Just what everyone needs. A horse head. A really, really BIG horse head.
As so often happened when I was looking at photos to contribute to the hilariously obscene website Desperately Seeking Something (NSFW!), I became focused on the background more than the star of the show.
WHAT is going on in this house, people? Is it a hoarder house or a crazy artist house or just a terminal case of terrible bachelor housekeeping?? Inquiring minds want to know.
(No description of the artwork is given, but it is $1450 and I think it has something to do with Mardi Gras).
And to commemorate this momentous occasion, I’ve found not one, not two, not three (which would make more sense) but FOUR awesomely bad crafts for your tastrophe, all of which feature the number 30 in their titles.
Photographed beside a wood stove to give you a better idea of its dimensions, this wreath of old bar trash promises to be “a great addition to any house that it hangs in.” And for $10,000, it’d better be!
Okay, look. I am as pro-baby rock on with your bad self awesome women who shoot fruit from their nether bits as the next girl. But, dudes. I have my limits.
I HAVE MY LIMITS. These dolls, well these dolls are my limit.
Starts all cute, right? Awwwww, preggo doll getting ready to burst forth a life. Then, well, then there was placenta. See, what happened there was when the placenta, even though it’s just red felt, showed up I heard a loud buzzing and felt a pop. Then I went blind and lost all control of my bladder. So, I am pretty sure that I have suffered a major doll-placenta related stroke.
I went blind before I could even see the snap nipples or to fully comprehend the $130 price tag. Then something started leaking out of my ear at the thought of stuffing that little baby doll back up into the mama doll to relive the birthing experience.
Nothing tells your loved one “I love your batty self” like, well, bats:
Can you imagine the joy on Christmas morn when she opens the snowman-decorated gift bag to see not one, not two, but THREE high-quality, air-dried bats inside? Oh, and don’t worry where they came from. They lived a long and happy life getting farmed for poop and meat (in that order, I suppose) before they got killed and preserved for your gift-giving pleasure:
This Gorgeous collection will enchant any guest or friends to your home or office. It makes a wonderful conversation piece.
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My Air dried specimens come from Government regulated cooperatives to support the studies at the same time provide economic benefits to indigenous population. Bat farming encourages natural habitat preservation, these bats are reared for their precious guano and for food.
As so often happened when I was looking at photos to contribute to the hilariously obscene website Desperately Seeking Something (NSFW!), I became focused on the background more than the star of the show.
