Craftastrophe » Lady Bits and Pieces

{Mildly NSFW} If You Didn’t Already Know What a Merkin Is…You Are Welcome

Cat Rocketship — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:30:08 +0000

These unique fuzzy merkins come in a variety of colors (and cuts)! They look to be really nicely made pieces, but so bizarre that they deserve a feature. And WOW they do not pop out as big sellers.

I don’t know. Maybe a lonely heart somewhere will stumble upon this listing and fuzzy faux-fur merkins will become her new secret fetish. She will don a different color every day and keep it secretly hidden under her sweatpants. It will give her the inner confidence to change her life. Her merkin will be the Towanda to her Kathy Bates. (Am I the only one who recently watched Fried Green Tomatoes?)

{Source}

Cat Rocketship is an artist, who just had to add “merkin” to her web browser’s dictionary.

Some more like this one:

{NSFW} Bust of the Artist’s Mistress

Cat Rocketship — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 21:30:14 +0000

It’s the price that always gets me on these things: for $1,700, this fine wooden sculpture of titties can make your desk a less lonely place.

“Hand sculpted wooden, life-size bust of the artist’s mistress.
For many years she sat upon my desk, conjuring up many a nostalgic reminiscence from a time when this smooth wooden sculpture here before me was subtle flesh, filling the air with a touch of Shalimar and palpable desire.
Young men were honored and felt somewhat gifted to be in the presence of a Liz Taylor look-alike dressed up like a sweet hippie in estrus.”

And now I know that you are thinking, “Of course I want to buy a likeness of a sweet hippie in estrus. But what would I do with a boobie sculpture? Surely my wife would not approve!”

Fear not, the artist has thought of everything: There is apparently built in storage of some sort, which should make it okay in onlookers’ eyes. That, or you can point each tata independently. Either way, this is clearly a must-add for your art collection.

{Source}

Cat Rocketship is an artist, but doesn’t believe that boobs should be the only feature in a work of art.

Some more like this one:

It’s a Special Lady Time on Craftastrophe!

suebob — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 16:05:35 +0000

Personally, I prefer not to think about tampons more than I have to. Apparently I’m in the minority, because there is all kinds of lovely tampon art on Etsy.com.

Give kitty his own play-tampon, complete with felt blood! This may actually be genius, since cats are always dragging real tampons out of the trash and playing with them…

This next tampon is suggested as a gift for ladies who have passed menopause as kind of an honor, but I can think of PLENTY of other people who might need a “Golden Tampon Lifetime Achievement Award”. Let your imagination be your guide.

You may have heard the unfortunate term “Vajazzling” lately. I think this person may have got that idea a little twisted up in their head and put the jewels right on the tampon, bypassing the Vajayjay completely:

Do NOT attempt to use this lest you severely injure your Special Panty Parts.

{Source} Kitty Tampon Toy

{Source} Golden Tampon Award

{Source} Bedazzled Tampon Finger Puppet

Suebob denies writing this post under the influence of PMS.

Not the same, but still fun:

What Would You Do If You Had This in Your Panties?

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 01:21:22 +0000

I tell you what, if I found a mole on my vagina that looked like this, I would burn my entire vagina clean off.

Meet the Aretha Spanklin Vagina Mole. Yeah, I don’t know either.

Thanks Nicole!

{source}

Some more like this one:

Keep Yourself Warm: Wrap Your Boobs Around You

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:10:20 +0000

Don’t laugh, young whippersnappers, some of us old ladies can do that. And they come in different colours:

Want people on the street to do a double take? Wear this all winter! I know a few hockey dads at the rink that would LOVE this boob scarf.

Thanks Gabrielle for making me spit coffee all over my laptop!

{source}

Some more like this one:

And then I bleached my retinas…

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 02:09:09 +0000

Whether you’ve been to a strip club or not, I’m sure you can imagine what those ladies can do with a stripper pole. All that upper body strength? Leg wrapping techniques?

Uh. Nevermind.

Hey, mommy? What’s on your necklace?!

“Oh, nothing sweetie. It’s just a dancing lady.”

A wee little nekkid lady.

Uhhhhhh. Riiiiiiight.

I’ll contack you right after you clean that stripper pole. It’s a little too authentic for me.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

The Eyes of Frida

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:43:10 +0000

I don’t know, maybe I’m stating the obvious here…but that kinda looks like a penis in (its) mouth, and maybe vagina eyes?

Either way. I am scarred for life. FOR SERIOUS.

From the listing:

For the love of Frida and her ever lasting existence, when the consciousness ceases, the mind has die [sic], but not the imagination.

I think this person’s imagination could use a vacation.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

The Penistron Will Allow You To Have Sex Online

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:21:33 +0000

Fantastic.

I can think of a dozen other inventions I’d like to ask Japan to work on. Like a thing that will fold and put away laundry. Or something to make me skinny the more sugar and crap I eat. HOW ABOUT THAT, JAPAN?

Not the same, but still fun:

Like tube socks and oranges

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:00:32 +0000

Do your boobs hang low?

Do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie them in a knot?

Can you tie them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder

like a Continental Solider

Do your boobs hang low?

Thanks Karen and Burgh Baby!!

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Who knew you liked vagina so much!?

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:07:02 +0000

We’ve featured this artist here before, but DAAAYUM you’all REALLY want to see what we have to say about another one of her items that’s been making it’s way around the interwebs.

It’s been featured quite a few places as of late – including one of our favourites - mad props to Buzzfeed! - but it’s so fun we just can’t pass it up.

Who knew you liked vagina so much!?

Sorry to those of you whom may have had your vagina replicated and it’s featured here. Ever more so if yours is the one I referred to as “moldy”.

This ones for you our lovely Craftastrophe followers, because without you none of this would have been possible.

Uhhh… my vagina* loves you?

Thanks fidget, Shannna, Cyndie, Josh & Allison, and my girl PrincessJenn

{source – replica vulva}

{source – heart shaped vuvla}

*Totally NOT my vagina.