Next to a macaroni necklace, this has to be just about the best thing I’ve ever seen.

Adding these babies to my Mother’s Day wish list!

Matching bracelet anyone?

Thanks Diamondseed for this one, and the fabulous comment: “I know exactly how much effort went into that necklace… thing.  Exactly how many hours the seller had to look at it and go “wow, this looks more than obnoxious” and just stop.  And she didn’t.”

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What do you do when you friend mails you a HUGE box of cicada shells?

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I love my children more than anything, but I am not one of those people who keep their umbilical cord, first curl or teeth.

Yes, I’m looking at you.

No thank you, not me. There’s just something about keeping molted part and pieces I find extremely eerie and demented.

Yes. I am looking at you.

Why not nail clippings to while you’re at it?

Yes. YOU.

But I digress.

Someone, somewhere will find this to be a fabulous idea.

Kinda like hanging their baby’s first shoe from the rear view mirror, only NOT.

This is a pair of Victorian inspired blackened cameo Genuine baby teeth earrings. The teeth have been cleaned and sanitized and are set on a black velvet pillow resting on a blackened cameo.

Yes, ladies you can wear your child’s molars on your ears.

The ultimate Helicopter Mom gift, if you ask me.

:: shudder ::

Mother’s Day is coming up. Too old? Meh. Just get in a bar fight or slug someone during a hockey game then just glue those babies on a set of earrings.

Thanks Candace Trew Calming for sending us this one!

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Groundhog Day, the day of the year where we rip a helpless, fat animal from the confines of its warm and cozy hole only to shake it about in freezing cold to see if the sun radiates off its back.

Sounds like I could be describing something entirely different, doesn’t it?

All for human entertainment we subject these useless fat animals to cameras, lights, screams and jeers from throngs of people who surround them hoping for a prediction of a shorter winter.

If you want to know if winter’s going to be shorter, go stand outside and see if your shadow is visible, works the same, no? Silly human.

Know what I’d love to see?

That stupid man dressed in a tux and top hat that gets attacked by a rabid Cujo-like gopher groundhog.

Then I would wear it in my hair.

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I’m alright with breastfeeding. I mean, it’s not my favourite thing in the whole world – I’d definitely take pizza and beer over having a child suck milk from my tatas – so I’m not entirely partial to the idea of preserving my milk forever.

A token of remembrance for the time that my infant sons breastfed? Um.. aren’t they token enough? The proof that my milk was substantial enough to sustain a human life?

Besides, wouldn’t it be a little uncomfortable when my boys reach their teens and I explain to them that I expressed my milk in a container and mailed it off to some stranger to encase in resin to memorialize it?

I shudder at the thought. But, then again, it’s only my thought because I’m sure there are some people out there that think it’s a marvelous idea and wish they had done it while they were nursing.

(Hmmm…. maybe I can make a buck or two selling those ladies my lactation?)

Breastfeeding has changed my life, expanded my mind, and connected me to my boys in ways I could have never imagined. I am so very passionate about my children and amazed that my milk has helped them grow so beautifully. What an extraordinary power to MAKE MILK, and I woud(sic) do anything to preserve that forever.

I’ve never put that much thought into it. I mean sure, it’s a fact of life, mammals do that, I just don’t know that I could be that passionate about a liquid I can shoot from my breast up to a distance of four feet. Not that I’ve tried or anything because that would just be truly disturbing. Nor have I used it to fend of sexual advances from my husband. Nope. Not ever.

You will need to ship your milk to me. I only need a small amount, aprox around a tablespoon, and it needs to be shipped securely in a sealed bag, breastmilk bags have worked well as they are thick (double bagging is helpful).

I wonder if I’m allowed to send liquid cross border? You think the border guards would have the FBI hunt me down for shipping breast milk? Throw me in jail – Guantanamo Bay – for trying to export a “dangerous” substance into the US?

My breasts. Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Thanks to Rockle for sending us this one.

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