This poor little squish is so sad!

No one knows why… but I think it’s because he needs a home!

Squishes are made out of polymer clay and serve absolutely no purpose other the being squishy!

If you would like a squish on a necklace or a squish on your fridge, let me know!

I have some fat squish I could give you so your squishes are no longer sad squishes but happy squishes with squishy squish friends.

Interestested? Email me!

Want a squishy friend? One dollah.

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Harmless, right? I mean, it’s kinda freaky looking, but nothing too craftastic compared to other items we’ve featured here.

That is until you flip it over…

(more…)

I *suppose* you could use it as a tea pot if you really want. But. Dude? Seriously? Are you sure you haven’t been smoking that tea instead?

Inscribed in colorful glaze on the interior of the teapot chamber is “Coffee, Tea…or me?”

Uh. Wha?

Do you know how much coffee I could buy for 395 dollars?

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I just can’t think of one occasion for where this may be suitable.

Guess that just makes me a straight edged stick in the mud, because really? I mean. You could wear mold just about anywhere. Right?

Don’t get me wrong. It’s cute, and well crafted; just… uh…. WHY?

I just can’t decide if it’s the moldy bread or the intestinal tract I like better.

Another thing…When I first read the dimensions I saw 4.5 and immediately thought inches (even though it’s actually centimeters) – and 4.5 inches? THAT’S HUGE. You’d be walkin’ around like Fava Flav with those intestines dangling from a gaudy chain.

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Then you could be all: FLLLAAVVVVAAA FLAAAAV. But not.

P.S. Flava Flav is 50!!!?! WTF!?

P.P.S. I feel old.

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Perusing some of the older submissions I came across this. At first I thought it was just some weird polymer head with a goofy grin and funny eyes.

Then I read the description and choked on my water then spit it all over my computer.

Someone owes me a clean computer.

Heed the warning, people. Heed!

From the listing…

This is a strong mama & not for the timid. She is crowning in a deep squat, known to be an optimal position for birth, utilizing both gravity and a wide open pelvis to bring her baby strongly into the world. She refuses to be drugged, cut open, or forced onto her back in a pose of subservience. She takes charge of her birth & she’s doing it HER WAY. She is as anatomically detailed as I could manage, complete with labia, nipples & clitoral hood.

Holy feminist Batman!

Guess that makes me a push over man servant. Ah well. Can’t win ‘em all, can we? No sense in getting my labia all bunched up.

I will not make her less detailed.

How’s that for standards!?

Thanks Carolyn!

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