Craftastrophe » Recyled Rejects

One Small Problem

suebob — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:05:45 +0000

You might as well wear the Dog Eye Patch from yesterday. On both eyes.

These crystal sunglasses are to die for.No u can not see out of them.They are prefect for lying on the beach or wearing on top of your head as hairwear.

They’re great sunglasses IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE.
{Source} 40 pointless dollars

Not the same, but still fun:

And I Was Worried I Wouldn’t Have Anything to Wear to My Stripper Pole Classes

suebob — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 15:20:05 +0000

In case you haven’t been feeling trashy enough lately.

The best part? Even the mannequin has tats. Because life is not possible without tats.
{Source} Only $15 slightly sweaty one dollar bills

Not the same, but still fun:

Two, two, two mints in one

suebob — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 14:00:44 +0000

This would be bad if it were a bustier. It would be bad if it were a purse. Voila! It’s a bustier purse.

{Source} Only $10.

Not the same, but still fun:

Death Wish Necklace

suebob — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 14:49:03 +0000

To YOU it may be a “statement necklace.” To me, it’s something that is going to get caught in a whirring gear, drag me into the machine, and snap my neck, leaving me dead, tragically young, and beautiful. Well, one out of three, anyway.

Messy green necklace

Rubber jewelry is light weight, versatile and fun to wear. This piece combines black and purple buttons with seaweed green rubber to create a dramatic statement.

So, dear readers – do tell – what IS the statement this necklace is making?

{Source} Marked down from $55 to $49.50 for the thrifty

Not the same, but still fun:

OCD Fright Night

suebob — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 15:57:10 +0000

I’m not the biggest clean freak in the world. Anyone who has ever seen my fridge knows that.

But THIS? VINTAGE feather duster???

Paying someone $30 to drag a bunch of germs of the ages into my house?? Excuse me. I have to go get the hand sanitizer and bleach.

{Source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Someone Up There Loves Me

suebob — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 14:50:10 +0000

Sometimes you get a gift from the Universe. Even if you are a horrible person who writes a crafts fail blog (not to be confused with the genius FailBlog).

Just go look at this shop. It is chock full of gifts for the person who loves wacky, weird crafts. Behold:

Clothes Pin Top $165

Ping Pong Ball Necklace $145

Recycled Balloon Hat $65

Recycled Glove Vest $215

It is almost too much beauty in one spot. My heart is full. I suggest you buy them all and wear them together.

Not the same, but still fun:

Do-it-Yourself Craftastrophe

suebob — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 20:14:31 +0000

First, go look at this:

A holiday crafts project!

Here’s my favorite part:

And can you tell what they’re made of? Styrofoam and plastic spoons!

I could. I could tell right away.

My other favorite part is that you need to snap the bottom of each plastic spoon off without breaking the spoon or slicing off a body part. Good luck with that. I know I would end up in the ER. Your mileage may vary.

I’m kind of sorry to make fun of this, because the person seems so good-hearted and earnest. And I can relate – I’ve been there. You create something that you spend A LOT of time on, so much time that you fall in love with it, maybe a bit TOO much in love…and it is still just a styro ball with spoons stuck in it.
Spray-painted gold. (Did I ever tell you about my mom’s gold spray paint phase? OMG everything. Sticks, canisters, pine cones, baskets…Because anything looks Klassy if it is gold! “Oh, wow, Mom, I thought you actually bought SOLID GOLD bookends!”)

So. I’m not trying to be mean. Ok, a little mean. But mostly what I’m trying to do is to save you from having your relatives make fun of your spoon ball behind your back for years to come. Trust me on this one.

Not the same, but still fun:

Rednecks R Us

suebob — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:55:22 +0000

No joke, there are about a million “Redneck Wineglasses” on Etsy. Who knew?

But I must say that this is one of the most awesome of them all – hand-detailing, screw top AND a lime green feather boa detail. I mean, whoa. You don’t see quality like that every day.
{Source} $15. Makes a great wedding gift if the couple is moving into a place with a toilet planted with petunias out front.

Some more like this one:

Felt Balls!

suebob — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:00:47 +0000

I had a bit of an argument with LaurieWrites about this one. She said it was not a true Craftastrophe – that it was actually more pathetic and sad than funny.

I had to override her on this one. I mean, it isn’t the best Craftastrophe ever, but my inner 12-year-old boy just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to use the phrase “Felt Balls.”

{Source} $40 worth of fuzzy balls

Some more like this one:

Christmas Gift: For Your Prim, Racist Aunt

suebob — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 15:00:51 +0000

Just a little something to make the couch look extra cozy.

{Source}
I don’t know why this one makes me laugh so hard. Tupac was an artist, a visionary – but one thing I DON’T think he could have ever envisioned was seeing his face larger-than-life on a throw pillow.