Craftastrophe » Doctor Dement-O

What they don’t teach you in Biology class

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:10:30 +0000

It’s a dino-sword-’ohorsea-boom.

No. Really. WTF is this supposed to be?

The piece is composed of separately slipcast pieces, assembled to what you see here. some were found molds, others were hand made: the hand grenate [sic] pin,brain,sailfish and shells were hand made, the rest (woman, cowboy legs,dinosaur, horse head, were commercial molds.

I don’t suppose pulling the pin will blow the whole thing up?

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Not the same, but still fun:

I Love (Silence of the) Lamp

Karen Sugarpants — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:15:50 +0000

And I really love this lamp. It’s Rosemary’s Baby meets Silence of the Lambs. Heh. Silence of the LAMP.

I Love Lamp.

Thanks Burgh Baby!

Photos by Julian Wearne

Some more like this one:

The power of Christ compels you…

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:03:00 +0000

We’ve featured this crafter here before with the outstanding and ever so popular squirrel foot earrings as well as a few other items, and yet they never cease to amaze us with their ingenuity.

Yes. I really mean ingenuity.

Because honestly, if I ever came across a dead bird, a rat’s skull or even a dismembered tail, the likelihood of me thinking, “Wow, this would be a fantastic broach! Just add a little dead mouse fur, a decapitated rabbit and voila!” is probably the FURTHEST thing from my mind.

Or it was before Karen and I started this site.

You have to be a creative and patient person to accumulate enough bird legs in order to make a replica crown of thorns. You have to keep your eye out of many, MANY birds to make this happen. That takes perseverance and time – because really? Where would one go to find a plethora of bird legs?

But! No only has this crafter found a plethora of bird legs, they have painted them gold, created a crown and even thought of the minute detail of BLOOD. Droplets of blood.

Droplets of blood dripping from a plethora of bird legs.

From the listing:

This is a life size crown of thorns made with taxidermy bird legs. There are 24 rock dove, pheasant quail and chukar bird legs that have been hand gilt in 24K gold and have glistening blood drops dripping from the claws and pheasant spurs. The crown measures 7 1/2″ x 10″ and is wearable (carefully).

Them a lot of legs people. A LOT.

And? If you wear this I am allowed to call you a bird brain.

Just sayin’.

I can’t for the life of me find the email from the reader at this time. So sorry reader, but thank you for sending us this one!

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Some more like this one:

Watery Eyes

Karen Sugarpants — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 02:54:24 +0000

From the listing:

This work is about the formation of thoughts.
I am interested in exploiting the inherent qualities of glass and what it describes.

Oh yeah, I can totally see that. Totally. Hey Sam, can I borrow $250 bucks? I’m interested in seeing the exploitation of inherent qualities of glass. Very interested.

Thanks Jett!

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Some more like this one:

Don’t mess with the pussy (cat)

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 14:35:05 +0000

DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.

DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed (again).

DAY 762 – Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to plan…

DAY 768- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo”. What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.

DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer.” More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies”. Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Thanks Stump for sending this one in!

{source – Pampered Whiskers}

{source – Cat Diaries}

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At Least She Feels Like She Belongs Somewhere

Karen Sugarpants — Mon, 25 May 2009 13:30:01 +0000

Because that cold, dank craft room in the basement of the psych hospital can be a lonely place for a doll like this. I love how one of the dolls is made out of a vodka bottle. That is awesome, squared.

Thanks Rebecca!

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Not the same, but still fun:

Why Not Put a Sign Out Front of Your House Begging to be Committed?

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:05:37 +0000

I can understand having a hobby and becoming enthralled in said hobby.

As a horny preteen I was obsessive when it came to collecting the New Kids on the Block trading cards. I had all of them. Should I get a duplicate card? The overwhelming sadness would have put a high school break-up to shame.

This is no joke people.

It’s the end of life as we know it when you get a duplicate card. Ask any preteen kid that’s collecting Pokémon or Webkins or whatever-the-heck those young ones are doing these days.

Big. Deal. People.

Where was I?

