Craftastrophe » Um. WTF?

Ever have those annoying seat partners that never shut up? Like, NEVER?!

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:00:00 +0000

I’d use it to keep my head propped upright; or stick it on the talker next to me and blow it up to the point where they could no longer breathe talk.

Either way: $170.00 Blow up neck warmer / brace FTW!

Thanks Cari for showing us this store!

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Peen Cushion

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:45:32 +0000

** Have you entered our fabulous giveaway for a 75 dollar gift certificate to Eden Fantasys? Time’s running out!**

:::

Nothing like laying down on the couch to watch a good movie and end up getting dick in the ear.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Hmmm…What To Do With the Placenta…Hey! Let’s Make It Into A Teddy Bear!

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:31:20 +0000

I had to post this NOW. Thanks Mom-O-Matic!

From Inhabitots:

“Doing it for the Kids is a current exhibition put on by [re] design to showcase the latest, most innovative sustainable toy designs from around the globe. Among them, the Placenta Teddy Bear by designer Alex Green. A crafty alternative for those who don’t necessarily want to eat their baby’s placenta, but want to pay their respects to the life sustaining organ by turning it into a one-of-a-kind teddy bear. Green’s ‘Twin Teddy Kit’ ‘celebrates the unity of the infant, the mother and the placenta,’ and enables preparation of the placenta so it may be transformed into a teddy bear. The placenta must be cut in half and rubbed with sea salt to cure it. After it is dried out, it is treated with an emulsifying mixture of tannin and egg yolk to make it soft and pliable. Then, you craft it into a teddy bear.”

Hush little baby…don’t say a word…

{via Inhabitots}

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Not the same, but still fun:

I Think I’ll Stick To My Plain, White, Boring Toilet, Thanks.

Karen Sugarpants — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 02:24:39 +0000

Barbie herself would be pretty pleased with this Pretty in Pink version of the almighty girl-throne.

At $2100, this lovely number isn’t cheap, but the only thing that keeps running through my mind is how in the heck would you clean all that grout? Call me a germ-a-phobe, but it just seems to me that all those nooks and crannies would be ideal places for poo germs to have an all out crazy-ass rave, complete with glow necklaces and boomboomboomboom and poppin’ ecstasy all up those little VIP rooms between all that toilet bling.

So um, ew. Say no to drugs, kids.

Thanks Nic!

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What Happens To Carnie Babies That Come Out Normal? (Yanno, Without a Beard or a Horn?)

Karen Sugarpants — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:11:10 +0000

10 toes, 10 fingers, one head. You know the drill – that sort of thing doesn’t sell in the circus. (rubs hands together – ya that’s evil.)

From the listing:

Are you a fan of creepy circuses and freaky carnivals?
Do you love babies?

If you answered yes to both of those questions, this product is for you. Originally created as a prop for a Halloween party with a horror carnival theme, these cotton candy babies make a great addition to any curio room.

Hanging by a multi-colored string, these dolls were painted a deep red and surrounded by painted cotton to give the effect of a tasty cotton candy baby just ready to be eaten by the unsuspecting circus patron. Hang them, place them in a bowl, or use them as a great centerpiece – these babies will be a conversation starter no matter where they’re displayed.

We have five of these products. Two have blue cotton and three have pink cotton. Comes in a bag with string attached, ready to be hung by thumbtack (not included).

I’m going to assume these aren’t edible. Given the paint and all. If you’re having a Halloween party* this year, these would be perfect!

Thanks Adam! <— that blog is often NSFW/kids, but is one of my favorite blogs. You’d best have a good sick sense of humour if you go over there!

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*not recommended as a baby shower gift. Pregnant women have enough nightmares. I once dreamed I was breastfeeding a cat. My nipples curl into my boobs every time I think about it. Cat teeth are quite unforgiving, I would imagine. Meow!

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These Creep Me Out More Than Any Crafts We’ve Ever Posted

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:07:13 +0000

Maybe it’s that I’m reminded of Little Orphan Annie the Sequel, the one where all the kids starve to death because Mrs. Hannigan drank up all the money. It’s a Hard Knock Life. At least it must be if these are worth 40 bucks.

Thanks Jannypie!

