Craftastrophe » You Can Stop Making Crafts Now

Two Thumbs..

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:30:57 +0000

Who has two thumbs and a shitty shirt?

This girl.

Well, not really this girl, because dude? Did you see that shirt? Why the brass knuckles? It’s like the motherfuckin’ A Team all over again.

I pity da foo.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Ever have those annoying seat partners that never shut up? Like, NEVER?!

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:00:00 +0000

I’d use it to keep my head propped upright; or stick it on the talker next to me and blow it up to the point where they could no longer breathe talk.

Either way: $170.00 Blow up neck warmer / brace FTW!

Thanks Cari for showing us this store!

{source}

Some more like this one:

Blog-o-versary: A look back, Craftastrophe style

sam {temptingmama} — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:00:37 +0000

Can you believe it’s been a year since we started sharing the wealth of awesomeness that is bad crafts?

An entire year!

Who knew that when we began this site on that early November morning with a vagina wallet we’d be sharing the best of the worst.

But seriously?! They’re not always the worst. In fact, I’ve developed a penchant for a wide variety of Teh Kitsch, some of which we’ve featured here and over the past year I have had to fight the urge to buy these items quite a few times. Not because I don’t need them or want them but because I fear that the shop owner may actually send me a pile of poop instead.

This site has brought us m any opportunities to share with you some of the freakiest stuff you’ve sent us, it’s also brought us one freakishly amazing toddlerpede created by Jon Beinart which now adorns our header.

So thank you!

Thank you for a fabulous first year and many of these great finds!

Each gallery image is linked to their respective post where you will find their credits. Thanks again readers! We’re indebted to you! Keep sending then crafts and we’ll keep providing the snark! Craftastrophic kisses to you!

Not the same, but still fun:

Mattel is going to wish they thought of this

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:00:26 +0000

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you – Modified Barbie™.

Modified Barbie™ has had her lower extremities replaced with vertebrae giving her the appearance of a half eaten mermaid majestic, and awe inspiring creation.

Modified Barbie™ comes with a string around her neck to hang her with…

This is a modified barbie doll sculpture. her waist and legs have been replaced with vertebrae and is somewhat mutant fish-esque. the bones are of baked and painted scupty held together with waxed thick thread. oh, there’s a piece of brass in the links. her claws are made of sculpty and plumber’s putty. nipples also glazed sculpty. the torso, head, face, and light blonde hair are as found. she’s 15″long and hangs from a string around her neck. adorable barbiecritter. not really to be played with as perhaps somewhat fragile but definite display item. took many days to build. it’s the first of a series in progress. i’ll sign a confimation card to go with it. oh, the price? uh, $40.00. oh, don’t eat this or swing it around either. shipping is $6.00 in the u.s.

Ah, damn. I was TOTALLY sold on Modified Barbie™ until they said I couldn’t eat it…

Thanks @whymomdrinksrum

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

What a Christmas Angel is really thinking…

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:18:19 +0000

THE TREE GOES WHERE?!

Thanks Kathy!
{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

What Your First Year as a Nursing Student Might Smell Like

Karen Sugarpants — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 13:00:39 +0000

Beer scented urine candle, of course!

(why would anyone want a beer scented candle? I have a beer scented husband!)

Thanks Angela!

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Anatomy – by a serial killer maniac {NSFW}

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:00:29 +0000

Now, what I’m curious about? All the appendages are removed except for one.

But… Uh…. it kinda looks like an afterthought.

Maybe the ‘artist’ was all like: “Hmmmm… something’s missing. Oh! I know!!”

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Bring the Ocean to Your…Wrist?

Karen Sugarpants — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 11:00:49 +0000

I’m sure this was a lot of work.

Oh who am I kidding? I have no idea what’s involved in felting. I’ve seen enough felting disasters here not to care, either. Goodness, remember CHOPS? (Who could forget?)

Because THIS? Would get me laughed out of the Country Club. Not that I belong to the Country Club, but yanno, if I did.

Now I want some deep-fried calamari. Which cost WAY less than this $325 bracelet. That’s a lot of clams. Heh.

{source} <—- I will say the rest of this Etsy shop is PURTY. Seriously.

Not the same, but still fun:

Creepy Helen

Karen Sugarpants — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 11:00:39 +0000

That hair looks just a little too real, my precious.

And yet, Creepy Helen looks a lot more sane than Jinx!

Reminds me of the video The Bloggess posted the other day:

*shudder*

{sources: Helen, Jinx}

Not the same, but still fun:

Poptastrophe: Miley Cyrus Didn’t Leave A Tip, Media Confused

Karen Sugarpants — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:59:55 +0000

I swear. Some media outlets just make it too easy to make fun of them. Apparently, Miley Cyrus picked up dinner at Outback Steakhouse the other night. And that should have been the end of it. Except it wasn’t. Because Miley {gasp} “angered the staff” when she “failed to leave a tip on the $70 bill”.

“She pulled an envelope of money out and handed a $100 bill over, but she kept all the change.”

Reports immediately circulated that “Miley Cyrus Makes $25 Million and Thinks She’s Better Than You!”, “Miley Cyrus Gets The Best of Both Worlds!” “Miley Cyrus Makes Mickey Mouse Cry!”.

Miley’s spokesperson issued a response claiming that Miley “made a genuine mistake in failing to add a service charge. Miley didn’t know she was supposed to
tip unless she was eating inside.”

First of all, Outback? Second, I once left a bitchy waitress a note that said “Here’s a tip: fix your hair”. Third, let me explain takeout. According to initial reports Miley and her sister, Brandi, picked up dinner themselves and then ate it outside the restaurant. You know, without a server. Like, to go. As in, to leave.

If I were Miley’s spokesperson my response would have been a little less…diplomatic. Fortunately for you I get paid to be a smartass.

Craftastrophe » You Can Stop Making Crafts Now

Two Thumbs..

Not the same, but still fun:

Ever have those annoying seat partners that never shut up? Like, NEVER?!

Some more like this one:

Blog-o-versary: A look back, Craftastrophe style

Not the same, but still fun:

Mattel is going to wish they thought of this

Not the same, but still fun:

What a Christmas Angel is really thinking…

Not the same, but still fun:

What Your First Year as a Nursing Student Might Smell Like

Not the same, but still fun:

Anatomy – by a serial killer maniac {NSFW}

Not the same, but still fun:

Bring the Ocean to Your…Wrist?

Not the same, but still fun:

Creepy Helen

Not the same, but still fun:

Poptastrophe: Miley Cyrus Didn’t Leave A Tip, Media Confused

Proof after the jump…

Not the same, but still fun: