Imagery: A toothed vagina with an arm extending from it that is grasping a human heart.
Well, I’m glad you cleared that up, because I really had no idea what I was looking at. A butt with a zipper? Krumm for Aaahh!!! Real Monsters? Some sort of Halloween themed nut cracker?
But now that I know it’s a vagina dentata, I totally get it. I also totally get that you made it look “like an artifact” (see: old and crappy) on purpose, and that it’s worth all $500 that you’re charging for it.
Oh, wait, no–I mean, I totally don’t get it. Feminist mythology my butt zipper.
Did he tie your shot gun in a knot so it exploded in your face?
Whatever it was, it doesn’t warrant this level of punishment.
And why does he have duck feet?
According to the creator,
Scott a. a. Bibus uses taxidermy to explore the human relationship with death. By blending the death-concealing techniques of taxidermy with the exaggeratedly grotesque aesthetics of horror movies, Bibus creates totems to the human defense mechanisms developed in the face of our own mortality.
But you and I both know that’s a crock of rabbit shit.
That second sentence doesn’t even make sense — totems to our defense mechanisms developed in the face of our own mortality? Totems are supposed to watch over you. Do you mean that this thing is supposed to watch over my defense mechanisms, or that this thing is my defense mechanisms? And if it’s supposed to watch over me, why is it a bloody stuffed rabbit with duck feet? Is this some lesser-known Hindi goddess I’ve never heard of? What’s it do — run across the water with rabbit like speed on its bloody duck feet to chase the demons away? In the face of our own mortality — what did you do, Scott a.a. Bibus, just Google “psychobabble” and pick the first paragraph that popped up?
This monstrosity only exists because you like taking dead things and making them look worse than dead things already look — that’s all. You’re not trying to say something about life or mortality, you just really wanted a bunny with bloody flappers and as soon as you had a chance to make one, you did.
And then you thought, “Hey, I bet someone else likes dead rabbit parts, too!” (and clearly some do…) so you put it on Etsy for $395 and tacked on some nonsense words to try and confuse anyone who might try and call you out for what you really are: a craftastrophist.
I remember when I was little and my mom would tuck me into bed. Snug, warm, secure. She would kiss my forehead. smooth my hair and snuggle my favorite toy into the crook of my arm.
Syringey and I would drift off to dreamland, dreaming dreams of puncturing skin, taking blood samples, pushing heroine. It was a simpler time and place. One day, Syringey went missing and I? Well, I was devastated. I searched through my photos of my beloved Syringe and Quickly made signs.
Missing, stuffed syringe. Answers to “Syringey”
Desperate for a hit to find my missing friend! He enjoys Murder
She Wrote, long walks on the beach and pushing smack Girl
This is my favorite thing ever. Not because its so craftastrophic , though let’s examine that for a minute:
1. Art deco color scheme
2. Elvis head with Beethoven moniker.
3. Inexplicable dripping head syndrome.
All of these things equal pure Craftastrophe gold, and yet these are not what I like best about this piece.
What I like best is the write up.
This sculpture is of a young Beethoven and was hand sculpted and hand painted by Titano Art (artists Scott O’Connor and David Kwon)
This sculpture won the 2010 Matthew Hussein Award for Innovation! It was selected from a field of 77 artists, some of whom entered more than one sculpture! Here is what renowned art critic Adele Padgett had to say about the sculpture at the award ceremony: “These artists have used a very innovative style in this piece. They have achieved extremely accurate proportions but also used blacks where there are already natural shadows and whites where there are already natural highlights for emphasis. A dripping effect on the face also gives the viewer an accurate feeling that Beethoven was a tragic figure. The effect is truly stunning, and I believe Matthew Hussein would be very happy with this year’s winning piece if he were still alive.” Since nobody knows for sure what Beethoven looked like when he was younger, reference pictures of an older Beethoven, Elvis, and Robert Pattinson were used.
This sculpture is of a young Beethoven and was hand sculpted and hand painted by Titano Art (artists Scott O’Connor and David Kwon)
This sculpture won the 2010 Matthew Hussein Award for Innovation! It was selected from a field of 77 artists, some of whom entered more than one sculpture! Here is what renowned art critic Adele Padgett had to say about the sculpture at the award ceremony: “These artists have used a very innovative style in this piece. They have achieved extremely accurate proportions but also used blacks where there are already natural shadows and whites where there are already natural highlights for emphasis. A dripping effect on the face also gives the viewer an accurate feeling that Beethoven was a tragic figure. The effect is truly stunning, and I believe Matthew Hussein would be very happy with this year’s winning piece if he were still alive.” Since nobody knows for sure what Beethoven looked like when he was younger, reference pictures of an older Beethoven, Elvis, and Robert Pattinson were used.
Of all the information provided in this blurb, the only thing that actually coughed up any Google search results was “Titano Art,” which points you to a bedraggled Myspace page with an out of date Ebay listing. Everything else appears to be made up.
