I remember when I was little and my mom would tuck me into bed. Snug, warm, secure. She would kiss my forehead. smooth my hair and snuggle my favorite toy into the crook of my arm.
Syringey and I would drift off to dreamland, dreaming dreams of puncturing skin, taking blood samples, pushing heroine. It was a simpler time and place. One day, Syringey went missing and I? Well, I was devastated. I searched through my photos of my beloved Syringe and Quickly made signs.
Missing, stuffed syringe. Answers to “Syringey”
Desperate for a hit to find my missing friend! He enjoys Murder
She Wrote, long walks on the beach and pushing smack Girl
When I get bored at work, I do random things to kill time. I browse the internet, write blogs, read books, chat with friends, and occasionally even knit. I do not, however, glance around my desk and think things like, “Hey, I bet I could make a super freaky squirrel doll out of that staple remover.”
But apparently, someone does.
Snappy the RazorSquirrel, who is explicitly “not appropriate for children”, is the product of 2 Canadian sisters who got the bright idea to craft incredibly unappealing toys for adults out of recycled materials, felt, and…uh…office equipment.
(Come to think of it, that could be the title of about 90% of my posts).
My blog header says I am old. How old? Old enough to remember when sushi was gross.
Yes, children, I remember a time in the mists of ancient history when, if you said “Sushi,” people either said “What?” or “Oooh, gross, raw fish!”
Now four-year-olds can distinguish between Yellowtail and Uni and know which handrolls are their favorite. Kids, these days.
Where was I? Rambling like an aged person. ANYHOO…there’s this:It’s art. It’s crafts. It’s a freaking disgusting felt Black Widow spider laying her eggs in a sushi rice ball.
Yummy…Yummy…
No… Wait… there’s something wrong here…
This MEGA GIANT almost 4″ tall Black Widow Spider is perched on top of a rice ball, which conveniently looks just like her egg sack!!
Good gah, it’s enough to make you spit out your Miso soup. I’m never eating sushi again.
Last week, I brought you this. The hell with that.
Ladies, I give you ….. the Wine Rack !
Who needs expensive plastic surgery, weeks of pain and sleeping in your bra for a month when you can improve your bust line and bring the party with you ? In other words…. “turn an A cup into Double D’s AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! Better than a boob job and cheaper too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks. The Wine Rack was developed to “fill out” our product line.”
Doesn’t she look like she’s having fun ? Hell, I do too when I’m tanked up ! And with the Wine Rack, I can have a sippy straw and still have two hands free for cups, if I can keep my hands off my breasts ! Perfect for PTA meetings, long days at the soccer fields, or those god-awful long field trips parents are always griping about.
And “with a simple blow of the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.”
Unfortunately, the sizing chart doesn’t allow for those of us who already have Double D’s to wear one of these miraculous inventions……
So ladies, grab one of your flat-chested friends and let’s get this party started !
Syringey and I would drift off to dreamland, dreaming dreams of puncturing skin, taking blood samples, pushing heroine. It was a simpler time and place. One day, Syringey went missing and I? Well, I was devastated. I searched through my photos of my beloved Syringe and Quickly made signs.
Missing, stuffed syringe. Answers to “Syringey”
