Hey you guys! I was pulling the plastic flamingos out of my front yard to make this headdress…is that two words? Head dress? I don’t know, you guys this ain’t a dress for your head but it sure is pretty! So, anyway, you guys I was pulling the pink plastic flamingos out of my front yard to make this “piece of art” when I realized…This art oughta be photographed in front of MY favorite piece of art. I present to you guys my totally rad headdress, photographed in front of the painting that John Wayne Gacy sent to me as a thank you for the many erotic letters I sent to him about my clown fetish. Etsy made me take down the erotic poem I originally had with this listing, so I had to change it to this:

This piece is a one of a kind. Where do I start. It is a headband with a huge bow on top made of pink, orange, and green florescent tulle, with a doll’s head in the middle. The doll has a sequened crown and there are two flamingos on each side of the bow. The headband is covered in blue tinsel material. It is not heavy though and will not weigh your head down. Anywhere you wear this to, you will be noticed. It is truly a piece of art and this is the only one I have ever made like it.

What I didn’t say is that this piece is meant to be worn with the lingerie that I made with the melted barbie heads on the nips.

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Thanks, Cari!

flutter writes on her personal blog byflutter, sometimes.

This item gives a whole new meaning to crazy cat lady. OY.

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Love the concept, but the execution leaves little to be desired.

I mean, unless you walk around all day with your skirt splayed by the hem, people are just going to think you shit yourself. And that’s just awkward for everyone.

My tags all read ‘L’ but I perfer to say they’re ‘M’ too. Just sayin’.

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Bronze their poop instead!

5 X 7 inch wooden plaque
in a stained wood color & gloss finish,
with our LARGE FAKE DOG POOP
in a beautiful Metallic Gold !

( Not real gold )
Shiny GOLD tone Fake Dog Crap
as an AWARD …

Srsly? Not real gold? DAMMIT!

for the Crappy Salesman?
for the Sh#t Head of the Month?
for the LAST PLACE Golfer?
for the ??????????

or even…..
for the person that “thinks”
they have “EVERYTHING” ?
Well, they don’t have THIS !!!!!!!!!!!

True dat. True. Dat.

I guess this is NOT like an Olympic Gold Metal,
But rather the opposite.

I beg to differ. If I were giving this gift, I am SURE I would tear up with happiness while I witnessed the receiver opening their package.

Heh. I said package.

Also available in SILVER color for a 2nd Place Award and BRONZE color for a 3rd Place Award by SPECIAL request !

There is space on the Plaque to install one of those small brass engraved plates with a Name and Title of the Award. (not included)

Can also be hung on the wall if you use a small picture frame hanger on the back. (not included)

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Description

Name: Fedora

Age: 15

Zodiac: Cancer

Family: she’s the only daughter of a forester, her mother left them because she didn’t want to live in the woods

Likes: playing with baby rabbits and her dog in summer, dreaming in a chair by the fireplace in winter, making herbal tea when it is chilly and rainy outside

Upsets: may be she will never fall in love

Life statement: It’s better like this than living in a big city. Anyway you don’t need to seem somebody who you are not, no need to pretend. Just be.

Of course Fedora will never fall in love.  She’s a doll, as in not alive.  A DOLL.  Also, her tits are square.  You know that’s not right, right?