Tired of cats? Are dogs just too “ordinary” for your taste? Do you refuse to try and build a trusting relationship with a goldfish? Well, boy have I got the pet for you.
I like to call him Brian. (You know, after the Tom Cruise character in Cocktail? It just seems appropriate somehow.) If you’d like to view the unedited version of this wriggling beast, click here.
Just look at those cute little freckles! He’s like a tiny shar pei puppy! With a drooling problem. And glitter. And one eye.
You’ll definitely want to get this little guy spayed and into obedience training right away.
My inspiration for this pattern was a request from a man that wanted something new and fun to wear. He was delighted with the outcome and I believe your man will be, too.
Make some up for the Valentine in your life. Make them for fun. Make them for profit if you want to. Or, just make them for you.
Somehow that sets off my BS detector. Every man I know would rather let Perez Hilton wax their legs than wear something like this. But maybe that’s just out here on the West Coast. Men in Oklahoma City are probably begging for crocheted jockstraps. You know how that humidity gets to you. This would at least alleviate the dreaded “sticking to the leg” problem.
Please note that this is just a pattern, not the item. Twig and berries not included.
Unfortunately for us bipeds – ” Although this penis is lifelike, it is not intended for peeing, making babies or any other lifelike uses. Novelty only. ”
Darn.
But damn that kitty’s one lucky bitch !!
The perfect toy for your puss to play all day long with.
This kitty toy has been sewn with love, by a cat lover. The shaft of the penis is stuffed with a fabric pouch of catnip. Every seam was double stitched for strength, so to allow for maximum pussy play. The head of the penis has no raw edges for kitty safety.
Humans like to watch – and that is a good thing, since the “Pussy Loves Prick” toy should not be played with without human supervision. Much care is taken in the making of this toy – but should your kitten, in the ravages of passion, tear into her plaything, please, no matter how cruel it seems, use the proper precauctions in caring for your pet, and discontinue use if it becomes a saftey hazard.
Stuffed with Organic Catnip ! Who said the insides of these things weren’t good for ya ?!
Which, could also be misconstrued as immature content, depending on the day, the audience, or how tightly you’re wound. As you can see by the handsome young gentleman above, with the shapely legs…he has a secret. His secret was revealed during middle school algebra when he was called to the board to solve for x. This young man was the superhero known as…
But I regularly have Beatles songs stuck in my head.
I have sat here staring at this for quite a while, vacillating between awe of the mad skillz with a wood plane and utter incomprehension that someone would MAKE this.
