Craftastrophe » Knitting Nightmare

Gritty Knitty

Gillian — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:00:55 +0000

Do you happen to have $44 spare dollars and a need for 6 feet of useless craftastrophe goodness!? Then this knitted power cord is perfect for you!

The seller says:

“This is a fun, yellow knitted power cord! It can be worn as a decorative skinny scarf, or even a decorative belt. Use it to pull back your curtains or replace that boring old tie. Whatever you choose to do, let your imagination lead the way!”

Uhhhh, they know it’s SIX FEET LONG, right? That’s the weirdest longest tie, belt or scarf I’ve ever seen! But be careful, she tangles in the washing machine!

Who would spend so much time making such an odd item? Oh, must have been this guy:

Dang, the recession must have really hit Andre 3000!

{source} (Thanks Reader Cari!)

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Gillian Wright keeps it real about kids, crafts, organizing, and (lack of) housework at Mrs. Wright, Gone Wrong.

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Itchin’ Knittin’

Karen Sugarpants — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:00:46 +0000

There are 15 more pictures where this came from…and not all of them are pretty. In fact, most of them make me want to run into a fire. Prepare to be REALLY itchy.

Thanks Sara!

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Voulez Vouz CROCHET Avec Moi, Ce Soir?

Karen Sugarpants — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:23:52 +0000

Well if I wore this one, at least it would distract from my back fat. But wait! Wait till you see the front. For some reason it reminds me of a full ashtray:

Thanks Charity!

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It’s amazing what could be hiding in your toile {NSFW}

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 00:33:07 +0000

Yes Mama, they are Dirty Pillows.

For 95.00, I’ll take two.

One teabag and one butt sex. Oh wait!

Yes! It’s a two-fer.

Threesome FTW!

Honestly? I don’t find the images nearly as disturbing as her mouth…

Pillows are handmade and embroidered on vintage fabric.
Pillow measures 11&1/2″x14″

I used to stare at the images in my grandma’s toile wallpaper – there was NEVER an image quite like that.

Not that it would make any difference, but I am curious to know if the fabric is vintage bedspreads from a sleazebag motel….

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Ever have those annoying seat partners that never shut up? Like, NEVER?!

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:00:00 +0000

I’d use it to keep my head propped upright; or stick it on the talker next to me and blow it up to the point where they could no longer breathe talk.

Either way: $170.00 Blow up neck warmer / brace FTW!

Thanks Cari for showing us this store!

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Like tube socks and oranges

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:00:32 +0000

Do your boobs hang low?

Do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie them in a knot?

Can you tie them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder

like a Continental Solider

Do your boobs hang low?

Thanks Karen and Burgh Baby!!

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Not the same, but still fun:

On the fringe…

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 23:46:54 +0000

Me thinks they miss understood the meaning of ‘cutting edge’….

Thanks Casey!

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P.S. There are some really gorgeous items at this seller’s shop. If you buy anything, please let me know… so I can live vicariously through you.

Not the same, but still fun:

Peen Cushion

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:45:32 +0000

** Have you entered our fabulous giveaway for a 75 dollar gift certificate to Eden Fantasys? Time’s running out!**

:::

Nothing like laying down on the couch to watch a good movie and end up getting dick in the ear.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Crochet, Halloween Style

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:02:10 +0000

I’ve really developed a penchant for crochet.

There aren’t a lot of pieces I dislike anymore. Hell, even doilies are on my nice list.

There’s something to be said for the talent that goes into a lot of the pieces people create. The meticulous and painstaking care put into some of their work is clearly is evident.

Some? It’s definitely there, but just not as easy to see.

Sometimes the phrase “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” just doesn’t do justice.

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Birds of a Feather, kinda.

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:29:55 +0000

I imagine walking down a busy city street on a brisk cool morning. Cloaked in my trench coat and a hat, the leaves crunch under my feet as the season’s first frost has crystallized the fallen, orange and red.

Then it happens.

The birds.

They start bopping their heads as their skinny little legs shuffle their fat over stuffed bodies in my direction.

One takes flight.

Then another, and another…

My hat!!!

I suppose it’s really a good option for all those left over pieces of yarn….

Also? So something I could make.

I have NO talent whatsoever – but that’s neither here nor there because this ‘pattern’ is one ANYONE could use, right?

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