Craftastrophe » For The Insane

Glitter Goblins

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:00:24 +0000

It look like ones about to mount the other, you know – to spread its seed glitter.

COMPLETELY acceptable wall art for a child’s room, no?

I am completely drawn to the colours though.

And I can’t help but be entranced by the creepy four eyes.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

How NOT to freak out your guest

sam {temptingmama} — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 17:00:43 +0000

Step 1: DON’T FEED YOUR GUESTS MEAT ON A TRAY LIKE THIS.

NOTE: If you’re so inclined to use a tray such as this, maybe stack the meat over the part that says ‘Gacy’. Unless of course it’s a theme party in dedication of John Wayne Gacy. In that case, have at’er you crazy kids.

{source}

EDITOR’S NOTE: You know, upon viewing this again; I am almost certain that’s a Styrofoam meat tray from the grocery store covered in saran. Ummm… nothing like bringing some necrotizing fasciitis to the party.

Not the same, but still fun:

Monet Inspired?

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:59:18 +0000

** Have you entered our fabulous giveaway for a 75 dollar gift certificate to Eden Fantasys? Time’s running out!**

:::

When I think Monet, I think unique, colourful, beauty, peaceful – and most of all – ART.

{source}

I’m sorry to say, this item? Shows NONE of those attributes.

I’m curious to know what Monet would think of this creation inspired by his work.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Not for the squeamish ones. You asked for a warning, there it is.

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 23:57:38 +0000

Squeamish or not. These is something terribly wrong with this.

The *art* of taxidermy really knows no bounds, does it?

I don’t know, but I don’t think the crystal encrusted effects really anything to diminishing the horror.

*shudder*

{source}

Some more like this one:

But Grandma! What do you mean you’re not leaving me your plate collection anymore!?

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 01:11:28 +0000

I think I’m going to buy this plate and use it to replace an existing plate in my grandma’s collection.

Or maybe, this one?

We’ve featured this seller before. *** THE LINK CONTAINS POSSIBLY OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. CONSIDER THIS YOUR WARNING. *** And some of the items are extremely low brow, but still make me giggle.

I don’t know that any of them would have my grandma giggling though. She’d probably be immediately mentally writing me out of her will.

chicken plate {source}
kitty plate {source}

Some more like this one:

I’m going to be the Paperbag Princess for Halloween!

sam {temptingmama} — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:37:41 +0000

Okay, maybe a princess in my own little world.

In reality? I’ll be headed into lock down.

Here Joey, put on Mommy tights. They will be perfect for underneath your paper bag!

Yes. I know it’s getting chilly out but you mustn’t deter from the art, Joey! Since you have no need for your arms, you can hug yourself warm beneath the bag!

Now Joey, dear, remember to smile.

No, I know they cannot see your face, but they can hear your smile in your voice!

Ready Adam?! I think this will be what I’m wearing to the Halloween party this year.

That is if I can get past Customs.

{source}

Some more like this one:

Just because you can….

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:58:23 +0000

Does NOT mean you should.

70’s called. They want their shorts back.

BTW. I bet these babies would give ya a TOTAL camel toe. Just sayin’.

Who wears short shorts!?

*scritch, scritch, scritch* I just don’t know…. I think it may be um… HOT and well, itchy. Knitted thong? Ya. Um. I… No.

Hot pants {source}, Shorts {source}, Intimates {source}

Some more like this one:

Yet, I still have an urge to shove my face between them

sam {temptingmama} — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 01:23:26 +0000

In college I owned a lime green jacket made of vinyl. I thought I was the hottest thing around.

Yes. Vinyl. Lime green. I can’t tell you how badly I wish I had a picture for you.

It was 2001. Yes. I. KNOW.

My then (sexual relations) buddy thought it was amazing, HOT, and totally sexy.

He’s now my husband thankyouverymuch.

He was right about one thing. Totally hot. Like sweaty just breathing hot. Sweat dripping down your back hot. Don’t-even-bother-dancing-or-you-will-cook-from-the-inside-out HOT.

Kinda like Ross’ leather pants.

I can’t watch that without giggling uncontrollably.

I have no idea how to properly segue this so I’ll just say: Hot. Boobies.

What? It’s late. I’m tired. Suck it. *snort*

Um. Wha?

Uh. Okay.

Wait. Wait! It gets better! I swear!

A complete unitard of latex with inflatable bewbs.

Now that? THAT’S HOT.

(P.S. In the crotch area? There’s some metal-ish beads / pins / clasps. Don’t ask what that’s all about. I suspect some access point. You know? Like a spanx hole?

{source} — The shop has some um, other random fetish items if you’re so inclined. Consider yourself warned.

Some more like this one:

What ARE You Growing In That Garden?

Karen Sugarpants — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 14:41:29 +0000

From the listing:

i was at a flea market and found an old rusted outdoor plant stand. thought to myself…ah……clean it up, put plants in it, a nice summer treat! then i thought……NOT…….too “normal” ( lol), so decided to make an art piece instead. originally it was going to be an outdoor piece, which is why i grouted the original set of “doll’s heads”. grout can withstand the elements. i have several grouted doll’s heads on poles in both my back and front yard (who knows what my neighbors must think!). but then i liked it so much i decided to keep it inside and expand the piece to have 3 side/front pieces.

since it had to do with “plants” the old nursery rhyme came to mind:” mary mary quite contrary. how does your garden grow. with silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row”. well, obviously too long a title for an art piece so i shortened it to “mary mary…pretty maids all in a row”.

once i finished it and placed it in my living room the cat decided that she also loved it and started “chewing” on the 3 side/front pieces. oh no. so i took those up to my studio and boxed them for safe keeping. the cat still likes the main standing piece but doesn’t seem to chew on it as much. whew!

what is weird is that the doll’s heads move……i go to bed at night and they are facing one way. in the morning they are looking in another direction! maybe they “play” at night?

That last part made me shudder for real. OMG OMG OMG!

MOAR DETAILZ:

Thanks Shay!

{source} <— the artist wants you to know she not only took the pictures but that she made this piece.

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I Love (Silence of the) Lamp

Karen Sugarpants — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:15:50 +0000

And I really love this lamp. It’s Rosemary’s Baby meets Silence of the Lambs. Heh. Silence of the LAMP.

I Love Lamp.

Thanks Burgh Baby!

Photos by Julian Wearne