Craftastrophe » Funnier Than a Shart in a Spacesuit

AND THEN I DRANK ALL THE COFFEE!!!!

suebob — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 14:41:28 +0000

This is one wired, wide-awake wiener dog!

{Source} $50 and 10 trips in a row through the Starbucks drive-thru

Not the same, but still fun:

Action Heroes

suebob — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 14:00:49 +0000

There just isn’t enough art featuring Narwhals, IMO. And this art is from a rare action sequence of a shark-narhwal death battle!

I hope there isn’t some obvious cultural reference I’m missing. I don’t go to a lot of animal on animal action movies or read comics…

Love the artist’s description – you have to go to the source and read the whole thing, because it is that awesome. Here’s a sample:

So, what is this treasure that the narwhals protect and sharks want? It’s the recipe for Doritos. Oh, and I forgot to mention that narwhals will attack sharks because they’re jealous that there isn’t a Narwhal Week.

So anyways, that’s what’s going on in my painting. Check it out, though! Look at all that lightning! That sword is totally fucking sweet, too! It’s got a bat skull thingy!

{Source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Too depressing to consider

suebob — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:00:04 +0000

Due to my long and sordid dating history, my doll set would have to be so big that the outside one would be close to an actual life-size human.

Ex-Boyfriend Nesting Dolls

{Source} 100 depressing dollars

Not the same, but still fun:

Making it too easy

suebob — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 16:21:36 +0000

These were on etsy’s front page today:

They’re making it too easy. As someone who is celebrating New Years Day by being very lazy, I’d like to say thank you.
{Source} $28 warm and fuzzy dollars.

Not the same, but still fun:

Christmas Shopping: For Your Pervy Uncle

suebob — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:19:58 +0000

Well, hello there

I think this may be a Major Award.
{Source} $5500

Not the same, but still fun:

Christmas Idea: For the Parents of a Cute Little Monster

suebob — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 13:00:53 +0000

LOVE this:

{Source} 25 monstrous dollars

Some more like this one:

If I only had a…hat?

suebob — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:00:05 +0000

As Curly of the Three Stooges said “I try to think, but nothing happens!” Curly and I could both use one of these awesome brain hats:

Pattern is a free Ravelry download from Alicia Williams. Imagine the looks you’d get knitting this at the PTA meeting.

{Source}

Some more like this one:

It’s Not Like You Have Anything Better to Spend $500 On

Renee — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 17:25:04 +0000

God dammit, what the fuck is this?

Is that another animal hat?

Is your head supposed to be going into its ass, or coming out of it?

Wait, what?

It’s not just a hat?

Alice is a fluffyAustralian Koala wearable puppet hat. Wearing her own Trashion hat, made from ‘Plarn’.

Totally unique.
One Of A Kind.

A ‘double take’ hat-puppet,it was my entry in the 2008 Alice Springs Beanie Festival’s International Competition.

‘Alice’ won a close second in the People’s Choice Award, narrowly missing first by 4 votes.

Alice has her own hat also, which is crocheted out of a recycled rain poncho, this attaches on over her ears, and can be taken off, or put back on
With your hand in the head area, you can manipulate her mouth to ‘eat’ the leaf.

Wait, now I’m just more confused!

Since when is there an international beanie festival?

What the fuck is plarn?

And why would I ever pay $500 for a puppet to wear on my head?!

Dammit, Australia, you have won the international crazy crafter competition once again.

{source}

Renee likes plarn on toast.

Some more like this one:

Love Your Creepy Cloth Doll, Love Yourself

Renee — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 18:47:52 +0000

How’s your nude body image? Feel like you could use a reminder to celebrate diversity in beauty? Want to excite your self esteem? Then I’ve got just the thing!

Exotic Soft Sculpture and cloth dolls are designed to arouse positive nude body image, excite high self-esteem and celebrate diversity in beauty.

How, you ask? Obviously just by being around you! Sit your cloth love doll on a folding stool in your house and admire her long skinny freak legs and short pointy hands! Check out her awesome lumpy body and shiny pillow lips! Snap at her signature sense of style and think, “Mmm hmm, you GO girl!” You’ll be feeling better about yourself in no time, I promise!

But positive nude body image through creepy doll emulation doesn’t come cheap. This diva will run you a cool $3,500–but trust me, she’s worth it. Unh hunh

One diva not enough? Don’t worry, she’s got friends!

Friends for mermaids with poor nude body image!

Small friends that you and your diva can look down for that awesome soft love doll sense of superiority!

Butterflies!

Don’t let the lack of hands fool you, these ladies are ready to get wild!

What about the fellas? Worry not!

And don’t be shy about your angel–even Tupac had a soft love doll!

I’m speaking of course of Tupac Lamour, the famous circus midget with the tiny feet.

But for reals, what do you think this person’s house looks like? This post alone features 12 soft love dolls, and there’s still a bunch more on her Etsy page (and really, you’re missing out if you don’t visit it…). Going to her house must be like attending a pageant for the insane–like the moment in Psycho when you realize that the person in the rocking chair is his dead mother, only times 30, and instead of a rocking chair they’re laid out around the house in casual poses.

Like this one:

Can you handle one more bit of crazy? These dolls are “anatomically correct.” And of course we’re not speaking in the sense of having correctly proportioned bodies (HA!), but in the sense of having penises and vaginas. Which makes them wrong for young children to play with, but

The perfect Sweet 16 gift or coming of age gift for a mature young lady.

A soft cloth love doll? Oh daddy, this is SO much better than a car!

{source}

Renee loves the crazy.

Some more like this one:

Twisted Toddlerwear

Cat Rocketship — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:55:25 +0000

Last week I came across these laughable baby tees at TYWKIWDBI. They aren’t really crafts per se, but are made by a small company and someone had to come up with putting nipple tassles on a baby.

So now you have a perfect gift idea for that coworker who won’t shut up about her kids.

{Source}

Cat Rocketship would probably briefly consider putting this on her non-existent children.