Me thinks you put the knee pads on the wrong side, Sweetie!

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For the beloved man in your life. The one that inseminated you then sat back and watched as you birthed a watermelon-sized child from your tender pink lady bits.

The one that said he was not going to have that vasectomy and “why don’t you just get your tubes tied instead”.

The one that you threatened to remove his parts all together if he didn’t suck it up and just get it done already.

Um… maybe I’m projecting a little too much.

ANY- way…

Have a happy vasectomy!

*If* that story were about me, I may, or may not, consider giving him this beautiful card, with a bag of frozen peas.

From the listing:

This is a handmade card and envelope set featuring an illustration of a the male anatomy from a vintage anatomy book. This card is the perfect gift for the sexy man in your life! Celebrate the magic of reproductive anatomy with this CUNTastic card!

“Cuntastic”? Really? Interesting choice of words… and here I thought we were talking about peen…

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These (regurgitated) polymer clay caca faces are ready to add to your art dolls compost or any other craft project which will soon be burned beyond recognition.

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Yes! Yes! Oh, GOD, YES!!

Thanks Linda!!

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Rico is a rock star! He rocks so hard, he rocks two animal prints at once!

Rico is made of bright blue leopard print velboa (fake fur). All of his facial features are hand sewn, from his zebra ears and goatee, to his green felt flaming eye shadow and purple button eyes, right down to his rock-star blue and yellow plaid lips!

Rico’s big mouth isn’t just for thrashin’ vocals, but big enough to stash a few small treasures of your own. Rico is stuffed just enough to be buff, but not so tough he can’t stand a hug or two. His massive fleece tongue also pulls out for major attitude! You know what they say about rock stars…

Um. That’s a bit of an open ended question, isn’t it?

Looks to me like he’s barfing out his insides rather than showing off a Rock N’ Roll tongue.

Rico, you’re so suave.

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