Craftastrophe » For The Insane

Expect a Call from Homer Simpson

suebob — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:00:02 +0000

Mmmmm donuts.

I think Marge could make Homer a very, very happy man with this.
{Source} Just $25. Also available by the baker’s dozen.

Not the same, but still fun:

Baby Lunacy

suebob — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:10:35 +0000

As an official Bad Aunt, this is something I might give as a baby gift – Crocheted Baby “Shoes”

Let’s see:
Pointless and unnecessary – check
A pain to put on – check
Will get caught on things and cause fuss – check
The only thing they DON’T do is make loud, repetitive noises. Maybe the next version could feature some bells?

{Source} $10.62 worth of wiggly baby nightmare

Not the same, but still fun:

Short Listed

suebob — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 05:21:16 +0000

New Years Resolution #1: Do not wear pants that look like this.

Well, that was easy.
{Source} $65. Clown makeup extra.

Not the same, but still fun:

Quick, call Operation Rescue

suebob — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 14:00:50 +0000

It’s a catnip toy. Imagine the surprised expressions on the faces of your Bible Study group when your Siamese, Mittens, comes out with this in his mouth.

{Source} $12.00 worth of entertainment

Not the same, but still fun:

All Balled Up

suebob — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 14:00:13 +0000

Sometimes don’t you just want to say:

PUT DOWN THE WIRE AND MAKE SOME REAL CRAFTS.

Those three were bad, but this one makes me furious:

This is a great necklace. Wire wrapped ball looks like a fabulous ball of yarn. Hanging from an 18 inch Sterling silver chain, it is sure to delight! The perfect gift for the knitter in your life!

It is NOT a fabulous ball of yarn. It is some damned wire rolled in a ball, and no matter how hard you try to make it something else, that is all it will ever be. Gah. You are DISMISSED.

{Source} As if.

Not the same, but still fun:

OCD Fright Night

suebob — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 15:57:10 +0000

I’m not the biggest clean freak in the world. Anyone who has ever seen my fridge knows that.

But THIS? VINTAGE feather duster???

Paying someone $30 to drag a bunch of germs of the ages into my house?? Excuse me. I have to go get the hand sanitizer and bleach.

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Not the same, but still fun:

It’s like a Coaster. That you wear on your finger.

suebob — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:00:35 +0000

File under: stuff that makes me bang my head on my desk.

Note to genius designer – hands were meant to be USED, not to have their fingers yoked together in some kind of modern finger slavery.

And then someone ate a bird, guts, feathers and all, and then coughed it up on your hand. “Tribal” my butt.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Cleanliness is next to normalcy

suebob — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 14:00:14 +0000

Hey, emo girl! I have an idea for you:

Try cleaning your rug more than once every 20 years and maybe some people will come over. Just a thought.
{Source} Only $4.00. Hand sanitizer extra.

Some more like this one:

Happy Thanksgiving, All You Freaks

suebob — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:12:23 +0000

I am thankful for each and every reader who stops by Craftastrophe. Which is why I bring you presents, like this:

You’re welcome. Hope your holiday is happy and healthy.
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Some more like this one:

Sauna

suebob — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 01:35:11 +0000

What do you do on long, dark winter nights?

If you are Finnish, you hop in the sauna and beat each other with birch branches til you are nice and rosy.

There are also dachshunds on the other side:

Not sure what the dogs have to do with it.

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