Craftastrophe » Recyled Rejects

Somehow I don’t think Jimmy Choo would approve

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:48:30 +0000

New! Jimmy Choo! Because nothing says Choo like used beaten up shoes with a feather glued to it.

Get your pennies out! All 7,500 of them.

Not the same, but still fun:

Look What You Can Do With Your Recycle Bin!

Karen Sugarpants — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:09:11 +0000

Are you f*cking kidding me? What is this crap? I’m all for recycling, but once it’s in the bin, that sh*it is for the mice to chew on.

Besides, don’t notebooks already come with cardboard covers?

From the listing:

Perfect for recording life’s events and/or as a sketch book.

Life’s events? If my life included making notebooks from Eggo boxes (not that I eat Eggo’s, that kife will kill you), I would not spend the time writing it down!

Wait. You drink Coors Light?

That’s explains eeeeverything.

Because you must be drunk on douchebeer to think you can charge $68 bucks for a necklace made from PAINT CHIPS.

Or $58 bucks for this:

I AM SHOCKED AT YOUR BEHAVIOUR, CRAFTER. SHOCKED.

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Not the same, but still fun:

America! (Frig) Yeah!

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 01:04:43 +0000

Karen and I would love to wish our Americus friends a very Happy 4th of July! I hope you’re enjoying your hot dogs, hamburgers and family gatherings.

(Psssst. Today is also Karen’s birthday!)

Happy Birthday Karen!!

When it comes to the fourth of July, I always think of the Team America: World Police theme song (if you click the link please beware that it’s explicit and NSFW, old people, or most family gatherings).

(It’s likely entirely inappropriate seeing as I am Canadian and it’s a parody of America but! I mean no disrespect, it’s just funny and makes me laugh.)

(This site hasn’t ever been known for being appropriate or non-judgmental, has it? I mean, you have read it, right?)

(If you have a moment, I highly recommend reading the comments on the YouTube thread. Hilarious!)

And if you’re so inclined, you could sport this beaut to the fireworks show this evening!

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Maybe a new resin Barbie face necklace?

From the listing:

For this pendant, I used the bluest eyes, the reddest lips, and the whitest cap I could find!

This pendant measures two inches long and 1.5 inches wide, and half an inch deep. Shipped on black rubber tubing with a little black cap for the toggle clasp. (It would probably look a lot better on a gold chain.)

(I always laugh when a crafter states that they could have something different to make their item more appealing but chose not to.)

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And now, the grand finale! The grand poobah!

If this isn’t upcycled I don’t know what is!

From the listing:

This is a ONE OF A KIND design!! Here is a very patriotic Uncle Sam holding his American Flag!! His face is a copy from an antique picture from my collection! His body is made from vintage silvery gray and sky blue chenille stems ~ a vintage silver Christmas light bulb reflector is behind his head to add some holiday sparkle ~ blue tinsel pipe cleaner hanger!

(P.S. I think “vintage chenille stems” is code for “used pipe cleaners”)

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Have a great 4th of July America!

Love your Crazy Canuck friends!

Some more like this one:

Eye Have Got You Wrapped Around My Finger

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 11:33:36 +0000

Creepilicious!

From the listing:

At the moment I am making these rings on a commission basis as I only have limited stock of these vintage ‘blinking’ dolls eyes.

When the Eye is held vertical it is ‘Awake’ and when it is horizontal it is ‘Asleep’. I guess these are circa 1940s – and they are very cool! So, when you wear your ‘Eye’ as a ring, your hand movement will make the Eye blink….

This is an example of the type of ring I am making. It is adjustable and made from solid sterling silver. The silver is textured and oxidized to bring out a pattern in the metal.

The Eye is set in resin – which can be coloured to your requirements. This particular Eye Ring also has fine silver ‘tears’ – which are polished tiny fine silver beads handmade by the Thai Karen Hills Tribe (purchased Fair Trade).

An Eye Ring like this one retails at around US$ 131.

One-of-a-Kind and very unique!

I’ll say! I kind of like it though. I used to have a doll that closed her eyes when you laid her down. That is, until I left her in the bottom of the toy box for months and one eye was stuck open and the other had no lashes. Now that was creepilicious!

Thanks Kristen!

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Some more like this one:

More Opportunity for Toenail Artists Worldwide! (Aren’t You Excited?)

Karen Sugarpants — Sat, 02 May 2009 21:45:36 +0000

Now that I have sufficiently grossed you out with my last post, I wanted to show you how you can earn some sweet cash with the socks you’re going to wreck while growing your very own crafting toenails. Uncle Leo? Listen up.

