“Honey, I got you something really special for Valentine’s Day this year.”
“Is it chocolates?”
“No, better.”
“Is it roses?”
“Better.”
“Diamonds?”
“Way better.”
“Well what is it already?”
“A pretty in lavender candy doll.“
Why waste that $45 on another piece of jewelry? Get her what she really wants this year: grandma’s toilet paper caddy with a skirt made of reception desk mints. It’s the key to any girl’s heart!
Are you looking for that last bit of charm for a newly-refinished room?
Maybe you’ve thought, “This room needs a little life, but not another houseplant.” Or perhaps you’re dreaming of a huge, hulking decorative goody which, when in use, will be impossible to move.
“Harder to move than my 100 gallon aquarium?” Yes, dear reader. Much harder to move than your 100 gallon aquarium.
When you install this piano/aqaurium (pianoquarium?) in your house you’ll be the envy of the block, and well on your way to becoming a hoarder.
And to commemorate this momentous occasion, I’ve found not one, not two, not three (which would make more sense) but FOUR awesomely bad crafts for your tastrophe, all of which feature the number 30 in their titles.
Photographed beside a wood stove to give you a better idea of its dimensions, this wreath of old bar trash promises to be “a great addition to any house that it hangs in.” And for $10,000, it’d better be!
I’m not talking about the royal “we” here, either. Multiple people were questioned as to just what the hell this thing was. The general consensus is she *might* be a key holder. She also *might* make me feel a little more confident about my thighs.
As per usual, any description I could write couldn’t possibly hold a candle to the that of the artist.
Susie is a wild child and she’s been awaiting the arrival of summer for what seems like years! She’s ready! She can feel her hair blowing in the wind,the sand under her toes, the sun on her face. She’s got her bikini on and she’s ready to pop a cold one on the beach while she watches the boys go by! Not that she’s superficial or anything….. She just likes what she likes!
Susie is made of a daguerreotype case of red embossed velvet and leather, a brass ornamental piece of something (?) is her head and hair, and her legs are finials. Her arms are an old hinge and she has a lock and keys in her hand. Her “girls” are bottle caps and her thong is a copper triangle used in old time stair building. Her neck is a brass collar from an vintage lamp.
Fore the record? While there are many words I would consider having permanently written on my “girls,” “jurk” is not one of them.
