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It’s Like Scrubbing Your Nethers With a Dirtier Bar of Soap

I am horrible at buying Christmas gifts. I read far too much into my purchasing. Are they going to like this? What if they already have one? What are they going to think when they open this? Will they think this is ugly? Seriously. I am consumed with anxiety when it comes to Christmas shopping.

Sometimes I buy soaps and shampoo gift baskets for people and then wonder if they’re going to think that I think they stink and this is my way of telling them that they should definitely shower more.

See? Anxiety.

This one? This is a safe bet that someone would be a little pissed at me.

rat soap Its Like Scrubbing Your Nethers With a Dirtier Bar of Soap

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on December 6, 2008
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe, Christmas Puts the FUN in DysFUNctional, Disturbing Things We Should Never Own, Holiday! Celebrate!, We Wish You a Merry Christmas...and Minimal Therapy |
{ 8 Comments }

Turkey in the Straw

I saw these…

turkey earrings1 Turkey in the Straw

…and couldn’t get the damn Turkey in the Straw song out of my head.

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on November 26, 2008
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe, Disturbing Things We Should Never Own, For The Insane, Funnier Than a Shart in a Spacesuit, Holiday! Celebrate!, Jewelry Not Found in Great Aunt Mary's Vanity |
{ 3 Comments }

Horn of (Missing the) Plenty

When someone says cornucopia I envision corns. On your feet. Needless to say, I hate that word. I prefer Horn of Plenty.

Though, horn still sounds like corn. Whatevs.

But this? This horn of plenty is missing one thing.

The PLENTY.

cornicopia Horn of (Missing the) Plenty

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on
Fantastic Felt Up, Funnier Than a Shart in a Spacesuit, Holiday! Celebrate!, This Centerpiece Might Make Your Guests Coil in Fear |
{ 5 Comments }

Gobble, Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving to our dear friends to the south!

May your guts expand with fowl and you fall asleep with your pants undone with friends and family close by.

Eat some pumpkin pie for me – extra whip puhlease!

Now!

On with the fugly turkeys!

turkey Gobble, Gobble!

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe, Fantastic Felt Up, Funnier Than a Shart in a Spacesuit, Holiday! Celebrate!, Pet Clothes Are Stoopid |
{ 3 Comments }

Deck the Halls with …placenta??

newbornwplacenta 199x300 Deck the Halls with ...placenta??

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Posted by Karen Sugarpants on November 18, 2008
For The Insane, Holiday! Celebrate!, Knitting Nightmare, Ornamental Psychosis, Stranger Than a Duck Wearing a Thong, Um. WTF?, We Wish You a Merry Christmas...and Minimal Therapy |
{ 13 Comments }

Paying For Therapy

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The Toddlerpede doll sculpture (left) was created by Jon Beinart.




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