Craftastrophe » Messages From the Darkside

Glitter Regurgitation

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:00:07 +0000

These (regurgitated) polymer clay caca faces are ready to add to your art dolls compost or any other craft project which will soon be burned beyond recognition.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Merry Halloween!

Karen Sugarpants — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:37:25 +0000

I think ‘re-sculpted face’ is a bit of an understatement.

Thanks Amanda!

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Scary Sally

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:00:46 +0000

…isn’t so scary once you see that…

…the idiot is wearing a pumpkin on her head and fashioned her hair with hockey tape. I think I saw that hairstyle on People of Walmart.

Boo-urns.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Are you Wookin Pa Nub?

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 01:36:01 +0000

His name is Mr. Wookin Pa Nub We call him that because he is always wookin pa nub in all the wrong places! He is one goofy dude.

If by ‘Wookin Pa Nub” you mean “Scaring the shit out of little kids everywhere”, then yes. “Wookin Pa Nub” indeed.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

That’s Funny, I Didn’t Even Notice the Coffee Cup.

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:32:50 +0000

From the listing:

This is a once-in-a-lifetime “masterpiece” of mine that was started several years ago when I lived in Michigan…Just got her finished this Winter here in CA.

She is nearly 70 inches tall, head to heels of boots! Semi-poseable, can sit in a chair or propped in a corner for a stunning addition to your home, club, or bedroom. She has a wooden armature “skeleton” in the legs and back up to neck.
Stuffed with quality Polyfil and shredded foam and she is quite soft and cuddly!

This leather doll is a true OOAK art object! The hat, gauntlets and bikini are removable! The hands are from re-purposed vintage gloves, the Italian boots are rescued from a local thrift shop. Hand-stitched face details, eyes are painted wood. Permanently-attached goldtone chain w/ swivel-snap.

Shipping estimated at $100.00 in the Lower 48 USA. Maybe ship via Greyhound bus. Local pick-up available, too! Note: the coffee cup is NOT for sale!!!

Well okay then. When I saw this picture, I thought it may have been taken right before Lolita Leatherbody back-handed the crafter:

Semi-pose-able, all in leather. She’s like a Real Doll.* Only not. Even. Close.

{source}

* not linking. if you don’t know what a Real Doll is, go ahead and Google but it’s NSFW.

Some more like this one:

Some Days I Wish I Had a Leather Face Panel

It’s Such a Sweet Thing When You Open Up, Baby

Karen Sugarpants — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 01:45:37 +0000

This art piece, entitled Little Sister, is likely NOT what Queens of the Stone Age had in mind. Nevertheless, for a hundred and fifty bones, you can have yourself a matted print of someone’s banana tied up with electrical tape & wire, & well, screwed. Ahem.

My husband the electrician would probably take great offense to his banana being treated this way, despite his love for electrical tape & wire, and of course, getting screwed.

(now my brother is rocking in a corner somewhere. hee.)

Thanks Genvieve!

{source}

Some more like this one:

My name is Pussy. Octopussy.

sam {temptingmama} — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:39:45 +0000

What the WHAT!?

I can’t stop staring at those eff’n eyes. They seriously skeeve me the frig out.

I think I want this chandelier in the hallway outside my kids’ rooms.

Yes. I said chandelier.

Seriously.

RAAAWWWWWWWR. GET BACK IN YER BED!!!!

From the listing:

This octopus chandelier is made from sculpted arms and head, she has pink albino taxidermy glass eyes, pearl encrusted body covered with vintage and new pearls, scallop shells, pink pearl candles and painted with pearlized paint. She measures about 42″ diameter and is about 14″ tall.

Dude. Those eyes? ARE HUGE. I’d like to know what kind of *things* taxidermist are taxiderming that would needs eyes that ginormous AND ALBINO.

*shudder*

Come hither my pretties. Come feast among my shiny pearl-like eggs.

(or egg-like pearls? Whatever.)

And now ‘Octopussy‘ will forever have a whole new meaning to me.

P.S.? How could ’someone’ even name a movie that an it not be shot down immediately by those people who suck all the funny out of movie titles?

P.P.S. I can’t not giggle every time I say Octopussy.

P.P.S.S. Am twelve.

Thanks Pam D.!

{source}

Some more like this one:

Hideous Hannah Has Lost Her Head

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:18:03 +0000

Hideous Hannah went down to Savannah,

holding her head in her hands.

She tried a bandana,

tied around her neck-a,

but her head kept rolling cross lands.

(her nose looks like Michael Jackson’s did.)

I kind of love this and think it would be perfect for Avitable’s Halloween party!

{source}

Some more like this one:

I Love (Silence of the) Lamp

Karen Sugarpants — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:15:50 +0000

And I really love this lamp. It’s Rosemary’s Baby meets Silence of the Lambs. Heh. Silence of the LAMP.

I Love Lamp.

Thanks Burgh Baby!

Photos by Julian Wearne

Some more like this one:

When I Die and They Lay Me To Rest, Gonna Go to the Place That’s the Best

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 19 May 2009 19:04:04 +0000

I try my damnedest not to think about death. I mean, I *just* turned 28, have two young and AWESOME kids and an AWESOME husband who just bought me a MacBook Pro for my birthday – needless to say, things are alright at the moment.

Geez, Debbie Downer. This is supposed to be a FUNNY website. Get on with it already.

Sometimes thoughts arise and it can’t be helped. I’ve thought about what I would want for my funeral and reception but only in small details. Pink tulips, gerbera daisies and Norman Greenbaum’s Spirit in The Sky.

Oh, and booze. Lots and lots of booze.

One thing I have not thought about was my casket.

Frig, this really is a downer. There’s FUNNY, I PROMISE! Stick with me peeps.

A casket should be a personal decision, since well, you’re going to be in it a long time. Good thing I found this, because now I can cross that off my list too.

A wicker casket.

OH, HELLZ YES!!

I want mine to come with a carpet of flowers too.

Speaking of wicker, there are NOT enough crafts of wicker on this site. We definitely need more, because without wicker life is really dull.

{source}