Craftastrophe » poptastrophe

What to wear on the second date if you don’t want a third

suebob — Thu, 10 May 2012 13:00:39 +0000

Barbie shoes bracelet. In festive colors.

{Source} $12 and you’ll be home in time for Game of Thrones.

Not the same, but still fun:

“But you SAID…”

suebob — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:57:58 +0000

Stalker invitation pantyhose.

{Source} $23 plus filing costs for the restraining order.

Not the same, but still fun:

From the “What Not to Wear on A First Date” Collection

suebob — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 13:14:54 +0000

Welcome, time-wasting attorneys! Don’t listen to the ABA – you can TOTALLY bill this. Just not to me. (Sorry today’s post is pretty boring. It will be better, I swear) (not in a legal sense. Just a colloquial swearing sense.)

Because it is ugly, that’s why.

Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling getting all romantic in the rain in the movie “The Notebook,” now made tiny and blurry on a ring…

This brings to mind my sister’s sage advice: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

{Source} $18 and a lifetime of snuggling with your cats

Not the same, but still fun:

Happy Pothead Day!

suebob — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:28:44 +0000

Happy 4-20, the day we celebrate all things marijuanariffic. Or haven’t you noticed that your teens are always saying to their friends “I’ll meet you at 4:20″?

Marijuana leaf shaped chocolate pops

Don’t ask me how 4-20 got to signify pot use. I think it has something to do with earth day, but I’m too lazy to Wikipedia it, maybe because of all that Purple Haze Kush I smoked. (Joking! I’m lazy all by myself. I don’t need drugs to help me!).

I suggest you don’t take these 420 Pops to your kid’s friend’s birthday party, that’s all I’m saying. Unless you live in Humboldt County. Then you’re totally cool.

{Source} $7.98 for 2. Which seems kind of HIGH to me.

Not the same, but still fun:

Hating you Cutely

suebob — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 13:13:59 +0000

Someone will have to explain this to me. Plastic “brass knuckles” decorated with Hello, Kitty. Why, my people, why? So you can very gently punch someone while sharing happy cuteness? Because you want to live the Thug Life while you live the Kawaii life, too? Help.

{Source} $21.99 and a two-drink minimum

Not the same, but still fun:

Step Away From the Glue Gun With Your Hands Up

suebob — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 13:14:21 +0000

When people say “Ooh, shiny”? I’m pretty sure this is what they HAVE to be talking about.

{Source} $350, which is $130 more than these

Not the same, but still fun:

Write Your Own Caption

suebob — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:50:38 +0000

Ok, the shoe sculpture – whatever. Clever sculptures are a dime a dozen. This one happens to be $24,000, but I’ve seen worse. I mean, I live in Oprah’s neighborhood, where people spend all kinds of stupid money on stupid art. Well, not exactly Oprah’s neighborhood. I guess you could say I’m Oprah adjacent.

Enough about that. What I am interested in here, for our purposes of discussion, is the photo. What the hell is going on with the model and her latex dress? Did someone instruct her “Put on your worst porno face?” Or “Try to look as much like a blow-up sex doll as possible?”

{Source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Expect a Call from Homer Simpson

suebob — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:00:02 +0000

Mmmmm donuts.

I think Marge could make Homer a very, very happy man with this.
{Source} Just $25. Also available by the baker’s dozen.

Not the same, but still fun:

Fun for everyone to play!

suebob — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 01:55:20 +0000

What do you get when you mix your lovely lady lumps with a popular children’s game? Behold, the Pokemon-inspired Pokebra!

My question is, what do they have for Poke Balls?
{Source} $29.99 or a set of Pokemon cards.

Not the same, but still fun:

Public Service Announcement

suebob — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 23:36:49 +0000

Just because Lady Gaga does something doesn’t mean you should do it. She’s Lady Gaga, one of the biggest stars in the world, and you are Not That Cool. So do us a favor and don’t even try. Especially when the results look like this. Behold – the cigarette sunglasses from the “Telephone” video.

Just because you have a glue gun and a pack of smokes doesn’t mean you should try this at home.
{Source} A $25 waste of cancer sticks