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When I Die and They Lay Me To Rest, Gonna Go to the Place That’s the Best

I try my damnedest not to think about death. I mean, I *just* turned 28, have two young and AWESOME kids and an AWESOME husband who just bought me a MacBook Pro for  my birthday – needless to say, things are alright at the moment.

Geez, Debbie Downer. This is supposed to be a FUNNY website. Get on with it already.

Sometimes thoughts arise and it can’t be helped. I’ve thought about what I would want for my funeral and reception but only in small details. Pink tulips, gerbera daisies and Norman Greenbaum’s Spirit in The Sky.

Oh, and booze. Lots and lots of booze.

One thing I have not thought about was my casket.

Frig, this really is a downer. There’s FUNNY, I PROMISE! Stick with me peeps.

A casket should be a personal decision, since well, you’re going to be in it a long time. Good thing I found this, because now I can cross that off my list too.

wicker coffin 1 When I Die and They Lay Me To Rest, Gonna Go to the Place Thats the Best

A wicker casket.

OH, HELLZ YES!!

I want mine to come with a carpet of flowers too.

Speaking of wicker, there are NOT enough crafts of wicker on this site. We definitely need more, because without wicker life is really dull.

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on May 19, 2009
Disturbing Things We Should Never Own, For The Insane, Messages From the Darkside |
{ 10 Comments }

Sweet Baby Jesus, There’s MORE!?

Remember Teraline?

Ya, I was trying to forget her too. Then, as I perused the archives of our Craftastrophe emails I came across this birdbrain.

It’s okay to call her that,  she doesn’t mind. I asked.

She’s a bit squirrely… but lovable all the same.

squirrel-skull-doll

She’s a member of the Fae Protectorate, a disciple in all the ways of tiny-fighting, and yet such a glamorous maven of sensuality and fashion.

“disciple in all the ways of tiny-fighting”? So is my ten-month-old. That kid can throw down like nobody’s business.

Yet another way our human errors have attached themselves to the aether, this little fairy darling took it a step too far and traded in her wings and weapons for a pair of boots and a shiny dress.

Wha?

Although mistaken in her racial identity, don’t think for a second that she’s lost her fairy abilities. She’ll just as likely stick her high heel through your eye as kiss you. I don’t know which one would be worse…

Well, if I had one eye then I could wink and tada! she’s gone!

One of a kind art doll comes with handmade dress, boots and accessories. Her ‘hair’ is coyote fur and glass beads, and her head is squirrel.

Mmmmm. Squirrel skull. It’s what’s for breakfast.

DOES NOT come with demon skull prop. You CAN order a demon skull prop, convo me.

Damn! The skull prop is what sold me on this fairy-like goddess. *snicker*  Kinda like the Coffee Fairy, *link NSFW* only not.

il 430xn50379029 Sweet Baby Jesus, Theres MORE!?

Thanks Chris!

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on April 1, 2009
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe, Crazy Critter Parts, Disturbing Things We Should Never Own, Doctor Dement-O, Messages From the Darkside |
{ 5 Comments }

Growing Up Cullen: Twilight’s Edward Cullen is a 40 Year Old Miserable Housewife

edward cullen crochet doll Growing Up Cullen: Twilights Edward Cullen is a 40 Year Old Miserable Housewife

edward earrings pearl Growing Up Cullen: Twilights Edward Cullen is a 40 Year Old Miserable Housewife

Dear Twilight Fans,
Put the glitter down. Stop putting your body pillows in the freezer. No amount of glitter is going to turn your mom’s frozen rock hard couch cushions into the Edward Cullen you are dying to lay your warm body against. Take the ice cubes outta your panties. Back away from the Twilight series.

Besides, Edward? Has the exact persona of a miserable, 40 year old housewife.  I HAVE PROOF.

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Posted by Karen Sugarpants on March 26, 2009
Messages From the Darkside |
{ 9 Comments }

Craftastic Craft Talk

How come I’ve never Leslie Hall before? In love, people. Seriously In. Love.

I am so buying a pair of gold leggings and a glitter sweater.

Thanks Fidget for sending this in!

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on March 9, 2009
Celebrities Give Me Hives, Doctor Dement-O, For The Insane, Messages From the Darkside |
{ 12 Comments }

Mah Brainz, Theyz Been Eatten!

Of all the items I’ve come across since we started Craftastrophe, I don’t know that I’ve been as concerned for a crafter as I am right now. This individual has actually successfully creeped me right the f*ck out – which was no doubt, the reaction they were hoping to garner.

Yet, I am completely amazed by the amount of detail that has gone into creating this little zombie family.

zombie diorama Mah Brainz, Theyz Been Eatten!

baby zombie Mah Brainz, Theyz Been Eatten!

sleeping zombie Mah Brainz, Theyz Been Eatten!

shrine Mah Brainz, Theyz Been Eatten!

A shrine to Barbie, complete with a zombie cookie.

Um. Riiiigght.

Padded cell for one please!

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on January 27, 2009
Disturbing Things We Should Never Own, Doctor Dement-O, For The Insane, Guaranteed Not to Improve Your Report Card, Messages From the Darkside, Recyled Rejects, This Centerpiece Might Make Your Guests Coil in Fear, Um. WTF? |
{ 16 Comments }

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The Toddlerpede doll sculpture (left) was created by Jon Beinart.




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