Craftastrophe » For The Insane

Bigfoot on the toilet – fine art, indeed

suebob — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:00:29 +0000

If art broadens your horizons, I’m not sure I want horizons this big:

The title is

“Bigfoot breaks into some Dude’s Cabin and Totally takes a fat Dump in his toilet”

Wow. Kinda has a “Mona Lisa” ring to it, doesn’t it?

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Suebob believes that poop and art should stay far, far away from one another.

Not the same, but still fun:

Something To Nibble On…

Gillian — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 16:46:36 +0000

I happened to be searching for local Alaskan Craftastrophes when I spotted this little gem, made right in my home town of Wasilla, Alaska.

Yep, that’s a rare spotting of an Alaskan snuggle pillow. I haven’t seen one in the wild in years… especially not in the coveted maroon color WITH latex nipples in a DD size! I think the crochet is a nice touch- I like all my perv-y pillows to have a homemade look to them. That way it’s easier for them to blend in with the other pillows on the couch! Enjoy trying to get this image out of your head for the rest of the day…

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Gillian Wright keeps it real about kids, crafts, organizing, and (lack of) housework at Mrs. Wright, Gone Wrong.

Some more like this one:

Out damned spot! Out I say!

Kelley — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 18:00:36 +0000

This is pretty cool.

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I am in the middle of a laundry renovation. And when I say ‘renovation’ I mean I just chucked out all the crap that belonged to everyone else and then hung some curtains.

Ta Da!

I am so freaking Martha Stewart I scare myself.

Anyhoo, I decided to go to my new BFF Etsy to find a little somethin’ somethin’ to brighten up my washing day blues.

Holy shit.

Seriously.

Type ‘laundry’ into Etsy search…

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Now that is one way to kick laundry’s arse. But I am thinking they may clash with my colour scheme…

This is betterer.

Doing laundry can be a love letter – the clothes, three days on the line – the way you fold each small sleeve pleases my heart

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Just a little reminder that poetry doesn’t have to make sense. And at 200 bucks for a pencil scrawl on printer paper while regaining consciousness after that blow to the head, sorry pen and ink illustrated on archival Bristol Vellum paper, seems like a pretty sweet deal to me.

But not as sweet as my OWN PATRON SAINT!

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Who woulda thought that there was a patron saint of laundry. And her name would be Martha.

Thankyou Etsy.

Kelley, who believes that the laundry room is the perfect place to stash the chocolate. And wine.

Not the same, but still fun:

Souls Are Overrated

Elly Lou (BugginWord) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:51:01 +0000

How do you feel about your soul? Are you tired of trying to make your current one work? Would you like to upgrade to a newer model but you’ve no idea how to remove the one you already have?!?! Well now you can!* Introducing the revolutionary new Creepy Zombie Doll! He’ll suck your soul out in seconds flat!**

But wait, there’s more! Act now and we’ll also send you this “StrangeBorn” doll complete with the facial abnormalities of a rare genetic disorder! She’ll be sure to scare off…well…every living and unliving thing you could possibly imagine (with the exception of Creepy Zombie Doll).

As part of our exciting offer, if you call in the next twenty minutes we’ll include this second, even more terrifying, Creepy Zombie Doll to suck out the soul of your loved one. That’s three dolls for the price of only two souls!

*New soul sold separately.

**Doll maker can not guarantee soul sucking. Actual results may vary.

***Not actually an infomercial. This was only a recreation of the nightmares I enjoyed all night long after looking at these little jewels.

{source} (Thanks Reader Kerrie!)

Elly Lou (and what’s left of her soul) rambles regularly on her blog BugginWord.com.

Some more like this one:

Gritty Knitty

Gillian — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:00:55 +0000

Do you happen to have $44 spare dollars and a need for 6 feet of useless craftastrophe goodness!? Then this knitted power cord is perfect for you!

The seller says:

“This is a fun, yellow knitted power cord! It can be worn as a decorative skinny scarf, or even a decorative belt. Use it to pull back your curtains or replace that boring old tie. Whatever you choose to do, let your imagination lead the way!”

Uhhhh, they know it’s SIX FEET LONG, right? That’s the weirdest longest tie, belt or scarf I’ve ever seen! But be careful, she tangles in the washing machine!

Who would spend so much time making such an odd item? Oh, must have been this guy:

Dang, the recession must have really hit Andre 3000!

{source} (Thanks Reader Cari!)

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Gillian Wright keeps it real about kids, crafts, organizing, and (lack of) housework at Mrs. Wright, Gone Wrong.

Some more like this one:

Hey you guys! Like my John Wayne Gacy clown painting?

flutter — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:00:38 +0000

Hey you guys! I was pulling the plastic flamingos out of my front yard to make this headdress…is that two words? Head dress? I don’t know, you guys this ain’t a dress for your head but it sure is pretty! So, anyway, you guys I was pulling the pink plastic flamingos out of my front yard to make this “piece of art” when I realized…This art oughta be photographed in front of MY favorite piece of art. I present to you guys my totally rad headdress, photographed in front of the painting that John Wayne Gacy sent to me as a thank you for the many erotic letters I sent to him about my clown fetish. Etsy made me take down the erotic poem I originally had with this listing, so I had to change it to this:

This piece is a one of a kind. Where do I start. It is a headband with a huge bow on top made of pink, orange, and green florescent tulle, with a doll’s head in the middle. The doll has a sequened crown and there are two flamingos on each side of the bow. The headband is covered in blue tinsel material. It is not heavy though and will not weigh your head down. Anywhere you wear this to, you will be noticed. It is truly a piece of art and this is the only one I have ever made like it.

What I didn’t say is that this piece is meant to be worn with the lingerie that I made with the melted barbie heads on the nips.

Source

Thanks, Cari!

flutter writes on her personal blog byflutter, sometimes.

Not the same, but still fun:

Glitter Goblins

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:00:24 +0000

It look like ones about to mount the other, you know – to spread its seed glitter.

COMPLETELY acceptable wall art for a child’s room, no?

I am completely drawn to the colours though.

And I can’t help but be entranced by the creepy four eyes.

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Not the same, but still fun:

How NOT to freak out your guest

sam {temptingmama} — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 17:00:43 +0000

Step 1: DON’T FEED YOUR GUESTS MEAT ON A TRAY LIKE THIS.

NOTE: If you’re so inclined to use a tray such as this, maybe stack the meat over the part that says ‘Gacy’. Unless of course it’s a theme party in dedication of John Wayne Gacy. In that case, have at’er you crazy kids.

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You know, upon viewing this again; I am almost certain that’s a Styrofoam meat tray from the grocery store covered in saran. Ummm… nothing like bringing some necrotizing fasciitis to the party.

Not the same, but still fun:

Monet Inspired?

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:59:18 +0000

** Have you entered our fabulous giveaway for a 75 dollar gift certificate to Eden Fantasys? Time’s running out!**

:::

When I think Monet, I think unique, colourful, beauty, peaceful – and most of all – ART.

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I’m sorry to say, this item? Shows NONE of those attributes.

I’m curious to know what Monet would think of this creation inspired by his work.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Not for the squeamish ones. You asked for a warning, there it is.

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 23:57:38 +0000

Squeamish or not. These is something terribly wrong with this.

The *art* of taxidermy really knows no bounds, does it?

I don’t know, but I don’t think the crystal encrusted effects really anything to diminishing the horror.

*shudder*

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