Editor’s note: Do not attempt to write a post while you’re mentally creating your shopping list. Oh, and kitty litter and cat nip? Totally interchangeable. (Maybe that’s why my cat hates me so.)

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People have this affinity for creating weird things for cat toys. I can’t think of anyone I know that would ever buy something like this for their animals to play with. I mean, sure it’s funny as hell to see a cat gnaw the crap out of a toy that’s laced with kitty litter cat nip, but to watch a cat gnaw the crap out of a diaper laced with kitty litter cat nip ?

I just don’t know.

“Aw look honey, Buster’s playing with the crap filled diaper again! Isn’t he just the cutest thing?!”

“Hey babe, come see the cat hump the crap out of the diaper toy!”

“Sweetie! The cat’s eating sh!t again!!”

All funny, yet for some reason, I still wouldn’t want to buy my cat a crap covered toy; and I don’t even like my cat.

Um, Jesus, sir. I think you have something on your face.

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From the listing:

Moloch started his Life as an 11 inch all vinyl, bald, brightly orange-colored child’s toy.
He now thinks he is The Gothic Fantasy King Of All Horned Things.

Oh he does, does he?  It looks more like some dude defaced the poor thing until it looked as though it had been mauled by a pack of wolves.  That hair makes Barbie look authentic.  What IS that?  Soul Glo?

You know, however badass Moloch thinks he is, the fact remains that he still has that baby doll grin:

Which, coupled with the subtle come hither finger and the chest baring linen robe, totally spells GIGOLO.  Horned things, indeed.  Moloch honey, you look like you haven’t slept in weeks, and is that…Herpes on those lips?  Let me get you on a Visine & Valtrex treatment of sorts.

Thanks GirlShawn….for the greebily nightmares!

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About a week ago, Hilly wrote a post about people who get drunk and ruin things for everyone else.  That post seriously brought the LOLZ.   Said post referenced a party-goer’s ‘beaten clam:’

Somehow we got seated at a table with the loud drunk who kept interrupting the show, his equally loud and obnoxious wife and a lady who we shall call Griselda.  Now then, poor Dave was seated next to Griselda who, by the way, was a bit of a weatherd woman who has lost some of her teeth throughout the ages.  Apparently, she was wearing a skirt cut up to her thigh and kept giving Dave a show of her beaten clam every time she would move.

Later that same day I got this submission from Candace.

From the listing:

They say don’t eat raw clams they could be bad for you , but who new (sic) this is what they meant!
this naughty clam is smoking!! awful!! his name is BOB and he dosn’t like to be told what to do (much like my husband who is my inspiration)!

Ha.  Ha ha ha ha.  Here’s one dirty clam who isn’t going to prom.  Jam Out With Your Clam Out!

Beaten clam.

Can’t stop laughing.

Thanks Candace and Hilly for the laughs!

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Can’t look away from the nipples. “You’ll shoot yer eye out kid.”

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Today is Sam’s birthday.  She’s 43 today, but doesn’t look a day over, well, 43. *

I was really upset I couldn’t get it in time, especially since this would fit with Sam’s taste so nicely.

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