It’s that time of year again. Nope, not stocking hanging time. Not family vacation time. Not even annoying Christmas music time.
It’s the time of year when I start online shopping for the holidays.
This evening I was browsing Etsy for something to get my mother, who at 64 has everything she needs and most things she wants (at least within my budget) and gets harder and harder to come with creative ideas for.
My mother is also a notorious dog enthusiast with a specific penchant (at the moment) for Pugs. Lucky for me, Etsy is a gold mine when it comes to creepy Pug related craft gifts.
Like these!
At a mere $2.99, who wouldn’t want the world’s creepiest hang tags? {source}
I have a fur coat. I wear it with some frequency. In the summer, when you are in your wee bitty little bikini, floating around cooly in the pool. I am stuck in this rank ass fur, sweating up a storm. But, in the fall and winter? It is delightful to be a dog. I have nature’s most perfect insulation.
So listen to me. LOOK AT ME. No, look at me. This crap? Has got to stop. I do not need a raincoat, a scarf, a jaunty little cap, or one of those stupid little hats with an umbrella attached. I sure as hell don’t need whatever this thing is and I think I may be having some allergy related reaction. Because, that’s right, I am ALLERGIC TO SHAME.
I’m warm enough. I am cute enough. Please stop making me wear the leftovers from your yarn stash.
Love,
Buster
P.S. That little treat in your underwear drawer? Expect that every day until the torture ceases.
Jane Fonda’s famous leg warmers have come back with a vengeance with the recent popularity of baby ‘legwarmers’. This crafter was sick of seeing the family pet Jazzercise in bare legs, so she decided to whip a little something up for Miss Kitty. Ignore the death stare, she’s just waiting for the warmup to start. Feel the burn!!
This weekend when hanging out with a wise friend, I was privy to this gem of an observation: “If you have trouble developing an interesting personality that’s another thing you’ll probably try–wearing a crazy hat.”
Or possibly making one! (And then trying to sell it for $450).
This hat is the most ridiculously ugly joker hat I’ve ever seen, which is saying a lot because I’ve also seen Fremont Street, Times Square, and the Castro during Gay Pride. No joker-hat-wearing fool in any of those locations had a thing on this primary colored monstrosity.