All you have to do is be proficient enough with a needle and thread to craft your self a rabbit doll. The rabbit is a perfect pick because you can hide your toenail holes with her ears and no one will be the wiser!

The best part? You can sell her for THREE HUNDRED BUCKS!

No, I’m not kidding.

Not a toenail artist? I’m sure you can find pantloads of socks at your local laundromat. Good luck!

Thanks Lily!

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Some more like this one:

Yo Dude, Wanna Come Over?

Karen Sugarpants — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 10:00:51 +0000

Ya so my girlfriend and I were bored one night and we had just come back from her knitting club. I was rolling up some ditchweed and she was all, “hey baby, let’s pull the slipcover off the couch and tye dye it, man! ”

She was so stoked man. How could I say no?

This is the girl of my dreams, man. She’s gonna have my kids, man. She makes me this toast in the toaster oven man, and it has cheese man, all melted and perfect man. She’s the Cheech to my Chong, man.

Check it out, man:

Thanks Aromy, man!

{source, man.}

Some more like this one:

This Is Why I Am More Or Less Leery Of Upcycling

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 18:54:53 +0000

Upcycling can have it’s advantages. Sure, there are defintely some items, that would otherwise be classified as waste, which can be reused and create something magnificent.

Upcycling and “art” is a very slipperly slope. Very slippery.

An artist could use their talents to create some truly wonderful projects from recycled items. They could make something truly stunning like this:

Which – HELLO?! I want.

This dress, created from 100% recycled ties is simply gorgeous.

This artist / designer needs to help out this person, because this? This is NOT what you should be doing with your time or recyclables:

In case you missed that, it’s a CHAIR.

MADE. OUT. OF. HAIR.

My friend gave me an old barber chair she found behind her building, and I knew it had to be covered in hair extensions.

One question.

You knew it had to be covered in HAIR. EXTENSIONS?

Srsly?

Because when I see I chair, I know I have to SIT on it. I know that it better be comfortable. I know that it should be sturdy.

But covered in HAIR? Um…..

I don’t care if the hair extensions aren’t real hair. That’s really not the issue. The issue is that this barber chair is COVERED. IN. HAIR.

P.S. I feel incredibly bad making an example out of that tie dress in the same post as a FREAKIN’ HAIR CHAIR.

P.S.S. Would someone PLEASE buy me that tie dress?!

P.S.S.S. Pretty please?

Thanks to Mary for sending this in! This is what Mary sent in her email which made me spit coffee on my laptop. Thanks again Mary, I’ll be sending the technician’s bill your way my friend.

It’s a barber chair covered in weaves. Lots of weaves. Like someone had skinned Cousin It and all of his hairy relatives, friends, buddies, and sexual partners and made a chair.

{ tie dress source }

{Freakin’ hair chair source }

Some more like this one:

Doily Couture

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 16:31:06 +0000

Last year my Granny gave me a bunch of doilies that were made by my Great Grandmother, in the hopes I would take care of them. I have, but only because I’m not using them. They are safely packed away – for what, I’ll never know. I’ll tell you one thing though, I will never fashion a dress out of them.

Thanks to reader Candace, and the geniuses at Etsy who FEATURED this, we have blog fodder this morning.

Behold, the WTF Doily Dress, priced at $225:

It would be cute if, say, the seller tried to sew it to actually LOOK like a dress, used matching doilies, and maybe stopped taking copius amounts of drugs. Just sayin’.

How to really do the doily dress?

Cute huh?

How about this?

Adorable – especially for a dancer in Swan Lake or something similar. (Also? Totally justifiable at $260 – Etsy should have featured THIS ONE.)

{Dress # 1}

{Dress # 2}

{Dress # 3}

Some more like this one:

Mah Brainz, Theyz Been Eatten!

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:18:09 +0000

Of all the items I’ve come across since we started Craftastrophe, I don’t know that I’ve been as concerned for a crafter as I am right now. This individual has actually successfully creeped me right the f*ck out – which was no doubt, the reaction they were hoping to garner.

Yet, I am completely amazed by the amount of detail that has gone into creating this little zombie family.

A shrine to Barbie, complete with a zombie cookie.

Um. Riiiigght.

Padded cell for one please!

{ source }

Some more like this one:

Wouldn’t That Be Heavy as Heck?

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:15:31 +0000

Nothing says love like this tadpole inspired domino bracelet. Well, except for squirrel-foot earrings of course.

But wouldn’t this bracelet be super-heavy? Why doesn’t he just add a long chain and shackle you to the bed? Or the furnace?

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