Next trip to the groomer, make a point of telling them NO. LION. MANE. MULLETS.

Seriously? That shit borders on animal abuse.

{source}

From the listing:

… I feel as if I’ve only begun my exploration about the realm of the half-round. Oh yes, more iterations definitely to come.

Can I just tell you? I AM GIDDY WITH ANTICIPATION.

Yes. I had to yell. I AM THAT EXCITED!!

Oh, you think I’m joking, don’t you?

I am so NOT joking.

Mmmm. MEAT.

This could only be better if it where Mac n’ Cheese Loaf instead of Olive Loaf.

Pass the mustard!

These are By. Far. the best shawls I’ve seen. I am so over the pashmina and all about the Corndog Cape Shawl.

{source}

In college I owned a lime green jacket made of vinyl. I thought I was the hottest thing around.

Yes. Vinyl. Lime green. I can’t tell you how badly I wish I had a picture for you.

It was 2001. Yes. I. KNOW.

My then (sexual relations) buddy thought it was amazing, HOT, and totally sexy.

He’s now my husband thankyouverymuch.

He was right about one thing. Totally hot. Like sweaty just breathing hot. Sweat dripping down your back hot. Don’t-even-bother-dancing-or-you-will-cook-from-the-inside-out HOT.

Kinda like Ross’ leather pants.

I can’t watch that without giggling uncontrollably.

I have no idea how to properly segue this so I’ll just say: Hot. Boobies.

What? It’s late. I’m tired. Suck it. *snort*

Um. Wha?

Uh. Okay.

Wait. Wait! It gets better! I swear!

A complete unitard of latex with inflatable bewbs.

Now that? THAT’S HOT.

(P.S. In the crotch area? There’s some metal-ish beads / pins / clasps. Don’t ask what that’s all about. I suspect some access point. You know? Like a spanx hole?

{source} — The shop has some um, other random fetish items if you’re so inclined. Consider yourself warned.

Clearly I am missing something here. Us? A guilty pleasure? I think it’s more like that trainwreck you can’t tear yourself from no matter how hard you try. Craftastrophe is the equivalent of toilet paper stuck to your shoe while you walk around the hottest most trendiest bar in the city. It’s the spinach stuck between your teeth when you smile at The Guy you’ve been crushing on For-Evah!

We’ve been a little slow around here (As if you haven’t noticed. Seriously? The emails begging for posts? So awesome!), we’ve broken our feed (Can’t seem to get that bitch back online. Feedburner is a red-headed step child. I’d so like to give it a beat down.), and yet you’re still here.

No I am not crying. I have something stuck in my eye. And I’m still sick, leemeealone.

So really, it’s not like I should even bother asking since you’ve done so much already just by hanging around while we get our poop together; but I’m going to. I’m going to ask you for one more teenie tiny little thing.

A vote.

Since we got our butts beaten so badly in the other award thingie. No matter. It’s not like we didn’t have some stiff competition – like um, ETSY! Seriously. No one has a chance against a gem like that.

Especially one that showcases beauts like this:

{image source}

I think of both a neti pot and tea when I see this: and that’s not very comforting. Not in the least.

Can I just say that I worry that the refuse from the nostril opposite the neti pot would drip in my mouth and I ain’t havin’ none of that.

{image source}

Um. What the what?!

That how you Craftastrophe lovers make my boogers feel. Like dancing.

Git down wit yer bad self.

So, if you have a moment, please stop by and vote DAILY for Craftastrophe at the Social Luxe Lounge.

Click the image at the top of the post (OR THIS LINK), or the one in the sidebar (OR THIS LINK) and help us beat the pants off those other wannabe Guilty Pleasures.

HALP!

HALP!

HALP!

First off, your comments on Guess That Mess! are hilarious! I totally love them, thank you for playing along. It was so great, we’re contemplating making it a regular feature here at Craftastrophe.

And without further ado, the Mess? Though I much perfer some of your answers, the jacket it made of synthetic doll hair, Spanish Moss, and jute.

I had to google the later since I have NO idea what the heck ‘jute’ is.

Okay, so I googled Spanish Moss as well.

A jacket? If the sleeves where only a touch longer they could be wrapped around the body and fastened behind to resemble another kind of jacket.

Justine’s comment made me spit coffee all over my computer:

Ummm – a horrifically misguided attempt at making fake vomit?

A sweater or coat made from shed dog fur? With nicotine-stained glue-gun applique?

A loofah and mucus sculpture?

A coat made of human hair? (Please don’t be pubic hair, please don’t be pubic hair…)

And you! to! can own this jacket for a mere $525!

Maybe for that price they’ll toss in the skinned doll heads? Hey, you could ask!

Or how about this?

I don’t know what’s funnier: the fact that I actually wretched at the sight of this or it’s title, “Not Yet Titled”.

Oh, and this one? $1,300. The Stained Industrial Elastic? $3,500.

Yes. Yes it is.

Why didn’t I become an artist?

{source: hair jacket, elastic band art, “Not Yet Titled“}