreads I developed an aversion to thongs. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stand the feeling of fabric all up in my hidey hole.

Cute full bottom underpants are hit or miss, but these?

These? Are AWESOME.

Nothing screams prepubescent little girl like rainbow hearts!

But wait! They get better!

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