Groundhog Day, the day of the year where we rip a helpless, fat animal from the confines of its warm and cozy hole only to shake it about in freezing cold to see if the sun radiates off its back.

Sounds like I could be describing something entirely different, doesn’t it?

All for human entertainment we subject these useless fat animals to cameras, lights, screams and jeers from throngs of people who surround them hoping for a prediction of a shorter winter.

If you want to know if winter’s going to be shorter, go stand outside and see if your shadow is visible, works the same, no? Silly human.

Know what I’d love to see?

That stupid man dressed in a tux and top hat that gets attacked by a rabid Cujo-like gopher groundhog.

Then I would wear it in my hair.

{ pendant source }

{ portrait source }

Don’t be confused by the screws and metal in the background. This is a HAIR BARRETTE.

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Oh Suebob – the things you find.

Princess Leia totally sucks tentacles compared to this piece of work.  Come home with me baby.

These bows are bad ass. What do I say? They really need no explanation, do they?

It’s a black bow.

With a Pig. A pig that is so large it practically IS the bow.

A pig with a bow. On a bow.

The randomly placed ice cream and watermelon make me crave them. I want to shove them in my cramhole.

(Um. That’s my mouth. My mouth is my cramhole.)

The adorableness of this next bow makes me think of Sarah Palin.

Huh? Sarah Palin? Yes. Sarah Palin. I think it’s the polar bear that does it.

A big burly craptastical plastic polar bear HOT GLUED to the centre. (Yes. CentRE. CANADIAN, yo.)

A polar bear that dropped a douce on the star.

(No, not Dooce. Douce.)

Note the plate people. Note the plate.

Behold! The Magical Staging Plate, because these bows would be nothing without a staging plate.