When I said I wanted some jewelry that was ladylike, this wasn’t what I was thinking.

Felt Vagina Vulva Brooches

Here they are! These felt brooches are all one of a kind and unique, no two are alike (just like real vaginas!).

Thanks to alert BlogMother Karen for this one.

{Source} $5.00 Australian. Because of course they come from down under.

What could these lovely young ladies be up to?

Let’s see, they have red hair and pitchers.  I wonder what’s in the pitchers.  Maybe it’s wine.  Maybe, if I’m nice, they’ll let me have some.

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Yep. I’ve said that before. That awesome (sarcasm) uterine massage after having a baby? Yep, that did it.

Uterus Pinata was a new one though.

I adore that the creator is self aware – she knows it’s a little strange – Hell she links to Regretsy in her listing even.

I was a touch disturbed by this mental image:

The Uteriñata is excellent fun for all ages, even toddlers will enjoy the grab-the-string-and-pull action!

I immediately pictured my kid yanking out tampons or whatever and threw up in my mouth a little.

My bigger concern, of course, was just what candy would be most appropriate for inserting into a Uterus Pinata? I was thinking some Werther’s Originals because 1. they look like little cervixes (cervixi? cervipedes?) and 2. no one eats those things anyway.

I told my boyfriend about my dilemma – because candy stuffed uterus is totally normal conversation around here and his IMMEDIATE response was, “Oh totally those gummi lighthouses that really look like penises (penii? penipedes?)

Which is why I love that sick sumbitch.

What candy would you stick in a Uterus Pinata?

How’s your nude body image?  Feel like you could use a reminder to celebrate diversity in beauty?  Want to excite your self esteem?  Then I’ve got just the thing!

Exotic Soft Sculpture and cloth dolls are designed to arouse positive nude body image, excite high self-esteem and celebrate diversity in beauty.

How, you ask?  Obviously just by being around you!  Sit your cloth love doll on a folding stool in your house and admire her long skinny freak legs and short pointy hands!  Check out her awesome lumpy body and shiny pillow lips!  Snap at her signature sense of style and think, “Mmm hmm, you GO girl!”  You’ll be feeling better about yourself in no time, I promise!

But positive nude body image through creepy doll emulation doesn’t come cheap.  This diva will run you a cool $3,500–but trust me, she’s worth it.  Unh hunh

One diva not enough?  Don’t worry, she’s got friends!

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I don’t get vagina art.

I’m not one of those women who’s freaked out by genitals, either–I like my vagina–but it strikes me as immodest to hang your junk out for the world to see.  It also seems cruel to force the more prudish people out there, the ones who aren’t even comfortable with their own junk, let alone other people’s, to be unexpectedly confronted with a vagina.

“Oh, hey Sally, what’s that necklace your wearing?”

“Oh, it’s a polymer vagina.”

<Swoon>

And I was raised in the SF Bay Area, home of progressive attitudes toward genitalia.  So I have to think that there’s some disconnect going on (maybe it’s a result of all the BPAs?) in certain women (and men) that makes them think “art” like this is anything other than unnecessary.

What could it be?  Is it a stick figure lady?  Is it an apple with arms?

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