Someone will have to explain this to me. Plastic “brass knuckles” decorated with Hello, Kitty. Why, my people, why? So you can very gently punch someone while sharing happy cuteness? Because you want to live the Thug Life while you live the Kawaii life, too? Help.

{Source} $21.99 and a two-drink minimum

I’m sorry. I’ll find something cute and furry tomorrow, I promise. Or not.

What room do you suggest putting it in, and why? Show your work
{Source} Only $25. Makes a great gift for that one sister-in-law you can’t stand

I don’t often suggest do-it-yourself projects. Sometimes Craftastrophe turns into that, like when intrepid reader Carl Strauser decided to make the Scary Monkey.

But generally, we leave it up to others to make our mistakes for us. Not this time, kiddos. This is a hands-on craft. And legs-on. And…well, you figure out what else is on. You use this, which involves canvas, paint and plastic sheeting:

To get this, or something like it, depending on how you…do it.

You can put it over your bed and say “Honey, remember the last time we had sex? No? It was when we made that painting!”

{Source} $60 and a pre-written fake explanation for your mother-in-law

H/T Kristy from She Just Walks Around With It

…your giant simian arms, your furry jutting breasts, and especially your razor-sharp toenails. You’re welcome!

This is Raquel. Her hobbies include disco dancing and chasing stray cats. Her turn ons include men with low self esteem and daddy issues. Raquel was acually modelled after an old neighbor of mine but if you see her don’t let her know.

{Source} $200 and a lifetime of keeping a secret about the artist’s neighbor

Sometimes I just want to pat crafters on the hand and say “There, there. It’s time to take a break.” Step away from the bead boxes.

{Source} $30 worth of beading frenzy