Craftastrophe » Disturbing Things We Should Never Own

Monkey See, Monkey Don’t

suebob — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:46:48 +0000

The best part of this? You don’t have to buy it. They give you a pattern so you can make your own! As if.

He gets that extra-demented look from the inclusion of pop tabs, so you can use up some of the beer pulls that have been littering your living room carpet.

{Source} Less than 4 scary dollars

Thanks to Schmutzie for this one, too.

Not the same, but still fun:

Your Friends Are For Giving You Nightmares

suebob — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 15:27:09 +0000

LaurieWrites pointed me to these horrifying items. Thanks, Laurie. When we’re sharing a room at BlogHer and I wake up screaming, I’ll remind you about this.

Jewelry made from Barbie parts. They should be called the Mayhem Collection.

Full story at Toxel.com

Not the same, but still fun:

Fickle Finger of Fate

suebob — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:00:01 +0000

Make sure your lover takes all of their anti-psychotic meds before you spring this one on them.

{Source} 65 bones

Not the same, but still fun:

Fun? I Don’t Think That Word Means What You Think It Means.

suebob — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:07:41 +0000

I think it was Robert Louis Stevenson who said “The world is so full of a number of things, I’m sure we should all be happy as kings.”

Maybe we should stop with the things. We have enough. Evidence:

A teratoma is a type of tumor. They have been known to contain eyes, teeth, hair, partially formed organs, and limbs. Sometimes it takes the form of a bulbous mass, with it’s parts hidden within; other times it may have hands or little legs sticking out.

This teratoma is full of parts that you can have fun disecting from the tumourous sac, or position in a variety of ways to display your teratoma as you see fit.

{Source} 30 tumorous dollars

Not the same, but still fun:

The Eyes Follow You All Around the Room

suebob — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 05:27:16 +0000

Forget “When I am an Old Lady I Shall Wear Purple.”

When I am an old lady (which will be in about 20 minutes from now) I shall wear a felted kitty brooch.

{Source} $26.99 worth of scary old lady shit

Not the same, but still fun:

Too depressing to consider

suebob — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:00:04 +0000

Due to my long and sordid dating history, my doll set would have to be so big that the outside one would be close to an actual life-size human.

Ex-Boyfriend Nesting Dolls

{Source} 100 depressing dollars

Not the same, but still fun:

Well, Hello Dolly

suebob — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:04:34 +0000

File under: Things I’ll Never Understand – why do dollmakers so often made dolls that are so…unfortunate-looking? If you have all the materials and tools in a crafts store at your disposal, why do this?

{Source} $120 of Oh Please Make It Stop.

Not the same, but still fun:

Too Bad Christmas is Over

suebob — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:00:39 +0000

I mean, what little girl WOULDN’T want this adorable baby rat sculpture? Who needs American Girls dolls when you can have your own tiny hairless rodent in a matchbox?

{Source} $45 Exterminator extra.

Not the same, but still fun:

Christmas Shopping: Disappoint Your Gadget-Loving Friend

suebob — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 15:40:09 +0000

“I got you an iPod!”

Oh, no, it’s an eye-pod! Not only a bad pun, but kinda creepy, too, as a bonus.
{Source} Only $30, but the disappointment is priceless.

Not the same, but still fun:

The Nightmare Before Christmas

suebob — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:40:22 +0000

Way to scare the kids, clowny.

This is super fun and super Lux. Only using High quality yarns from shiny rayons to Wool and Alpacas with Cosy, spongy merino and organic cottons.
This is Fun, fun and Fun!!!!

No. No it is not fun, with or without multiple exclamation points.
{Source} 500 creepy dollars