Craftastrophe » Guaranteed Not to Improve Your Report Card

Glitter Regurgitation

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:00:07 +0000

These (regurgitated) polymer clay caca faces are ready to add to your art dolls compost or any other craft project which will soon be burned beyond recognition.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Would you…

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:14:49 +0000

Yes! Yes! Oh, GOD, YES!!

Thanks Linda!!

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Not the same, but still fun:

Rico is Suave

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 17:00:18 +0000

Rico is a rock star! He rocks so hard, he rocks two animal prints at once!

Rico is made of bright blue leopard print velboa (fake fur). All of his facial features are hand sewn, from his zebra ears and goatee, to his green felt flaming eye shadow and purple button eyes, right down to his rock-star blue and yellow plaid lips!

Rico’s big mouth isn’t just for thrashin’ vocals, but big enough to stash a few small treasures of your own. Rico is stuffed just enough to be buff, but not so tough he can’t stand a hug or two. His massive fleece tongue also pulls out for major attitude! You know what they say about rock stars…

Um. That’s a bit of an open ended question, isn’t it?

Looks to me like he’s barfing out his insides rather than showing off a Rock N’ Roll tongue.

Rico, you’re so suave.

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Afternoon crafts of the fetish variety {Surprisingly still SFW}

sam {temptingmama} — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:00:53 +0000

Sprinkle a little of this; add some tissue paper here, drizzle some paint and VOILA!

An old, upcycled collage of the slightly fetish variety…

SUPPORT: cardstock, mounted on posterboard

MEDIUM: ephemera, tape, stickers, fishnet, netting, nail polish, markers, staples, gluestick

APPROXIMATE SIZE: 12″ high by 7 1/8″ wide (30.5 by 18.4 cms.)

DATE COMPLETED: March 18th, 2008

Untreated

Not from a smoke-free environment.

Huh. Ya don’t say.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Crochet, Halloween Style

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:02:10 +0000

I’ve really developed a penchant for crochet.

There aren’t a lot of pieces I dislike anymore. Hell, even doilies are on my nice list.

There’s something to be said for the talent that goes into a lot of the pieces people create. The meticulous and painstaking care put into some of their work is clearly is evident.

Some? It’s definitely there, but just not as easy to see.

Sometimes the phrase “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” just doesn’t do justice.

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I wanna be just like Flava Flav

sam {temptingmama} — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:00:36 +0000

I just can’t think of one occasion for where this may be suitable.

Guess that just makes me a straight edged stick in the mud, because really? I mean. You could wear mold just about anywhere. Right?

Don’t get me wrong. It’s cute, and well crafted; just… uh…. WHY?

I just can’t decide if it’s the moldy bread or the intestinal tract I like better.

Another thing…When I first read the dimensions I saw 4.5 and immediately thought inches (even though it’s actually centimeters) – and 4.5 inches? THAT’S HUGE. You’d be walkin’ around like Fava Flav with those intestines dangling from a gaudy chain.

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Then you could be all: FLLLAAVVVVAAA FLAAAAV. But not.

P.S. Flava Flav is 50!!!?! WTF!?

P.P.S. I feel old.

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Birds of a Feather, kinda.

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:29:55 +0000

I imagine walking down a busy city street on a brisk cool morning. Cloaked in my trench coat and a hat, the leaves crunch under my feet as the season’s first frost has crystallized the fallen, orange and red.

Then it happens.

The birds.

They start bopping their heads as their skinny little legs shuffle their fat over stuffed bodies in my direction.

One takes flight.

Then another, and another…

My hat!!!

I suppose it’s really a good option for all those left over pieces of yarn….

Also? So something I could make.

I have NO talent whatsoever – but that’s neither here nor there because this ‘pattern’ is one ANYONE could use, right?

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Whatever you do, do NOT touch the good silver

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:20:42 +0000

“She never uses this one. I bet she won’t even notice it’s gone… This is going to be so awesome! She’s going to love it. This and the cutlery from the china cabinet? She hasn’t used that in forever! So amazing. I’m brilliant!”

:::

“Honey! Have you seen my tea pot? The Jones’ are going to be here soon! I need the good tea pot. I can’t serve Betty tea is this old thing. I’ll be the talk of the euchre club. – Speaking of the tea pot, all my cutlery is gone too!”

“Nope, sweetie! Haven’t seen them.”

*whispers* Ah crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!

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Just because you can….

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:58:23 +0000

Does NOT mean you should.

70’s called. They want their shorts back.

BTW. I bet these babies would give ya a TOTAL camel toe. Just sayin’.

Who wears short shorts!?

*scritch, scritch, scritch* I just don’t know…. I think it may be um… HOT and well, itchy. Knitted thong? Ya. Um. I… No.

Hot pants {source}, Shorts {source}, Intimates {source}

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Gaia Birdhouse

Karen Sugarpants — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:43:13 +0000

And by Gaia, I mean blow-up doll. *gasp*

Thanks Diamond!

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