Just in time for Easter, a cake that takes the symbols of the season to a disturbing new level.

A lamb cake. A cake that is meant to be decapitated. And then it bleeds jam.

Happy Easter, kids!

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Suebob does not think desserts should scare the children.

Hey you guys! I was pulling the plastic flamingos out of my front yard to make this headdress…is that two words? Head dress? I don’t know, you guys this ain’t a dress for your head but it sure is pretty! So, anyway, you guys I was pulling the pink plastic flamingos out of my front yard to make this “piece of art” when I realized…This art oughta be photographed in front of MY favorite piece of art. I present to you guys my totally rad headdress, photographed in front of the painting that John Wayne Gacy sent to me as a thank you for the many erotic letters I sent to him about my clown fetish. Etsy made me take down the erotic poem I originally had with this listing, so I had to change it to this:

This piece is a one of a kind. Where do I start. It is a headband with a huge bow on top made of pink, orange, and green florescent tulle, with a doll’s head in the middle. The doll has a sequened crown and there are two flamingos on each side of the bow. The headband is covered in blue tinsel material. It is not heavy though and will not weigh your head down. Anywhere you wear this to, you will be noticed. It is truly a piece of art and this is the only one I have ever made like it.

What I didn’t say is that this piece is meant to be worn with the lingerie that I made with the melted barbie heads on the nips.

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Thanks, Cari!

flutter writes on her personal blog byflutter, sometimes.

I was so excited when I came across the thing I planned to blog for my first Craftastrophe post.  It was horrific.  It was gross.  It was the kind of inexplicable mistake that is the definition of this site.

So imagine my surprise when I finally sat down to compose, and out of left field came this thing’s ugly step-sister.  This thing’s ugly, naked, wart-faced, hunch-backed troll of a step-sister, barreling down on me at top speed with seven bloody, sparkly tampons clutched in her fat, waxy talons.

I give you the “Absolutely Genius Tampon Windchimes Essence of Life Windchimes.”

In addition to having a title that just won’t quit, these wind chimes promise to “remind you why being a woman is so wonderful” (because the best part of any woman’s month is when red glitter pours out of her lady bits).

The chimes feature sturdy bamboo craftsmanship, “100% real tampons,” and “[a] vintage jewelry peice…showcasing the essence of woman.”

Apparently, the “essence of woman” is that cheap necklace you wore in third grade until its fake chain started turning your neck green.

Sure, you could pay $15 for plain ol’ bamboo chimes that clink and, you know, chime in the wind–OR you could pay $25 (plus shipping) for these!

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Renee finds more appropriate uses for glitter at The Brisk Blog.

Ya so there’s a whole culture of people who farm themselves for Human Ivory.  Want to take a wild guess as to what Human Ivory is?  Here are some hints:

(more…)

From the listing:

I made these sweet little concrete feet. They are great as book ends, and paper weights, as decor on a table, and also to put under flower pots so the roots don’t rot!!

I don’t want my pots to rot.

Sam is always telling me I drive like a Granny, maybe instead of a lead foot (like hers), I could buy one of these.

You know, to kick her in the mouth.  Then she’ll stop calling me Grannypanties.

Thanks Cain!

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