Craftastrophe » Lady Bits and Pieces

The Penistron Will Allow You To Have Sex Online

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:21:33 +0000

Fantastic.

I can think of a dozen other inventions I’d like to ask Japan to work on. Like a thing that will fold and put away laundry. Or something to make me skinny the more sugar and crap I eat. HOW ABOUT THAT, JAPAN?

Not the same, but still fun:

Like tube socks and oranges

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:00:32 +0000

Do your boobs hang low?

Do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie them in a knot?

Can you tie them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder

like a Continental Solider

Do your boobs hang low?

Thanks Karen and Burgh Baby!!

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Who knew you liked vagina so much!?

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:07:02 +0000

We’ve featured this artist here before, but DAAAYUM you’all REALLY want to see what we have to say about another one of her items that’s been making it’s way around the interwebs.

It’s been featured quite a few places as of late – including one of our favourites - mad props to Buzzfeed! - but it’s so fun we just can’t pass it up.

Who knew you liked vagina so much!?

Sorry to those of you whom may have had your vagina replicated and it’s featured here. Ever more so if yours is the one I referred to as “moldy”.

This ones for you our lovely Craftastrophe followers, because without you none of this would have been possible.

Uhhh… my vagina* loves you?

Thanks fidget, Shannna, Cyndie, Josh & Allison, and my girl PrincessJenn

{source – replica vulva}

{source – heart shaped vuvla}

*Totally NOT my vagina.

Not the same, but still fun:

I Can See Spencer Pratt Wearing This.

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:00:12 +0000

Hey Ladies,

This post is really, only for you. (sorry boys, but you’re really going to want to opt out on this one. Trust me.)

Okay friends, let’s talk. You know when you have one of those months where you wonder if your PMS is 3 weeks long or if that’s your shiny personality? Your period horns shoot out of your head earlier and earlier every cycle? Ever feel as though your uterus is being rung out from the inside, like a dirty dish rag? Ever think you’re giving birth to Spencer Pratt triplets?

Well this guy attempted, via the one night of the year where you can be anyone (or anything) you want to be.

Even a Panty Ninja.

He just picked the wrong time of the month.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

I can’t be certain, but I think the picture is drawn on toilet paper

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 00:50:28 +0000

Here’s a special one for you my lovelies.

Don’t say I never give you anything… um… Special.

Yes. Special, that’s it.

No need to thank me.

Really. There’s no need.

From the website:

Description:

TITLE: Self portrait on a used maxi pad.

MEDIUM: Panty Liner,Menstrual blood,acrylic,water colors and paper.

SIZE: 8 1/2 X 6 1/2,framed under glass.

But!

Oh! There’s a but alright.

STATUS: SOLD!!!

I sh!t you not.

Bet you’ve now got that burning desire to go craft some selfies, eh?

*shudder*

Thanks superfoodlamb for this one. I think….

{source}

Some more like this one:

Pucker Up!

Karen Sugarpants — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 11:22:48 +0000

“For your lips…”

Thanks Emily!

{source}

Some more like this one:

Vagina Dentata Feminist Sculpture

Karen Sugarpants — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:21:26 +0000

I have always been fascinated by the wacky forklore behind Vagina Dentata. There’s nothing more neato than imagining Teen Wolf in your Kitten Mitten.

This sculpture has a heart being handed out from the vagina in a femisist statement about hearts and sex and love and feminism. Is it obvious I have no idea what was meant by this?

Yeah. So. Carry on with your bad selves. I’ll be over here, crossing my legs, rocking in the corner.

Thanks so much for the nightmares, Kerrie!

{source}

{photo credit}

Some more like this one:

Painting Your Pink Velvet Sausage Wallet (NSFW)

Karen Sugarpants — Sun, 03 May 2009 23:10:50 +0000

You know, I’d love to think it’s really quaint this artist wants to paint my quim, but I think it’s a trick.

From the listing:

Celebrate your own beauty, and smile at the fact that when friends come over and compliment the painting they are complimenting your Vagina.

After purchasing send me a convo describing your Vagina: the shape of your inner and outer, colors, how much or how little your inner labia extend out from your outer labia, how well hidden your clitoris is, is it heavily hooded or can you see it fairly easily?
Send 4-5 pictures, all at similar but different angles, along with the description.

Please allow 3-4 days for production.

Convo me with any questions <3

*shudder*

Is it wrong that I imagine Gunther behind this listing?

Thanks Kerrie!

{source}

Some more like this one:

Aliens Among Us

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:34:18 +0000

There’s just so many things I could say about this mosaic, but honestly? I can’t get past the ginormous Homer Simpson head on the fetus or the random protruding ‘part’ at the nether regions of the lady.

I don’t know whether I should cry or get a hysterectomy.

Thanks Shigella!

{source}

Some more like this one:

Jam Out With Your Clam Out

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 21:37:21 +0000

Well hi there if you’re coming from Boing Boing! We’re thrilled they linked to us and that you are here. Did you know that YOU are our new favorite reader?

You should stick around. Take a look in the archives to see the plethra of craftastrophes we have posted since we started this site. Once we’ve made you laugh until you pee your pants, please subscribe to our feed and follow us on Twitter. If that isn’t enough to turn you on, you have a chance to win a sex toy from Eden’s Fantasy’s here. Now, on with the Vulva-licious post you came here for….

Prom is a special time for a girl; for many it signifies the transition to adulthood with a little Bow Chicka Wow Wow in a hotel room.

Prom night is the new wedding night. Take note.

Who the hell am I kidding!? That was so like 1980; kids are far more apt to do “It” anywhere these days. Billy’s car in the driveway outside her parent’s house? No problem! Jake’s pool while his parents lounge on the deck? Sure!

Whatever. I digress.

So picture it boys. Your hands are clammy with sweat as you approach the door. Before ringing the bell (Get it? Ring the bell? Gawd, I’m funny.) you wipe those sweaty palms down the legs of your pants.

Your date’s dad comes to the door, shotgun in hand and asks you a million questions, none of which you hear because over dad’s shoulder you see her coming down the stairs. A smile crosses your face because you know tonight’s The Night: you got That Feeling as soon as you saw her in this:

Nothing screams I’m losing my virginity tonight with a horny jock in the front seat of his car like a dress outfitted with LABIA.

There’s a little back story about this one. Apparently it’s gotten back to the original site that THERE’S A VAGINA ON THE FRONT OF THIS PROM DRESS! and they’ve edited the photo to remove the VAGINA.

It’s now changed to this:

Which now clearly shows that the vagina as crawled back up inside – like a snail retreats into its shell when it feels attacked.

But now I question if the actual dress design has been altered or the unknowing purchaser of said dress will find out there are VAGINA LIPS on her dress once it’s purchased and received?

Because really? The name just says it all: Sweetheart Asymmetrical Satin Prom / Evening Dress? Why not Satin Prom Dress a la Vag?

Poor unsuspecting Suzie had no idea that she would literally Jam Out With Her Clam Out at prom this year.

Thanks Mom-O-Matic!!

{ source / original site }