Craftastrophe » Messages From the Darkside

Souls Are Overrated

Elly Lou (BugginWord) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:51:01 +0000

How do you feel about your soul? Are you tired of trying to make your current one work? Would you like to upgrade to a newer model but you’ve no idea how to remove the one you already have?!?! Well now you can!* Introducing the revolutionary new Creepy Zombie Doll! He’ll suck your soul out in seconds flat!**

But wait, there’s more! Act now and we’ll also send you this “StrangeBorn” doll complete with the facial abnormalities of a rare genetic disorder! She’ll be sure to scare off…well…every living and unliving thing you could possibly imagine (with the exception of Creepy Zombie Doll).

As part of our exciting offer, if you call in the next twenty minutes we’ll include this second, even more terrifying, Creepy Zombie Doll to suck out the soul of your loved one. That’s three dolls for the price of only two souls!

*New soul sold separately.

**Doll maker can not guarantee soul sucking. Actual results may vary.

***Not actually an infomercial. This was only a recreation of the nightmares I enjoyed all night long after looking at these little jewels.

{source} (Thanks Reader Kerrie!)

Elly Lou (and what’s left of her soul) rambles regularly on her blog BugginWord.com.

Some more like this one:

American Anarchist

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:00:23 +0000

Before you get all worked up, this piece was rescued in this shape…for the most part…I just added the lyrics.

So let me get this straight. You’re saying you “rescued” a dirty and unkempt American flag and defaced it? For what purpose?

It is a testament to the powers that be; to those who invoke the flag so frequently but have so little regard for its reality, for they are the ones who let it get in this condition–the bean counters who would let a flag fly in this condition so they can save some minor expenses and get that fat Christmas bonus or our so called political representatives who send our husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, cousins and children to die so they can line their pockets with blood oil and war machine revenues.

*blink, blink*

But before you wrote lyrics and a HUGE anarchy symbol, it wasn’t getting that message across?

It is also an inversion of the symbolic and communicative properties of flags; rather than acting as a vehicle for communicating ideas without words it has become a canvas for communicating prose which directly counter those the powers that be would have you accept as truth. I’m sure this work will offend some, but hopefully it will fan the flames of positive action and more of us will stand up and set our great nation back on its proper track…one in which we, as humans and as Americans, do not drug, maim, torture, and kill in the name of righteousness; one in which we do not trample the rights of others in the name of freedom.

*blink, blink*

*blink*

I suppose them big words are the reason for the hefty $100,000 price tag? Not the dirty, mutilated, flag, right?

Is it against the law to wash a flag in the machine?

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Not the same, but still fun:

Glitter Regurgitation

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:00:07 +0000

These (regurgitated) polymer clay caca faces are ready to add to your art dolls compost or any other craft project which will soon be burned beyond recognition.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Merry Halloween!

Karen Sugarpants — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:37:25 +0000

I think ‘re-sculpted face’ is a bit of an understatement.

Thanks Amanda!

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Not the same, but still fun:

Scary Sally

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:00:46 +0000

…isn’t so scary once you see that…

…the idiot is wearing a pumpkin on her head and fashioned her hair with hockey tape. I think I saw that hairstyle on People of Walmart.

Boo-urns.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Are you Wookin Pa Nub?

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 01:36:01 +0000

His name is Mr. Wookin Pa Nub We call him that because he is always wookin pa nub in all the wrong places! He is one goofy dude.

If by ‘Wookin Pa Nub” you mean “Scaring the shit out of little kids everywhere”, then yes. “Wookin Pa Nub” indeed.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

That’s Funny, I Didn’t Even Notice the Coffee Cup.

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:32:50 +0000

From the listing:

This is a once-in-a-lifetime “masterpiece” of mine that was started several years ago when I lived in Michigan…Just got her finished this Winter here in CA.

She is nearly 70 inches tall, head to heels of boots! Semi-poseable, can sit in a chair or propped in a corner for a stunning addition to your home, club, or bedroom. She has a wooden armature “skeleton” in the legs and back up to neck.
Stuffed with quality Polyfil and shredded foam and she is quite soft and cuddly!

This leather doll is a true OOAK art object! The hat, gauntlets and bikini are removable! The hands are from re-purposed vintage gloves, the Italian boots are rescued from a local thrift shop. Hand-stitched face details, eyes are painted wood. Permanently-attached goldtone chain w/ swivel-snap.

Shipping estimated at $100.00 in the Lower 48 USA. Maybe ship via Greyhound bus. Local pick-up available, too! Note: the coffee cup is NOT for sale!!!

Well okay then. When I saw this picture, I thought it may have been taken right before Lolita Leatherbody back-handed the crafter:

Semi-pose-able, all in leather. She’s like a Real Doll.* Only not. Even. Close.

{source}

* not linking. if you don’t know what a Real Doll is, go ahead and Google but it’s NSFW.

Some more like this one:

Some Days I Wish I Had a Leather Face Panel

It’s Such a Sweet Thing When You Open Up, Baby

Karen Sugarpants — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 01:45:37 +0000

This art piece, entitled Little Sister, is likely NOT what Queens of the Stone Age had in mind. Nevertheless, for a hundred and fifty bones, you can have yourself a matted print of someone’s banana tied up with electrical tape & wire, & well, screwed. Ahem.

My husband the electrician would probably take great offense to his banana being treated this way, despite his love for electrical tape & wire, and of course, getting screwed.

(now my brother is rocking in a corner somewhere. hee.)

Thanks Genvieve!

{source}

Some more like this one:

My name is Pussy. Octopussy.

sam {temptingmama} — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:39:45 +0000

What the WHAT!?

I can’t stop staring at those eff’n eyes. They seriously skeeve me the frig out.

I think I want this chandelier in the hallway outside my kids’ rooms.

Yes. I said chandelier.

Seriously.

RAAAWWWWWWWR. GET BACK IN YER BED!!!!

From the listing:

This octopus chandelier is made from sculpted arms and head, she has pink albino taxidermy glass eyes, pearl encrusted body covered with vintage and new pearls, scallop shells, pink pearl candles and painted with pearlized paint. She measures about 42″ diameter and is about 14″ tall.

Dude. Those eyes? ARE HUGE. I’d like to know what kind of *things* taxidermist are taxiderming that would needs eyes that ginormous AND ALBINO.

*shudder*

Come hither my pretties. Come feast among my shiny pearl-like eggs.

(or egg-like pearls? Whatever.)

And now ‘Octopussy‘ will forever have a whole new meaning to me.

P.S.? How could ’someone’ even name a movie that an it not be shot down immediately by those people who suck all the funny out of movie titles?

P.P.S. I can’t not giggle every time I say Octopussy.

P.P.S.S. Am twelve.

Thanks Pam D.!

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Some more like this one:

Hideous Hannah Has Lost Her Head

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:18:03 +0000

Hideous Hannah went down to Savannah,

holding her head in her hands.

She tried a bandana,

tied around her neck-a,

but her head kept rolling cross lands.

(her nose looks like Michael Jackson’s did.)

I kind of love this and think it would be perfect for Avitable’s Halloween party!

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