My inspiration for this pattern was a request from a man that wanted something new and fun to wear. He was delighted with the outcome and I believe your man will be, too.
Make some up for the Valentine in your life. Make them for fun. Make them for profit if you want to. Or, just make them for you.
Somehow that sets off my BS detector. Every man I know would rather let Perez Hilton wax their legs than wear something like this. But maybe that’s just out here on the West Coast. Men in Oklahoma City are probably begging for crocheted jockstraps. You know how that humidity gets to you. This would at least alleviate the dreaded “sticking to the leg” problem.
Please note that this is just a pattern, not the item. Twig and berries not included.
Sick of anatomy text books and anatomically correct plastic body parts? Then look no further! Motherhendoula is here to save the day with this incredibly life-like kntit placenta!
Look, everyone knows that the best way to get a real feel for the majesty of childbirth (or any science) is through the medium of knitting. Pre-med programs have had crochet based lab sections for years, and all the most prestigious residencies feature knitted doll surgery rooms. If you’re considering a career in medicine you’d better be sure you’ve got the hang of continental knitting or you’re going to have a difficult first year! Throwing is so high school.
Not only is this knitted placenta a valuable contribution to the scientific community, it’s “Hand knit from 100% acrylic yarn, this placenta features a ‘rough side’ made from suede yarn, and a ‘smooth side’ made from Sateen finish yarn. The umbilical cord clearly shows the arteries and one vein extending to the ‘baby.’ Made to order, takes about two weeks to deliver.”
I’ll take 2 weeks over 9 months any day (eey-oh!)! And besides, who wants something as complicated as this?
All that realism looks so confusing! And you can’t even use is as a pillow or a night time cuddle buddy! I bet if you threw this placenta at someone, it would hurt when it hit them! Cauliflower hoodads and whatnots? No thanks!
When I think of pushing a baby out of one of my smallest orifices I have one thought and one thought alone: give me a medical professional educated primarily in pink and burgundy acrylic, or give me death!
This weekend when hanging out with a wise friend, I was privy to this gem of an observation: “If you have trouble developing an interesting personality that’s another thing you’ll probably try–wearing a crazy hat.”
Or possibly making one! (And then trying to sell it for $450).
This hat is the most ridiculously ugly joker hat I’ve ever seen, which is saying a lot because I’ve also seen Fremont Street, Times Square, and the Castro during Gay Pride. No joker-hat-wearing fool in any of those locations had a thing on this primary colored monstrosity.
Today is St. Patrick’s Day and even those without a touch o’ Irish pumping through their veins seem to be celebrating. I mean, it’s a free pass to inhale corned beef and Guinness right? But if partaking in traditional food and drink seem too commonplace for you, if you’re really looking to spice it up a bit, then might I suggest this lovely little number:
I mean really. You won’t even NEED a shirt that says ”Kiss me, I’m Irish!” because the ladies will come a’ chargin’!
Do you happen to have $44 spare dollars and a need for 6 feet of useless craftastrophe goodness!? Then this knitted power cord is perfect for you!
The seller says:
“This is a fun, yellow knitted power cord! It can be worn as a decorative skinny scarf, or even a decorative belt. Use it to pull back your curtains or replace that boring old tie. Whatever you choose to do, let your imagination lead the way!”
Uhhhh, they know it’s SIX FEET LONG, right? That’s the weirdest longest tie, belt or scarf I’ve ever seen! But be careful, she tangles in the washing machine!
Who would spend so much time making such an odd item? Oh, must have been this guy:
Dang, the recession must have really hit Andre 3000!
My inspiration for this pattern was a request from a man that wanted something new and fun to wear. He was delighted with the outcome and I believe your man will be, too.
