(Come to think of it, that could be the title of about 90% of my posts).
My blog header says I am old. How old? Old enough to remember when sushi was gross.
Yes, children, I remember a time in the mists of ancient history when, if you said “Sushi,” people either said “What?” or “Oooh, gross, raw fish!”
Now four-year-olds can distinguish between Yellowtail and Uni and know which handrolls are their favorite. Kids, these days.
Where was I? Rambling like an aged person. ANYHOO…there’s this:It’s art. It’s crafts. It’s a freaking disgusting felt Black Widow spider laying her eggs in a sushi rice ball.
Yummy…Yummy…
No… Wait… there’s something wrong here…
This MEGA GIANT almost 4″ tall Black Widow Spider is perched on top of a rice ball, which conveniently looks just like her egg sack!!
Good gah, it’s enough to make you spit out your Miso soup. I’m never eating sushi again.
Last week, I brought you this. The hell with that.
Ladies, I give you ….. the Wine Rack !
Who needs expensive plastic surgery, weeks of pain and sleeping in your bra for a month when you can improve your bust line and bring the party with you ? In other words…. “turn an A cup into Double D’s AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! Better than a boob job and cheaper too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks. The Wine Rack was developed to “fill out” our product line.”
Doesn’t she look like she’s having fun ? Hell, I do too when I’m tanked up ! And with the Wine Rack, I can have a sippy straw and still have two hands free for cups, if I can keep my hands off my breasts ! Perfect for PTA meetings, long days at the soccer fields, or those god-awful long field trips parents are always griping about.
And “with a simple blow of the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.”
Unfortunately, the sizing chart doesn’t allow for those of us who already have Double D’s to wear one of these miraculous inventions……
So ladies, grab one of your flat-chested friends and let’s get this party started !
This weekend when hanging out with a wise friend, I was privy to this gem of an observation: “If you have trouble developing an interesting personality that’s another thing you’ll probably try–wearing a crazy hat.”
Or possibly making one! (And then trying to sell it for $450).
This hat is the most ridiculously ugly joker hat I’ve ever seen, which is saying a lot because I’ve also seen Fremont Street, Times Square, and the Castro during Gay Pride. No joker-hat-wearing fool in any of those locations had a thing on this primary colored monstrosity.
Personally, I prefer not to think about tampons more than I have to. Apparently I’m in the minority, because there is all kinds of lovely tampon art on Etsy.com.
Give kitty his own play-tampon, complete with felt blood! This may actually be genius, since cats are always dragging real tampons out of the trash and playing with them…
This next tampon is suggested as a gift for ladies who have passed menopause as kind of an honor, but I can think of PLENTY of other people who might need a “Golden Tampon Lifetime Achievement Award”. Let your imagination be your guide.
You may have heard the unfortunate term “Vajazzling” lately. I think this person may have got that idea a little twisted up in their head and put the jewels right on the tampon, bypassing the Vajayjay completely:
Do NOT attempt to use this lest you severely injure your Special Panty Parts.
It’s art. It’s crafts. It’s a freaking disgusting felt Black Widow spider laying her eggs in a sushi rice ball.
