Craftastrophe » Ornamental Psychosis

Wait, Weight

suebob — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 01:12:49 +0000

I want to go eat a carton of Chubby Hubby just so I DON’T end up looking like this miserable bobble-headed little bony wretch. And I don’t even LIKE Chubby Hubby.

This slimming fridge magnet is designed to reduce the excessive amount of trips to the fridge. Whilst it does not claim any magical powers it serves as an extra reminder of “the big goal” whenever you are lurking into the kitchen.

{Source} $8 and all the pie you can stuff into your pie-hole

Not the same, but still fun:

Will definitely scare the varmints out of your garden

suebob — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 14:00:08 +0000

Bloody zombie garden gnomes. For those who aren’t going for that quaint, charming look.

{Source} $10. Where are you going to find a better deal on bloody zombie gnomes? Huh?

Not the same, but still fun:

Barbie’s Crack House!

suebob — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 15:18:22 +0000

Just what every little girl needs to get her start on a business empire!

This is a little pile of professionally bailed bricks of pure Columbian cocaine, a perfect addition to your child’s dollhouse or school diorama. (You could also put them inside your Tijuana-themed terrarium.)

Attention: There are no drugs inside these packages. It’s white clay. If you snort it, you’re on your own.

{Source} H/T Elizabeth Only $18 dollars, a savings of $5 million, more or less, over the real thing (don’t ask me, I haven’t priced kilos of cocaine lately)

Not the same, but still fun:

It Only Hurts Because It’s True

suebob — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:00:02 +0000

One question, though: What is up with her boobs?
{Source} $125 or will trade for a pallet of Two-Buck Chuck

Not the same, but still fun:

In case you want to hang from the gym ceiling and spin around

suebob — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:00:41 +0000

I present the Disco Ball Bra

Warning: If you break this, it is like 1 million years bad luck.
{Source} $72 worth of sparkly mirrors

Not the same, but still fun:

Dazed and Confused, and a little scared

suebob — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:00:57 +0000

Meet Screamy, the porcelain pot pipe:

Anyone can have a glass pipe. And those are lovely and some are outright incredible. But porcelain pipe? Now not everybodys GOT one of those.

Ok, I know pot isn’t supposed to be hallucinogenic. But this PIPE may be hallucinogenic.
{Source} $35, which won’t even buy you any weed these days. I think. I’m old, people.

Not the same, but still fun:

Christmas Idea: For Your Crazy Bird-Loving Sister (ahem)

suebob — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 15:00:25 +0000

Yes, my sister is a nutty bird lady, and I do love her. I don’t know if I love her enough to spend almost $500 on a slightly moth-eaten-looking crocheted poseable birdie, though:

Maybe I’ll just get her a bag of sunflower seeds and call it a day.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Sauna

suebob — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 01:35:11 +0000

What do you do on long, dark winter nights?

If you are Finnish, you hop in the sauna and beat each other with birch branches til you are nice and rosy.

There are also dachshunds on the other side:

Not sure what the dogs have to do with it.

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Some more like this one:

Well, that’s taken care of

suebob — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 03:39:18 +0000

Every year I have to do it. I just have to, once per year, buy a bag of candy corn and eat it until I feel sick. Then I ask myself “Why did I do that?” Until the next year.

Well, consider me cured.

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Some more like this one:

I’ll just take the $34.99 “Happy Halloween” chrysanthemum bouquet, please

suebob — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 23:48:52 +0000

Halloween week continues with this lovely entry.

Kinda creepy, right? A little?

It becomes a whole lot eerier when you read this:

16×20″ maple wood mount; articulated real human arm and hand bones, dried roses, stingray stingers, birch twigs with fairy’s-cup fungus, tattered black silk, crepe, and gauze.

Real human arm and hand bones, people. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t start listening for strange noises down the hall if you hung this in your home.

thump thump thump.

It’s getting closer.

Scratch scratch scratch

RUN!!!!!!!

Yours for only $1700. Good for scaring small children and superstitious relatives.

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