Because that cold, dank craft room in the basement of the psych hospital can be a lonely place for a doll like this.  I love how one of the dolls is made out of a vodka bottle.  That is awesome, squared.

Thanks Rebecca!

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I can understand having a hobby and becoming enthralled in said hobby.

As a horny preteen I was obsessive when it came to collecting the New Kids on the Block trading cards. I had all of them. Should I get a duplicate card? The overwhelming sadness would have put a high school break-up to shame.

This is no joke people.

It’s the end of life as we know it when you get a duplicate card. Ask any preteen kid that’s collecting Pokémon or Webkins or whatever-the-heck those young ones are doing these days.

Big. Deal. People.

Where was I?

Oh yes. A hobby.  Appreciate it. Embrace it.  The fact is some people, including your children, are obsessive freaks when it comes to collecting or making things.

But!

Ooooooh – there’s definitely a But! because when that obsessive need turns utterly CREEPY you get something like this:

I don’t even know what to say except… what happens when the poor tree wants to GROW! and EXPAND! and LIVE!

Is it supposed to bust outta that thing like Lou Ferrigno when he turns into The Hulk?

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Remember Teraline?

Ya, I was trying to forget her too. Then, as I perused the archives of our Craftastrophe emails I came across this birdbrain.

It’s okay to call her that,  she doesn’t mind. I asked.

She’s a bit squirrely… but lovable all the same.

She’s a member of the Fae Protectorate, a disciple in all the ways of tiny-fighting, and yet such a glamorous maven of sensuality and fashion.

“disciple in all the ways of tiny-fighting”? So is my ten-month-old. That kid can throw down like nobody’s business.

Yet another way our human errors have attached themselves to the aether, this little fairy darling took it a step too far and traded in her wings and weapons for a pair of boots and a shiny dress.

Wha?

Although mistaken in her racial identity, don’t think for a second that she’s lost her fairy abilities. She’ll just as likely stick her high heel through your eye as kiss you. I don’t know which one would be worse…

Well, if I had one eye then I could wink and tada! she’s gone!

One of a kind art doll comes with handmade dress, boots and accessories. Her ‘hair’ is coyote fur and glass beads, and her head is squirrel.

Mmmmm. Squirrel skull. It’s what’s for breakfast.

DOES NOT come with demon skull prop. You CAN order a demon skull prop, convo me.

Damn! The skull prop is what sold me on this fairy-like goddess. *snicker*  Kinda like the Coffee Fairy, *link NSFW* only not.

Thanks Chris!

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I can very much agree with you, now.

Moist never was a word that bothered me much. For some it conjures up images too, um – freaky to post here. Maybe it’s the sound of the word: MOIST. I dunno.

But now, so long as I have an image of this in my brain I will hate the word MOIST.

Because – and I’m sorry, I have to say it – WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!

Moist Mother Earth?

Are those maggot-shaped items the ‘abstracted body organs’?

From the listing:

Part Elizabethan gown and part… mushroom bog? It’s Moist Mother Earth, a fiber art/sculpture inspired both by nature and historical costuming.

Um. Ya.

Mushroom bog growing what kind of mushrooms may I ask?

I’ve never been one to elicit very many reactions such as this, and this past day has been alternately alarming, amusing, and illuminating for me.

Alarming? Because of the comments regarding your work of ‘art’?

I think I am alarmed more for you than you could possibly be for me.

Moist Mother Earth is creative melding of Elizabethan clothing, rotting mushrooms, abstracted human body organs, leaves, and other botanical forms.

I just don’t get where ‘rotting mushrooms’ and ‘abstracted human body organs’ come together. Am I missing something? I did take biology class and we covered nothing of the sort.

Is this a dead person? A Zombie?

A royal Elizabethan zombie?

Is the collar supposed to be hair or leaves? Do mushroom bogs have leaves.

I am seriously getting concerned people.

Is that mold on the collar?

Um. Is that even a collar?

OH LOOK! More ‘abstracted body organs’.

Me: “(Son) what does that look like to you?”  - he’s three by the way

Him: “Mmmm .. Roast Beef”

Yes. That’s exactly what I was thinking. Roast beef.

I… It… Well… Hmmmm

I am at a loss for words. I am utterly horrifed by this creation.

Not to mention the hefty price tag of 10 THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Seriously? Seriously.

Thanks for sending this one in Adrienne!

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How come I’ve never Leslie Hall before? In love, people. Seriously In. Love.

I am so buying a pair of gold leggings and a glitter sweater.

Thanks Fidget for sending this in!

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