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I now wish more than ever that my cat was made of polymer

You people sure have an affinity for weirdo cats lately.

This one kinda reminds me of my own cat though.

Hellish.

Like this? This is the look I get when he craps outside his litter box.

geniecat I now wish more than ever that my cat was made of polymer

This is how he treats me on a regular basis. RUDE.

geniecat2 I now wish more than ever that my cat was made of polymer

Damn cat. Confession: I can’t stand my cat. I just can’t bring myself to dump him at a shelter. At nine years old, I just can’t do that to him. Lucky for us, our vet says he’s in great condition and will likely live to see a ripe old age of at least 16.

And? He’s SATANIC. Eyes rolling to the back of his head as he barfs on my couch.

geniecat3 I now wish more than ever that my cat was made of polymer

Except my cat? He’s ALIVE and most times I wish nothing more than for him to have the ability to turn to stone.

Or polymer.

Whatever.

From the listing:

This odd genie is their to help, his bright color brings energy to the room and his strange appearance with no doubt start fun conversations!…

He comes attached to a wooden base with leather bottom to prevent fine furniture from scratching.
He is sure to lift anyone’s mood!

I just can’t picture someone with a $14,000 sideboard in their dining room showing this piece along side their bottle of  The Macallan Fine and Rare Collection, 1926, 60 Years Old at a price tag of $38,000.

Unless of course by “fine” the seller means my MDF laminate bookself, because THAT is totally doable.

Go check out the seller’s shop. There are some AMAZINGLY creepy pieces there. Including this one. OMFG.

Thanks Natalie!

{source}

Posted by sam {temptingmama} on August 16, 2009
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe, Crazy Critter Parts, Disturbing Things We Should Never Own |
{ 10 Comments }

Whatchu eatin’ under there?

Ever have that one pesky person in your life who has an answer for everything? How to clean the windows better? How to avoid turning your whites pink? When to hang the laundry? Yes. One. Of. Those.

Maybe a mother-in-law who critiques and / or mocks your cooking in front of others?

This my friend; this is for you.

cockroach Whatchu eatin under there?

Invite that pesky do-gooder over for dinner. Maybe some pasta so it covers the bottom entirely?

Watch them as they quietly tell themselves how they would have made the sauce, presented the meal and wonder where you picked up your plain ol’ off white dinnerware. After all, they would have likely served in the good china.

Then suddenly it comes into view…

They look but don’t speak…

cockroaches Whatchu eatin under there?

Shear terror crosses their face as they jump from the table clutching their mouth and spitting their dinner into their hand.

Maybe even a single tear falls – you know the one. It creeps out only when one experiences a hell of a scare.

What you don’t have that? Oh. Well. Ahem. Carry on.

I am smiling now just at the thought of scaring the utter CRAP outta someone with these plates.

Mine? Mine would have to have a rat.

Now I think I have to start my Christmas shopping….

{source}

Posted by sam {temptingmama} on August 12, 2009
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe, Crazy Critter Parts, Funnier Than a Shart in a Spacesuit |
{ 21 Comments }

Caption This: Prepare to Be Horrified Edition

Look, I hate to waste your Friday with this, but the fact of the matter is, it’s Friday.  You’re not doing any work anyway, let’s just admit that right now.

So why not caption this very special salt and pepper shaker set:

taxidermy salt and pepper shakers mice Caption This: Prepare to Be Horrified Edition

Then, head on over to Crappy Taxidermy, where you will find much much worse things for your enjoyment and be horrifically pleased with the quality of time you are wasting.

Thanks Tracy for the great find!

*shudder*

Posted by Karen Sugarpants on August 7, 2009
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe, Crazy Critter Parts |
{ 20 Comments }

Excuse me, would you happen to have an extra hair comb I could borrow?

This one’s for you our wonderful readers!

CAPTION THIS!

GuineaPigHairComb thumb 500x459 23229 Excuse me, would you happen to have an extra hair comb I could borrow?

{source} also featured on BoingBoing

Posted by sam {temptingmama} on July 19, 2009
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe, Crazy Critter Parts, Lovely Hair Accessories Possibly Made From Live Mammals, You Can Stop Making Crafts Now |
{ 43 Comments }

I Think My Cat Left One Like This on My Carpet

First off, your comments on Guess That Mess! are hilarious! I totally love them, thank you for playing along. It was so great, we’re contemplating making it a regular feature here at Craftastrophe.

And without further ado, the Mess? Though I much perfer some of your answers, the jacket it made of synthetic doll hair, Spanish Moss, and jute.

I had to google the later since I have NO idea what the heck ‘jute’ is.

Okay, so I googled Spanish Moss as well.

A jacket? If the sleeves where only a touch longer they could be wrapped around the body and fastened behind to resemble another kind of jacket.

Justine’s comment made me spit coffee all over my computer:

Ummm – a horrifically misguided attempt at making fake vomit?

A sweater or coat made from shed dog fur? With nicotine-stained glue-gun applique?

A loofah and mucus sculpture?

A coat made of human hair? (Please don’t be pubic hair, please don’t be pubic hair…)

And you! to! can own this jacket for a mere $525!

Maybe for that price they’ll toss in the skinned doll heads? Hey, you could ask!

Or how about this?

blargh I Think My Cat Left One Like This on My Carpet

I don’t know what’s funnier: the fact that I actually wretched at the sight of this or it’s title, “Not Yet Titled”.

Oh, and this one? $1,300. The Stained Industrial Elastic? $3,500.

Yes. Yes it is.

Why didn’t I become an artist?

{source: hair jacket, elastic band art, “Not Yet Titled“}

Posted by sam {temptingmama} on May 8, 2009
Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe, Crazy Critter Parts, For The Insane, Stranger Than a Duck Wearing a Thong |
{ 11 Comments }

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