New! Jimmy Choo! Because nothing says Choo like used beaten up shoes with a feather glued to it.

Get your pennies out! All 7,500 of them.

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Are you f*cking kidding me?  What is this crap?  I’m all for recycling, but once it’s in the bin, that sh*it is for the mice to chew on.

Besides, don’t notebooks already come with cardboard covers?

From the listing:

Perfect for recording life’s events and/or as a sketch book.

Life’s events?  If my life included making notebooks from Eggo boxes (not that I eat Eggo’s, that kife will kill you), I would not spend the time writing it down!

Wait.  You drink Coors Light?

That’s explains eeeeverything.

Because you must be drunk on douchebeer to think you can charge $68 bucks for a necklace made from PAINT CHIPS.

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Karen and I would love to wish our Americus friends a very Happy 4th of July! I hope you’re enjoying your hot dogs, hamburgers and family gatherings.

(Psssst. Today is also Karen’s birthday!)

Happy Birthday Karen!!

When it comes to the fourth of July, I always think of the Team America: World Police theme song (if you click the link please beware that it’s explicit and NSFW, old people, or most family gatherings).

(It’s likely entirely inappropriate seeing as I am Canadian and it’s a parody of America but! I mean no disrespect, it’s just funny and makes me laugh.)

(This site hasn’t ever been known for being appropriate or non-judgmental, has it? I mean, you have read it, right?)

(If you have a moment, I highly recommend reading the comments on the YouTube thread. Hilarious!)

And if you’re so inclined, you could sport this beaut to the fireworks show this evening!

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Maybe a new resin Barbie face necklace?

From the listing:

For this pendant, I used the bluest eyes, the reddest lips, and the whitest cap I could find!

This pendant measures two inches long and 1.5 inches wide, and half an inch deep. Shipped on black rubber tubing with a little black cap for the toggle clasp. (It would probably look a lot better on a gold chain.)

(I always laugh when a crafter states that they could have something different to make their item more appealing but chose not to.)

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And now, the grand finale! The grand poobah!

If this isn’t upcycled I don’t know what is!

From the listing:

This is a ONE OF A KIND design!! Here is a very patriotic Uncle Sam holding his American Flag!! His face is a copy from an antique picture from my collection! His body is made from vintage silvery gray and sky blue chenille stems ~ a vintage silver Christmas light bulb reflector is behind his head to add some holiday sparkle ~ blue tinsel pipe cleaner hanger!

(P.S. I think “vintage chenille stems” is code for “used pipe cleaners”)

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Have a great 4th of July America!

Love your Crazy Canuck friends!

Creepilicious!

From the listing:

At the moment I am making these rings on a commission basis as I only have limited stock of these vintage ‘blinking’ dolls eyes.

When the Eye is held vertical it is ‘Awake’ and when it is horizontal it is ‘Asleep’.  I guess these are circa 1940s – and they are very cool!  So, when you wear your ‘Eye’ as a ring, your hand movement will make the Eye blink….

This is an example of the type of ring I am making.  It is adjustable and made from solid sterling silver.  The silver is textured and oxidized to bring out a pattern in the metal.

The Eye is set in resin – which can be coloured to your requirements.  This particular Eye Ring also has fine silver ‘tears’ – which are polished tiny fine silver beads handmade by the Thai Karen Hills Tribe (purchased Fair Trade).

An Eye Ring like this one retails at around US$ 131.

One-of-a-Kind and very unique!

I’ll say!  I kind of like it though.  I used to have a doll that closed her eyes when you laid her down.  That is, until I left her in the bottom of the toy box for months and one eye was stuck open  and the other had no lashes.  Now that was creepilicious!

Thanks Kristen!

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Now that I have sufficiently grossed you out with my last post, I wanted to show you how you can earn some sweet cash with the socks you’re going to wreck while growing your very own crafting toenails.  Uncle Leo? Listen up.

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