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Not the same, but still fun:

It’s Truly a Pleasure…

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 02:55:42 +0000

Clearly I am missing something here. Us? A guilty pleasure? I think it’s more like that trainwreck you can’t tear yourself from no matter how hard you try. Craftastrophe is the equivalent of toilet paper stuck to your shoe while you walk around the hottest most trendiest bar in the city. It’s the spinach stuck between your teeth when you smile at The Guy you’ve been crushing on For-Evah!

We’ve been a little slow around here (As if you haven’t noticed. Seriously? The emails begging for posts? So awesome!), we’ve broken our feed (Can’t seem to get that bitch back online. Feedburner is a red-headed step child. I’d so like to give it a beat down.), and yet you’re still here.

No I am not crying. I have something stuck in my eye. And I’m still sick, leemeealone.

So really, it’s not like I should even bother asking since you’ve done so much already just by hanging around while we get our poop together; but I’m going to. I’m going to ask you for one more teenie tiny little thing.

A vote.

Since we got our butts beaten so badly in the other award thingie. No matter. It’s not like we didn’t have some stiff competition – like um, ETSY! Seriously. No one has a chance against a gem like that.

Especially one that showcases beauts like this:

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I think of both a neti pot and tea when I see this: and that’s not very comforting. Not in the least.

Can I just say that I worry that the refuse from the nostril opposite the neti pot would drip in my mouth and I ain’t havin’ none of that.

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Um. What the what?!

That how you Craftastrophe lovers make my boogers feel. Like dancing.

Git down wit yer bad self.

So, if you have a moment, please stop by and vote DAILY for Craftastrophe at the Social Luxe Lounge.

Click the image at the top of the post (OR THIS LINK), or the one in the sidebar (OR THIS LINK) and help us beat the pants off those other wannabe Guilty Pleasures.

HALP!

Some more like this one:

Chicken Nugget Stone

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 26 May 2009 00:29:48 +0000

This isn’t actually a chicken nugget, but it plays one on television.

From the listing:

Citrine is known as a “success” stone because it is said in folklore to promote success and abundance, especially in business and commerce. Placing a cluster or crystal of citrine in ones cash box has produced more income for the merchant. It not only assists the merchant in acquiring wealth, but helps to maintain a state of wealth. Its lore also says that it enhances mental clarity, confidence, happiness and will power. Citrine is purported to bring good fortune, sometimes in very unexpected ways. Citrine is also a good general protection stone according to crystal healing lore. It is said to alleviate depression and self-doubt, and diminish irrational mood swings due to the effect of mental clarity it has. In traditional folklore and crystal healing lore it is said to aid the digestion and eliminate nightmares that disturb one’s sleep.

Do you want fries with that?

Thanks StumpTown Crafts!

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Not the same, but still fun:

VIDEO: Mona Greasa

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:08:18 +0000

Look what Phil Hansen created with the grease of hamburgers:

{via this is freaking ridiculous}
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I’d Much Rather Have a Bucket of Fried Chicken, Thanks.

Karen Sugarpants — Fri, 01 May 2009 19:05:32 +0000

After hearing a radio commercial for the new Kentucky Fried Chicken campaign for Mother’s Day (Moms Night Off!), Sam turned to me and said, “If someone gave me a bucket of chicken for Mother’s Day, I’d rip his member off, shove it down his throat and pull it out his cornholio.”

Sam has issues.

Course if someone gave me THIS for Mother’s Day, it might elicit the same reaction. Here’s the backstory:

It all started one Christmas as an innocent joke. Leo bought Kitty some gold earrings, and just to see what would happen, he attached a toenail to each one. Kitty thought they must be shark’s teeth or shells, and she thought that they were beautiful. She wore them all Christmas day before he ‘fessed up to the true nature of the bling on the earrings. Luckily for him, she thought it was hilarious, as did the rest of the family. (I personally find it hard to believe that Kitty didn’t recognize those toenails – I mean, this was pre-painting and pre-sculpting eras of toenail art, and they really kinda look like toenails to me).

It got worse. Leo kept making creations out of his toenails and giving them to Kitty as gifts. Now they are all displayed in a curio cabinet in their home.

Thanks Jana!

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