Jewelry Not Found in Great Aunt Mary’s Vanity

To YOU it may be a “statement necklace.” To me, it’s something that is going to get caught in a whirring gear, drag me into the machine, and snap my neck, leaving me dead, tragically young, and beautiful. Well, one out of three, anyway.

Messy green necklace

Rubber jewelry is light weight, versatile and fun to wear. This piece combines black and purple buttons with seaweed green rubber to create a dramatic statement.

So, dear readers – do tell – what IS the statement this necklace is making?

{Source} Marked down from $55 to $49.50 for the thrifty

Posted by suebob on December 26, 2011
Jewelry Not Found in Great Aunt Mary's Vanity,poptastrophe,Recyled Rejects |

{ 4 Comments }

Sometimes don’t you just want to say:

PUT DOWN THE WIRE AND MAKE SOME REAL CRAFTS.

Those three were bad, but this one makes me furious:

This is a great necklace. Wire wrapped ball looks like a fabulous ball of yarn. Hanging from an 18 inch Sterling silver chain, it is sure to delight! The perfect gift for the knitter in your life!

It is NOT a fabulous ball of yarn. It is some damned wire rolled in a ball, and no matter how hard you try to make it something else, that is all it will ever be. Gah. You are DISMISSED.

{Source} As if.

Posted by suebob on December 12, 2011
For The Insane,Guess This Mess!,I Want to Punch a Crafter,Jewelry Not Found in Great Aunt Mary's Vanity |

{ 1 Comment }

I’m a bit of a safety nut. I’m always anticipating the worst thing that could happen. Basically, I’m my father’s daughter. So when I saw this chunky glass choker:

My first thought was “I hope that thing is tempered! What if it broke? What if you tripped? What if someone knocked into you? Oh, the humanity!”

I can personally guarantee you that no one will be wearing anything close to it! Only you!

Ya think?

{Source} $750, any glass removal surgery extra

Posted by suebob on December 11, 2011
Christmas Puts the FUN in DysFUNctional,Jewelry Not Found in Great Aunt Mary's Vanity |

{ Comments are closed. }

File under: stuff that makes me bang my head on my desk.

Note to genius designer – hands were meant to be USED, not to have their fingers yoked together in some kind of modern finger slavery.

And then someone ate a bird, guts, feathers and all, and then coughed it up on your hand. “Tribal” my butt.

{Source}

Posted by suebob on December 2, 2011
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe,For The Insane,I Want to Punch a Crafter,Jewelry Not Found in Great Aunt Mary's Vanity |

{ 2 Comments }

Ok, it’s whimsical, it’s a “statement” necklace (I HAAAATE that term), it’s meant to be cute and charming. But you know what turns this necklace from merely annoying into a real Craftastrophe?

The white spots. They didn’t bother to get out their Exacto or jigsaw or what-have-you and trim out the white spots. That drives me crayzeeeeeee. Quality counts, people. Show your work.
{Source} $59 worth of Flying Acrobats