When I saw this, I yelled “NOOOOOOOO!” This stuff is not coming back, is it? Look, I lived through the 1960s (well, I was a little kid) and it WAS NOT PRETTY. Do not go back there, kids. I beg of you. Those fashions are what made people use all those drugs. They did it to forget.

{Source} Only $6 but you are legally required to wear Patchouli oil if you put this on your head.

Not for use in exorcisms unless you want the demons to laugh at you.

{Source} $25, eternal salvation not included

Ok, ok, I feel sorry for you already. Now go be all emo somewhere else with your broken, smashed, ripped-open heart.

{Source} $12. Therapy sessions extra.

I don’t care. No matter how much you try to call this “human ivory,” it’s still fingernail clippings to me. No, seriously. Fingernail clippings.

Also? Get that thing out of my house.
{Source} $200 and steam cleaner rental for where I just tossed my lunch on the carpet.

Mmmmm donuts.

I think Marge could make Homer a very, very happy man with this.
{Source} Just $25. Also available by the baker’s dozen.