Don’t assume that it’s just a stupid duck.

It could be this weird, strangely adorable little mouser.

Not like those little bastards that are eating the poison under my sink and sprinkling it everywhere taunting me while they eat munch my crackers.

I wouldn’t doubt they’re calling me a stupid cracker too.

Damn mice.

Though, hearing these little buggers scurry across the kitchen floor may be pretty damn funny.

*THWAP, THAWP, THAWP, THWAP*

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Stoner Cat,

Stoner Cat,

What are they feeding you?

Stoner Cat,

Stoner Cat,

It’s not your fault….

From the listing:

free shipping!

Heh.

What kills me in the look on the cat’s face.  And goodness knows your parents will never suspect this item for drug paraphernalia.  Nah, never.

Just say no, kids!

Thanks Genevieve!

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…stegosaurus?

Thanks for the hearty giggle Candace!

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Editor’s note: Do not attempt to write a post while you’re mentally creating your shopping list. Oh, and kitty litter and cat nip? Totally interchangeable. (Maybe that’s why my cat hates me so.)

::

People have this affinity for creating weird things for cat toys. I can’t think of anyone I know that would ever buy something like this for their animals to play with. I mean, sure it’s funny as hell to see a cat gnaw the crap out of a toy that’s laced with kitty litter cat nip, but to watch a cat gnaw the crap out of a diaper laced with kitty litter cat nip ?

I just don’t know.

“Aw look honey, Buster’s playing with the crap filled diaper again! Isn’t he just the cutest thing?!”

“Hey babe, come see the cat hump the crap out of the diaper toy!”

“Sweetie! The cat’s eating sh!t again!!”

All funny, yet for some reason, I still wouldn’t want to buy my cat a crap covered toy; and I don’t even like my cat.

Um, Jesus, sir. I think you have something on your face.

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From the listing:

Moloch started his Life as an 11 inch all vinyl, bald, brightly orange-colored child’s toy.
He now thinks he is The Gothic Fantasy King Of All Horned Things.

Oh he does, does he?  It looks more like some dude defaced the poor thing until it looked as though it had been mauled by a pack of wolves.  That hair makes Barbie look authentic.  What IS that?  Soul Glo?

You know, however badass Moloch thinks he is, the fact remains that he still has that baby doll grin:

Which, coupled with the subtle come hither finger and the chest baring linen robe, totally spells GIGOLO.  Horned things, indeed.  Moloch honey, you look like you haven’t slept in weeks, and is that…Herpes on those lips?  Let me get you on a Visine & Valtrex treatment of sorts.

Thanks GirlShawn….for the greebily nightmares!

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