Craftastrophe » Stranger Than a Duck Wearing a Thong

You Shouldn’t Have

suebob — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 13:40:12 +0000

This is suggested as a baby shower gift, to be used as a garden decoration.

Isn’t the last thing a hugely pregnant woman needs is a visual reminder that she’s hugely pregnant? Just wondering.

{Source} $40, but a gift card to Target would be nice, too.

Not the same, but still fun:

Barbie’s Crack House!

suebob — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 15:18:22 +0000

Just what every little girl needs to get her start on a business empire!

This is a little pile of professionally bailed bricks of pure Columbian cocaine, a perfect addition to your child’s dollhouse or school diorama. (You could also put them inside your Tijuana-themed terrarium.)

Attention: There are no drugs inside these packages. It’s white clay. If you snort it, you’re on your own.

{Source} H/T Elizabeth Only $18 dollars, a savings of $5 million, more or less, over the real thing (don’t ask me, I haven’t priced kilos of cocaine lately)

Not the same, but still fun:

Rolling My Eyes

suebob — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 23:46:06 +0000

Multimedia portrait in paint and…ping pong balls. That’s ONE way to liven up the family room.

{Source} Less than $10. Get one while they last.

Not the same, but still fun:

Something borrowed, something blue. Not camo. Blue.

suebob — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 15:37:01 +0000

Hello, ladies? There’s a time for camouflage and a time for…anything else. Like on your wedding day.

Of course, you could wear them on other occasions. Hookups in the duck blind. Battlefield pole dances. Hit me with your best ideas in the comments.
{Source} $27.99 or will trade for bullets.

Not the same, but still fun:

Everyone Who Has Every Been on Craftastrophe Needs This

suebob — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:53:07 +0000

I’m just saying these people need some kind of help. This could be exactly the thing. Of course, so could powerful anti-psychotic medications.

A tarot magic spell to ensure Etsy shop success! (If you have an eBay shop, you’re SOL).

- A Video of the spell as it’s being performed live by me. I will use tarot cards and a candle along with a ritual written to your specific needs.
After I cast your spell I will stay at the altar and meditate on your spell as the candle burns.
(Also a .JPG)

{Source} Just $25. Cheaper than Haldol!

Not the same, but still fun:

Nurses: in case you get tired of comfy cotton scrubs

suebob — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 13:00:30 +0000

I haven’t seen a nurse uniform like this in any medical setting I’ve ever been in. This is from Australia. I guess they have a different kind of medical system down there.

{Source} $498 Australian, petticoat included

Some more like this one:

Super Pregnant, Super Gross (Slightly NSFW)

Renee — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 18:00:33 +0000

My friend Stephanie is super pregnant. With her baby shower coming up this month, and her due date growing ever closer, I’ve got babies on the brain. And (as evidenced by last week’s bloody onesie) that’s not a good thing, because the craft world has proven a scary place for infants.

Take today’s monstrosity, for example:

Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to figure out what that was if I were you either. But read on…

Aren’t you so bummed you clicked the “Read More” link?

Pregnant Woman… expressed in a marbled, frosted pink. I have designed her in such a way that you are able to “peek” at the tiny baby inside her. Accented with swirls of vine, leaves and roses. So sweet!

I’m not sure “sweet” is exactly the word I’d use for this.

“Disturbing.”

“Horrific.”

Even simple old “tacky.”

But never, ever sweet.

{source}

Renee is glad pregnant women don’t glitter.

Some more like this one:

Has anyone seen my salad?

flutter — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 05:52:47 +0000

I could have sworn I left it right here on the counter. Where did it go?

Oh, there it is. Now if I could just find my croutons….

Sourcealicious

Not the same, but still fun:

Quick! Spot me $474.82*, please?

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 01:37:28 +0000

I am completely enamoured.

I’ve stumbled upon the Holy Land of Awesome, you guys.

I just can’t stop giggling. Her grin is infectious.

I’ve never seen someone so elated to have what appears to be fluorescent green underwear on their head.

I bet if my granny panties and a durag made babies they would resemble this.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an entire Etsy store to buy out.

And if you think I’m going to let someone get their hands on these before me, you’re crazier than a bag of cats!

{source}

Seriously, I need $474.82. If not for me, do it for the love of green underpants.

*Yes, I realize the hat underpants are 14.99, but I WANT THE ENTIRE STORE.

Not the same, but still fun:

It’s Not Like You Have Anything Better to Spend $500 On

Renee — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 17:25:04 +0000

God dammit, what the fuck is this?

Is that another animal hat?

Is your head supposed to be going into its ass, or coming out of it?

Wait, what?

It’s not just a hat?

Alice is a fluffyAustralian Koala wearable puppet hat. Wearing her own Trashion hat, made from ‘Plarn’.

Totally unique.
One Of A Kind.

A ‘double take’ hat-puppet,it was my entry in the 2008 Alice Springs Beanie Festival’s International Competition.

‘Alice’ won a close second in the People’s Choice Award, narrowly missing first by 4 votes.

Alice has her own hat also, which is crocheted out of a recycled rain poncho, this attaches on over her ears, and can be taken off, or put back on
With your hand in the head area, you can manipulate her mouth to ‘eat’ the leaf.

Wait, now I’m just more confused!

Since when is there an international beanie festival?

What the fuck is plarn?

And why would I ever pay $500 for a puppet to wear on my head?!

Dammit, Australia, you have won the international crazy crafter competition once again.

{source}

Renee likes plarn on toast.