Oh yes. A hobby. Appreciate it. Embrace it. The fact is some people, including your children, are obsessive freaks when it comes to collecting or making things.

But!

Ooooooh – there’s definitely a But! because when that obsessive need turns utterly CREEPY you get something like this:

I don’t even know what to say except… what happens when the poor tree wants to GROW! and EXPAND! and LIVE!

Is it supposed to bust outta that thing like Lou Ferrigno when he turns into The Hulk?

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Some more like this one:

Sweet Baby Jesus, There’s MORE!?

sam {temptingmama} — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:21:58 +0000

Remember Teraline?

Ya, I was trying to forget her too. Then, as I perused the archives of our Craftastrophe emails I came across this birdbrain.

It’s okay to call her that, she doesn’t mind. I asked.

She’s a bit squirrely… but lovable all the same.

She’s a member of the Fae Protectorate, a disciple in all the ways of tiny-fighting, and yet such a glamorous maven of sensuality and fashion.

“disciple in all the ways of tiny-fighting”? So is my ten-month-old. That kid can throw down like nobody’s business.

Yet another way our human errors have attached themselves to the aether, this little fairy darling took it a step too far and traded in her wings and weapons for a pair of boots and a shiny dress.

Wha?

Although mistaken in her racial identity, don’t think for a second that she’s lost her fairy abilities. She’ll just as likely stick her high heel through your eye as kiss you. I don’t know which one would be worse…

Well, if I had one eye then I could wink and tada! she’s gone!

One of a kind art doll comes with handmade dress, boots and accessories. Her ‘hair’ is coyote fur and glass beads, and her head is squirrel.

Mmmmm. Squirrel skull. It’s what’s for breakfast.

DOES NOT come with demon skull prop. You CAN order a demon skull prop, convo me.

Damn! The skull prop is what sold me on this fairy-like goddess. *snicker* Kinda like the Coffee Fairy, *link NSFW* only not.

Thanks Chris!

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Some more like this one:

For Those Who Hate the Word ‘Moist’

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 19:19:51 +0000

I can very much agree with you, now.

Moist never was a word that bothered me much. For some it conjures up images too, um – freaky to post here. Maybe it’s the sound of the word: MOIST. I dunno.

But now, so long as I have an image of this in my brain I will hate the word MOIST.

Because – and I’m sorry, I have to say it – WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!

Moist Mother Earth?

Are those maggot-shaped items the ‘abstracted body organs’?

From the listing:

Part Elizabethan gown and part… mushroom bog? It’s Moist Mother Earth, a fiber art/sculpture inspired both by nature and historical costuming.

Um. Ya.

Mushroom bog growing what kind of mushrooms may I ask?

I’ve never been one to elicit very many reactions such as this, and this past day has been alternately alarming, amusing, and illuminating for me.

Alarming? Because of the comments regarding your work of ‘art’?

I think I am alarmed more for you than you could possibly be for me.

Moist Mother Earth is creative melding of Elizabethan clothing, rotting mushrooms, abstracted human body organs, leaves, and other botanical forms.

I just don’t get where ‘rotting mushrooms’ and ‘abstracted human body organs’ come together. Am I missing something? I did take biology class and we covered nothing of the sort.

Is this a dead person? A Zombie?

A royal Elizabethan zombie?

Is the collar supposed to be hair or leaves? Do mushroom bogs have leaves.

I am seriously getting concerned people.

Is that mold on the collar?

Um. Is that even a collar?

OH LOOK! More ‘abstracted body organs’.

Me: “(Son) what does that look like to you?” - he’s three by the way

Him: “Mmmm .. Roast Beef”

Yes. That’s exactly what I was thinking. Roast beef.

I… It… Well… Hmmmm

I am at a loss for words. I am utterly horrifed by this creation.

Not to mention the hefty price tag of 10 THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Seriously? Seriously.

Thanks for sending this one in Adrienne!

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Craftastic Craft Talk

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:24:48 +0000

How come I’ve never Leslie Hall before? In love, people. Seriously In. Love.

I am so buying a pair of gold leggings and a glitter sweater.

Thanks Fidget for sending this in!

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