Happy Labor Day! Doubtlessly you’re already chilling the beer and forming the patties for this afternoon’s barbecue. In fact, I bet you’re already exhausted. Well never fear! I’ve found the solution. Sit right down on your Footstool and take a load off.
For little more than a c-note, you can plop your tired booty atop a pair of legs amputated just just below the knee. And the shoes? Those are honest to genuine Lugz. Apparently I’m not hip enough to know what that means. No, I must bow to the hipness of a person that chooses to embroider a pair of hamburgers on denim pants.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I were talking about the ridiculousness of the term “sex positive.” If you’re unfamiliar with it (because you don’t live in the hipster-and-hippie-fied SF Bay) it can mean anything from “I have an open mind about sex” to “I’m a fetish crazy swinger with sex toys mounted to three of my four living room walls.” Basically (as Oleg put it) “I’m not a repressed Christian zealot.” It’s one of those terms that’s inherently unnecessary–who doesn’t feel positively toward sex (apart from the aforementioned repressed religious types)?–but that people have decided they really, really like throwing around. They also like to use it (as previously mentioned) to describe a stupidly wide range of attitudes, which is why it reminds me of another term I’ve come to loathe: objet d’art.
Literally meaning “object of art,” this term has been taken over by anyone and everyone that’s ever made something ridiculous and wanted to make it sound fancy. And since it technically covers a pretty big group of things–any object that you can consider “art,” which is basically any object–people have thrown it around to the point that it’s been rendered absolutely meaningless.
How can I be sure it’s lost all meaning? Because that’s how someone described this garish patriotic explosion, titled “handbeaded AH HA BARRETTE.”
A grown-up “conversation piece… you’re going to be talked about flaunting this “after one’s own heart” object d’art
(It’s classy by it’s own sassy self but it’s a swingy, beady eye catchy standout in a hairdo too!)
I can imagine what people will say when they mention my object d’art (way to know your terminologies!) and I’m guessing most of their statements will be made while giggling behind my back and will probably include things like aren’t there laws about flag desecration? and wearing that barrette does not mean we are going to call you Miss America.
I also love the parenthetical nod being classy. Know what’s classy? Simple shapes in basic shades–black, white, brown. Clean lines. Quality components. Basically, things that are not made of shiny red plastic stars and Fimo clay.
And I can’t fathom what you’re supposed to do with this thing apart from wear it in your hair. I mean, I’d never wear this in my hair because I don’t want to look like I’m vomiting stars and stripes out of my skull, but that write up seems to suggest that there are other options. Am I going to lay it on my desk at work? Should I hang it on the wall? Or maybe it can be like those car testicles and dangle from the underside of my Nissan.
Whatever it is, I’d better be able to do something with it if it’s going to cost me a cool $50.
Hermann Rorschach was born in 1884. He started showing inkblot pictures to children and analyzing their responses around 1910. In 1921 he published his book, Psychodiagnostik, that formed the basis for the diagnostic ink blot test. From his work, John E. Exner created the Exner Scoring System, which is to this day used with Rorschach’s inkblot tests in criminal investigations and mental health facilities around the world.
The woman who painted this sign might benefit from some Rorschach analysis.
Call me immature, or maybe oversexed, but when I first saw this there was only one word that came to mind and it was not Halloween.
While I wish its creator was a brilliant, devious mastermind who purposefully painted this equivalent of a folk art Rorschach and then posted it on Etsy for $110, I don’t think that’s the case. The rest of her work is whimsical and cute, and she sounds like a lovely, oblivious woman who has no idea that this piece looks like a 1970′s vagina.
I bet she also fails to see the irony of the “Welcome to Sleepy Hollow” sign.
Clogs. We should have left them behind when rubber first graced the soles of our feet. Clogs had faded out for many years, until the advent of Crocs. Today, we see the worst thing to infect feet of the world since the wretched day that Crocs sold their first pair:
Nipple clogs.
Pierced nipple clogs.
Go. Be with your families. For surely this is a sign of the end of times.
This is my favorite thing ever. Not because its so craftastrophic , though let’s examine that for a minute:
1. Art deco color scheme
2. Elvis head with Beethoven moniker.
3. Inexplicable dripping head syndrome.
All of these things equal pure Craftastrophe gold, and yet these are not what I like best about this piece.
What I like best is the write up.
This sculpture is of a young Beethoven and was hand sculpted and hand painted by Titano Art (artists Scott O’Connor and David Kwon)
This sculpture won the 2010 Matthew Hussein Award for Innovation! It was selected from a field of 77 artists, some of whom entered more than one sculpture! Here is what renowned art critic Adele Padgett had to say about the sculpture at the award ceremony: “These artists have used a very innovative style in this piece. They have achieved extremely accurate proportions but also used blacks where there are already natural shadows and whites where there are already natural highlights for emphasis. A dripping effect on the face also gives the viewer an accurate feeling that Beethoven was a tragic figure. The effect is truly stunning, and I believe Matthew Hussein would be very happy with this year’s winning piece if he were still alive.” Since nobody knows for sure what Beethoven looked like when he was younger, reference pictures of an older Beethoven, Elvis, and Robert Pattinson were used.
This sculpture is of a young Beethoven and was hand sculpted and hand painted by Titano Art (artists Scott O’Connor and David Kwon)
This sculpture won the 2010 Matthew Hussein Award for Innovation! It was selected from a field of 77 artists, some of whom entered more than one sculpture! Here is what renowned art critic Adele Padgett had to say about the sculpture at the award ceremony: “These artists have used a very innovative style in this piece. They have achieved extremely accurate proportions but also used blacks where there are already natural shadows and whites where there are already natural highlights for emphasis. A dripping effect on the face also gives the viewer an accurate feeling that Beethoven was a tragic figure. The effect is truly stunning, and I believe Matthew Hussein would be very happy with this year’s winning piece if he were still alive.” Since nobody knows for sure what Beethoven looked like when he was younger, reference pictures of an older Beethoven, Elvis, and Robert Pattinson were used.
Of all the information provided in this blurb, the only thing that actually coughed up any Google search results was “Titano Art,” which points you to a bedraggled Myspace page with an out of date Ebay listing. Everything else appears to be made up.
