Craftastrophe » Penis Paraphernalia

{NSFW} Excuse me? Are you finished with those Pringles?

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 14:21:00 +0000

Mmmmm… Pringles….

Um. Ya. I don’t think I’ll ever eat them again without thinking of this…

Empty the chips out of the can. You can use whatever brand and flavor you prefer, but we like the one shown here for the container’s ergonomic shape and durable, colorful plastic.

Empty the chips? Seriously, unless you’re going to enjoy them at the same time as you’re enjoying the container, eat the chips first. You’ll feel so much better.

To use your homemade flashlight toy, squirt some water-based, non-greasy lube into the condom and insert your penis. Cover the hole in the can with the tip of your finger to control the amount of “suction” you get. Closing the hole will increase the suction, so leave it open as you stroke in, and cover it on the out stroke.

Mmmm, enjoying your chips? Riveting, isn’t it?

Remove the foam roll and replace the condom after use (or rinse and reuse, if you’re really cheap). Use a textured condom turned inside out for more stimulation. Because the condom has a small opening on the end, the foam at the bottom of the can will periodically need to be replaced

Ew.

When stored with the lid on, the homemade flashlight can be conveniently camouflaged as an innocent can of potato chips (the can on the left has an advantage because its lid is opaque).. However, you need to release the edge of the condom from the lip of the can before you put the top on. If the condom is stretched around the top when you put the lid on, the lid will cut through the thin rubber of the condom. Leave the top of the condom loose, push the foam in, and cover with the lid. To use, just pop the top, pull the foam out a bit, and restretch the rubber.

You know when someone can provide THAT much detail, this thing wasn’t made on a whim. It’s been used OVER AND OVER to the point they’ve perfected it.

*shudder*

Remember, the can itself may be harmless, but when you’re asked for that container, a 1 ¼” O-ring, scissors, a condom and Sharpie markers you’d best be prepared. I, on the other hand am a little leery of the number click-throughs I’m going to see as you dirty perverts go check out how to make these.

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Some more like this one:

Frilly Willy

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:16:36 +0000

Nothing like a good soft peen to cuddle with at night.

Wait. No.

What?

Peen with frills. Frills like look like a french maid outfit…

It…

I…

Makes me want to scratch.

*scritch, scritch, scritch*

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Some more like this one:

Attitude is Everything

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 16:33:43 +0000

That, my friends, is one of the most feminine HE’s I have ever seen.

Oh, Chi-Chi Rodriguez, you came so close…

Just remember, girlfriend, Attitude is Everything.

Thanks Sarah!

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Some more like this one:

The Eyes of Frida

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:43:10 +0000

I don’t know, maybe I’m stating the obvious here…but that kinda looks like a penis in (its) mouth, and maybe vagina eyes?

Either way. I am scarred for life. FOR SERIOUS.

From the listing:

For the love of Frida and her ever lasting existence, when the consciousness ceases, the mind has die [sic], but not the imagination.

I think this person’s imagination could use a vacation.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Gawd, I hope they wash their hands

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:00:21 +0000

The part that scares me the most? The MOTHER. EFFING. STICKER.

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Not the same, but still fun:

You Don’t Have To Be 18 To Buy This Tissue Box Cover

Karen Sugarpants — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:44:48 +0000

…but maybe you should be? Just think how handy the tissues would be though. *ahem*

Not the same, but still fun:

Colour Me Confused

Karen Sugarpants — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:05:42 +0000

Dear Santa,

I’ve been such a good girl this year. What I’d really like is a carousel of Crayola crayons and a couple of dirty colouring books filled with genitalia. Don’t forget the glitter crayons!

Love, Karen

p.s. I know about glitter. That’s why I asked. Someone should tell that dead teenager, Edward Cullen.

Thanks Annette!

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Not the same, but still fun:

Giveaway results brought to you by Flaccid Peen

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:50:22 +0000

And the winner wiener is:

Congratulations Melany, you win this:

The Golden Peen!

No, really. It’s all yours.

Okay, okay. Seriously. You win a gift certificate for whatever your heart desires from Eden Fantasys!

Congratulations!

Thanks again to Casey for this find!

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Not the same, but still fun:

NSFW: Mankini

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:00:08 +0000

Looks like your Pikachu is trying to Pikatme. NSFW after the jump.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Peen Cushion

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:45:32 +0000

** Have you entered our fabulous giveaway for a 75 dollar gift certificate to Eden Fantasys? Time’s running out!**

:::

Nothing like laying down on the couch to watch a good movie and end up getting dick in the ear.

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